Alex Rodriguez has a painting of himself as a centaur

November 9th, 2009 // 34 Comments

Somehow I missed this story last week, but I’m posting it anyway because it’s too good to pass up. Via The Dish Rag:

Alex Rodriguez is rumored to have portraits of himself as a mythic creature called a centaur – half man, half horse – in his home.
His ex-fling tells Us Weekly one painting even hangs over his stable, er, bed.
One has to wonder which part of the horse Alex is.

If it’s a horse’s upper body with A-Rod’s legs, that man just won my respect for life. I don’t care if he fucked Madonna, you can’t deny that level of badass. The closest I ever came was commissioning a painting of a bear with my entire body as his left arm. That mountain lion it was fighting didn’t know what the fuck.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Harold^Sick

    Who is that yeti next to him in Pic 2? I almost feel bad for her, but at the same time, not at all.

  2. You Know You’re Big When J-Zay is your Bodyguard!!!

  3. John

    Welcome to last week.

    I heard the Titanic sank, too. You should run a story about it.

  4. i know

    i know!!!!! that girl in the 2nd picture OMG! wtf!?!?!

  5. Illiterate Kryptonite

    @4: Way to read the first sentence, asshat.

  6. killerabbit

    What self-respecting man doesn’t have a picture of himself as a centaur?

  7. That’s what he’ll look like after the ‘roids really kick in…half horse.

  8. Rancid

    Centaurs are the most sexually degenerate creatures in mythology (even compared to the gods). They have absolutely no self-control.

    I doubt Rodriguez even knows this. He probably saw this stenciled on a side of a van, and thought it was “cool”.

  9. stupidass

    …..not nearly as disturbing as his painting of himself dry humping Estelle Getty

  10. Erica

    LMAO at upper body horse with human legs image. That shit is whack.

  11. Ein

    What a prick, why not sign the damn ball?

  12. netstarman

    i know I’m not a veterinarian but I can tell he is a Horse’s ass with bad hemorrhoids.

  13. A Rod Begs For It Up Da Butt

    A Rod loves it when his women put the ( ==========D) strap-on to him for discipline.

  14. LPB

    Redd Foxx had a similar painting of himself; when the IRS forced him to have a garage sale in Vegas, I wanted to buy it.

    I’m really sorry now that I didn’t.

  15. TheMactastic

    In other news that happened a week and half ago…..

    Superficial writes slacking? Never

  16. Christopher Rock

    When the hell did Jay Z become such a huge Yankee fan? 2009? Bandwagoner extraordinare!

  17. B

    Lets talk about whats important- his dick. He’s got big ears, big feet, one might assume he’s packing a 9+ incher. Someone needs to ask Kate Hudson.

  18. B-deezy

    Forget Centaurs this story is now about that chick in the second picture!

  19. I Think

    he should have signed that chick’s ball.
    she’s probably into centaurs.
    i mean look at those furry rave boots!
    they could have had centaur and sasquatch lovin all night.

  20. Lloyd Johnson

    I love how Jay-z behind him is dressed like a wannabe baseball player and the real baseball player is dress like a grown man.

    the girl in photo 2 is an arctic gogo dancer.

  21. everybody hates Rough

    lol youre kidding!

    This dude got an ego to match his lip gloss collections….

  22. Valerie


  23. Nice style in this one. I want to see the pictures. Not up close and in real life. Via the web would be just fine

  24. lololololol

    i always knew arod was bi; this only confirms it.

  25. He likes being on all fours.

  26. Nice style in this one. I want to see the pictures. Not up close and in real life. Via the web would be just fine.

  27. Chicken Fillet

    Too bad he had to resort to Kate Hudson, purely because her anorexic rig is likened to his small, steroid effected dick. We all know Madonna needs a strong 7+ inches to be satisfied.

  28. umm

    @ 29 what’s a “rig”??

  29. Heather

    He looks like a monkey.
    Does no one else see it?
    He should have had a painting made of himself as a half human half monkey… but nothing would be added.

  30. db

    Robbie Alomar (a former major league player) had one of these as well.

    He also had unprotected sex with women knowing he had aids.

  31. Nameless

    This like Wedding Crashers- the weird dude who wanted Vince Vaughn– type crazy sh*t. A portrait of himself as a centaur? LOL

  32. OK… that is just ghay.

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