Alessandra Ambrosio stretching in a bikini is not the Oscars

March 8th, 2010 // 106 Comments

As the world focuses its attention on last night’s Academy Awards, it’s comforting to know supermodels are still out there stretching and standing in the ocean. In a way, they’re almost like The Hurt Locker, but with less war-fighting and more making women self-conscious about their appearance so they’ll try to fit in Victoria’s Secret underwear. (Out of respect for Katherine Bigelow, I’m not going to say which is the nobler cause.)

Photos: Splash News

  1. stanlymorris

    she’s getting over muscular. She no longer looks like she can bear a child. fail :(

  2. Ryan

    First? NICE ASS! lol

  3. Willie Dixon

    Belly button weirdness.

  4. WINNER!
    Give her a Statue

  5. picture # 6 would be perfect..
    only missing a little golden shower.

  6. Bob Dole

    Damnit, eat a sandwich.

  7. Big'n

    Damnit superficial, now I’m all horny. Thanks a lot!

  8. Parker

    Oh, this is perfect. I wish all the pics on this site only showed chick in this waiting-for-anal-sex pose. If not then at least include a few snaps of them making sandwiches.

  9. What’s missing in Picture #6
    Clue: Golden and Shower

  10. Stretching is important ;-)

  11. shmeeze

    @6 hahhhhhahahhha no bullshit
    i really want to know..are these girls just naturally that skinny or do they really not eat. cus i just ate 2 egg rolls and some egg drop soup and now i feel like a fat ass lol.

  12. Natalia

    Tooooooo skinny. She needs some meat on those bones.

  13. Shmeeze, hard to tell. Her genes may favor her; she might as well eat batting dipped in orange juice for breakfast, lunch & dinner, like mannequins often seem to do.

  14. HubaHuba

    To everyone saying she needs more meat on her bones Don’t you worry none. Elect me to help them out and I’ll give them all the meat and bone they need!


  15. READ Me Sarah

    am i the only one that likes belly button weirdness?

    —sarah got juice sarah got juice ooohhhh sarah!—

  16. Sport

    When did she get so boney?
    Not *as* hot as before but gimme a break – none of us would say no.

  17. Wazmeister05

    She has a mans face

  18. dude

    funny, #5.

    but actually, she’s the one supermodel that actually serves a purpose in this world: she sniffs out cadavers, bodies left in new jersey’s waterways. Way to go chick!

  19. Deacon Jones

    The next time my friend’s wife is over for a game, and bitches about how she just can’t lose the baby-weight as she fills a second plate full of wings with blue cheese dressing, I’m going to bring this up on my laptop and place it on her lap and walk out of the room.

  20. wow

    resembles big bird too much in last pic. cute face tho.

  21. murder


  22. Perfect

    I think she’s almost perfect.
    With a nice boob job, she would be perfect.

  23. bones

    skeleton with a fat set of cunt lips.meh

  24. Goddamit that is GROSS!

    Stringy and gross. Thanks for nothing.

  25. Herbert Stinkelmeyer III

    #25 = virgin/latent homo

  26. ehhh


    A lot of the Victoria’s Secret models look absolutely amazing, perfect bodies. But she needs a cheeseburger. Fast.

  27. marcy

    She is so beautiful.

  28. Wowzers

    She is ridiculously hot. And that last pic showing off her sweet little clam is dope.

  29. jeez

    Someone give this cunt a fucking cheeseburger for christ’s sake, she looks like a fucking skeleton

  30. James T.

    She needs to gain a little weight

  31. LikeItThatWay

    I would much rather have a beauty like this who could (optionally) stand to eat a cheeseburger than all the others who look like they are hiding a 12 pack of cheeseburgers in their pants….

  32. female

    Wow… just. Wow.

    wow. going to the gym right now.

  33. JimmyCrackedCorn

    @21 And that will (at best) get you a night on the couch or (at worst) a bill from a divorce lawyer.

  34. Drundel

    Wow and she had a kid, what a year ago? I bet all other mothers hate her.

  35. gen



  36. asdf

    nice camel toe there.

    but she’s way too skinny, and has no curves

  37. blah

    fucking nasty. “she” looks like a 9 year old (no offence to the hot nine year olds). Pic #6 looks like she is giving a golden shower (hahahahahhaahha I just made that up!!!) I bet right after these pics were taken she went to the can and took a massive dump.
    P.S. This fucking website sucks ass and long live American Idol, best show ever!!!

  38. Perfect

    Amen #33
    It’s refreshing to take a girl out who won’t bloat on you after one batch of chicken wings!

  39. Perfect

    Blah 40 – you just lost all cred with your dick sucking montage to American Idol…good Lord! I didn’t think anyone who had a choice actually watches that trash??


  41. blah

    I thought I would lose all cred right from the very beginning. For you it took until the last sentence? hahahahahahahahah what a stupid cunt.

  42. Lux

    That is a good looking woman with the Pulitzer/Nobel Peace of bodies.

  43. Eirin

    What happened to her?

  44. Do_Freebird

    What a slut.
    I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a bad thing.
    For this slut, it’s a good thing.

  45. Scott

    “38. Alli Watermelon – March 8, 2010 6:16 PM


    Oh for fucks sake, SHUT THE FUCK UP.Posting your sorry ass pics doesnt warrant you calling someone whose SO much hotter than you, running your cockholster.. its almost sad-instead, its fuckin annoying.

    Shes fucking stunning, which, you know, that whole super model thing sort of backs me up on. You on the other hand? Jealous. Grow the fuck up.

  46. Marie

    She is incredible. Anyone who says otherwise is either blind, jealous, or just insulting her so they stand out, in which case, you certainly do, but, only because you look ridiculous. Great body? Check. Beautiful face? Check. Yes, I can certainly see how you can look at her and think ‘fucking nasty’.


  47. Dread not

    @ 3
    Award given to Alessandra Ambrosio. She gets the “Stiffy.”

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