Alessandra Ambrosio should help me open windows and other news

- Nicholas Sparks is kind of a dick. [Lainey Gossip]

- Michelle Bombshell gets her Swastika ass handed to her by Chelsea Handler. [PopEater]

- That shit’s just not right. [Dlisted]

- Khloe love food. Khloe no time to talk. Khloe chomp good. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Marla Maples is still wearing bikinis. [HollywoodTuna]

- Ricky Gervais understands America. [StarPulse]

- Heidi Montag wants to be Lara Croft. [TheFABlife]

- Sam Worthington enjoys a cool summer’s breeze on his testicles just as much as the next man. [Amy Grindhouse]

- Levi McConaughey is already doing the family name proud. [Socialite Life]

- Justin Bieber proves just how unfunny Funny or Die is. For anyone who hasn’t seen the HBO show. (DON’T.) [ICYDK]

- Jennifer Lopez will bankrupt Def Jam now. [Bossip]

- Suri Cruise owns all these bitches. [Betty Confidential]

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