Alessandra Ambrosio redefines MILF and other news

- Demi Moore claims she’s never had plastic surgery. Right. And I’ve never paid a hooker to dress up like Abe Lincoln Catwoman. [PopEater]

- Hayden Panettiere is still alive. Midgety. [Lainey Gossip]

- Hilary Duff is pulling diva shit on the set of Gossip Girl. Someone should let Hilary know who’s doing who who a favor in this situation. Then let Leighton Meester know I’m hung like a Sherman tank. Do that first. [Celebslam]

- Robert Pattinson allows Premiere magazine to photograph his brooding. [PopSugar]

- Audrina Patridge is leaving The Hills to pursue her film career which will be going nowhere until someone writes Wonk-Tits: The Movie. [Wonderwall]

- Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo are back together which is probably the greatest thing to happen to Nick’s penis since Joe Simpson stopped sleeping in their bed. [The Blemish]