Alessandra Ambrosio goes out with a bang

May 2nd, 2008 // 44 Comments

What your eyes are feasting on above is Victoria’s Secret Angel Alessandra Ambrosio’s last photo shoot before taking a maternity leave from modeling. I included shots of Alessandra shopping yesterday. She’s about six months give or take. The sexy pics are in the latest issue of Arena Magazine and make me realize, “Hey, pregnant ladies need lovin’, too.” So, that being said, The Superficial Writer, in his benevolence, will now accept sexual propositions from those with child.

Rules: First trimester only. No pregnant dudes from that freaky episode of Oprah. All pregnant ladies must be in the form of Victoria’s Secret model. A “No Laughing at the Wang” form must be signed pre-coitus. No photographs. Laser-proof undergarments provided upon request.


  1. … and 2 in the stink…

  2. Alex Stone

    She’s the best!

  3. I’d bang it. Granted I don’t have a penis. However if I could borrow maybe, I don’t know, Jimbo’s, I’d be all over it.

  4. Kim

    Ouch, those sequins look like they might scratch his obviously exposed package!

  5. Brandon

    Man, her kid is gonna love to see photos of what mommy was doing when she was pregnant.

  6. Fumus

    Saradevil you can borrow mine, I haven’t used that thing in years. Wait check that…there was that time I needed coat rack at a party

    …well it’s all yours, just bring er’ home STD free in the morning.

  7. Sarah

    She’s hot.

    He looks like he’s sleeping underneath her.

    Nothing ruins a picture more than when a prop model looks like crap, and the main model looks amazing.

  8. no thanks

    I smell OVERRATED here. I don’t know what her appeal to you is but this chick looks completely like a tranny to me. But we all know you have no taste in women. And you may be into trannies.

  9. yup, she looks tranny

    Woah, such a completely slut photo. It could be porno. I guess an overrated bitch has gotta do what an overrated bitch has gotta do to get some attention.
    If she hadn’t posed for such whorish shocking photo, she would be *yawn* forgotten faster than you can say overrated.

  10. lipper

    Maybe she’s suppose to be a vampire, and he’s really dead. Sucked em dry!

    That’s a terrible prop she’s got there. Embarrassing that everyone now knows she puts a guy out from boredom.

  11. ph7

    He’s bored because there is clearly no insertion.

    Foreplay is strictly for fags.

  12. me

    she is soooooooo hot

  13. Sid

    Her butt is as flat as his penis.

  14. ph7

    Her gummy smile is actually hot for some reason.

  15. Alice

    She gets mad when the male models get erections, so he’s try his best not to think about how sweet Spencer Pratt’s ass was last night.

  16. bootlips

    Just so everyone undestands me, the only reason I hate smelly negroes is because my mom is a mud shark, and when I was a kid her black boyfriend used to make me suck his huge dick and ever since then I have hated the coons. So, it’s really not my fault I am a racist. I can’t help it.

  17. tony the tiger

    i would eat the corn out of her . . . .

  18. I've got ADHD too

    What is she looking at, a TV? A how-to video?

  19. nipolian

    Just what all the parents that can’t take the time to be their kids role models so they rely on celebutards to fill the void need………another fucking un-wed mother to be in the public spotlight.

  20. Dick Bush

    She’s a bit overrated….

    Same pose everytime…

    @17 nig

  21. Randal

    Who is the brunette in the background? I like her too! Double your pleasure with Double Mint Gum!

    In all seriousness, I wish you all the best Alessandra to you and your family.

    Hugs. Kisses. Randal.

  22. come_play

    He looks like he’s sleeping…oooooo Ether Bunny?

  23. sameshitdifferentyear

    Look at that dude.
    “Death By Orgasm”

    Not a bad way to go.

  24. Arioch

    a slut photo?

    as opposed to.. an enlightening of the soul and mind photo? Ever seen fashion before? You think THIS is shocking? Wow. Leave your neighborhood sometime. Or ask Mommy to take the leash off.

  25. absolute

    She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.

  26. GottaLuvaSlut

    Gawd, does everyone have to be half naked to get a little attention these days? Sure she is fucking beautiful, but this devalues her somehow…


    Moving on…

  27. wtf

    she’s a model. she doesn’t pick out what clothes she wears.
    and of course she can be half naked cause she IS a vs angel.
    and most of you hate on her cause your fat ass can’t stop eating whoppers.

  28. HeToldMe...

    I was feeling fat one day (I’m tall and athletic), and my husband blurted out, “you think being skin and bones is attractive?? Between the starving, the gym regimens, the puking, the Photoshop and the coke, you think that’s what a real man wants”?

    Glad I have a man that’s not “Hollywood” :)

  29. lurch forward

    as far as being too skinny, i’ve seen her and she looks dam good. and she is boney. tall and boney and hot. she can eat motzah in bed with me anytime. admit it. motzah is one tasty cracker. and she’s another. tasty and fragile and boney. boney. that’d make two of us. she’s hot.

  30. Poor Bimbo


    Hm… I must be jealous of this chick who got knocked up hoping that her boyfriend would commit. But of course, like most rich, successful, handsome men who can usually get any woman they want, they know that bimbos like Alessandra are only good for fucking.

    Do you know any chick who will want to be a girl that is used for fucking alone?

    Even Jessica Alba who is also on the slow side could eventually get her boyfriend to commit by getting knocked up. So this one must be beyond idiotic.

  31. Total Respect for the Guy


    He probably fell asleep out of boredom as soon as she started her usual dialogue, “I’m like, uhm, totally…, like, you know?”

  32. no thanks' best friend

    to “no thanks” above, who said she “looks like a tranny.” YES! i’ve been saying this for years. what seals it for me is her tranny voice. i’ve met her at parties quite a few times and she’s also dumb as a doornail. i hope she retires permanently.

  33. mmmmmVS

    #31… What are girls good for other than effing?

  34. yr wrong like hitler

    #34 douche.

  35. interesting.

    #34- Uh, I dunno, you know, making the world worthwhile.

    She’s fucking hot. I’d do her. ;)

  36. god I hope BIG YELLOW smiley face tee shirts are making a comeback

  37. If i were the guy, i would like to above her….

  38. chark

    She is hot! OMG, I saw her profile on B L A C K W H I T E K I S S .C O M last week– where you can met many real cute babes and single black and white men online. It seems she turns to online dating scene for true love.

  39. yeah right!

    #29, your husband is probably a fat cow himself…how could he possibly like heavy, fat, fit…whatever you call it..and not like skin and bones?? Your jeans probably ride really high on your wide waist and he has back hair and a stomach bloat to boot!!

  40. Fasc(ion)ist(a)

    Her ass is flat as a pancake someone cut down the middle.
    Way overrated, but rich enough to be an unwed whore, er, baby mama. Ain’t fame grand?

  41. Dan

    I don’t like this chick. She’s not hot enough at all. And look at that flat ass. It’s flatter than a fucking wall. She’s a curveless boney tranny looking stick. The day I’m into boney trannies with flat asses maybe I’ll find this chick appealing, but I’m into gorgeous hot chicks with pretty faces and nice asses and curves and feminine bodies. So you can keep this flat-assed curveless tranny looking overrated mess all to yourselves.

  42. J

    #20…if two people are in love and want a child…then they have every right to it

    #32…I doubt that’s how the conversation went. Alessandra is highly educated.

  43. Billy

    Uhhhh, notice the fact that she is not “arching” one bit. In fact, it almost looks like she is pushing herself into him. If she arches even a couple inches we wouldn’t have these comments of a flat ass. Good God, there must be a LOT of inexperienced kids making these comments because they are completely unwarranted.

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