Alec Baldwin Isn’t Famous Anymore

In case you haven’t heard by now, Alec Baldwin has dictated a lengthy essay to Vulture about his decision to quit public life because he met with the faggots, and he made nice with the faggots, but you faggots can’t seem to leave him alone to do important work helping you faggots out. Which is not an exaggeration. The man spends over 5,000 words talking about how great he is, how he’s never had to do bullshit police procedurals (Apparently that’s an actor thing.) yet for some reason he’s constantly attacked by the media whether in the form of mustache-twirling paparazzi who take pleasure in making his wife fall or the two-faced media with its Anderson Coopers and Rachel Maddows who can’t appreciate Alec Baldwin for being liberal crusader Alec Baldwin and instead feel the need to take the hate speech he accidentally says at face value costing him his MSNBC show that he didn’t even want to do anymore anyway because they weren’t doing it the Alec Baldwin way. It’s just ridiculous froth froth froth. And for even more schadenfreude, there’s a section devoted to Shia LaBeouf who Alec Baldwin didn’t get along with on the set of Orphans because – and the irony is epically missed here – they’re the same person. Two fart-sniffing rage-monsters hell-bent on proving their genius to a world too stupid to appreciate it. So here’s that if you’ve got time to kill:

Alec Baldwin: Good-bye, Public Life – Vulture

Or here are sexy Instagrams of his daughter because reading is hard:

Photo: Steve Schofield/New York Magazine