See? Alec Baldwin’s Hair Stylist Is A Gay C*cksucker, This Was A Big Deal Out Of Nothing

November 15th, 2013 // 20 Comments
'Cocksucking Fag!'
Alec Baldwin Paparazzi
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Alec Baldwin has been in some shit since calling a photographer a “cocksucking fag” yesterday, or “fathead” as acoustics will undoubtedly prove clearing Alec’s good, tolerant name. So to put a stop to this horseshit, Alec Baldwin set out to find his gay hairstylist and literally shove him in front of the cameras to make him do schtick. Which sounds bad enough until, not even exaggerating, he verbally and physically assaulted a news reporter and a photographer on his way to the salon because this was apparently his morning:

“Razza frazza, call me intolerant. *berates news reporters* I’ll fucking show them who doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body. What are you looking at?! *slams paparazzo into car* Teach them a lesson… *storms into salon* You! Faggot who cuts my hair, outside. NOW. *drags stylist outside* Make this look good. Gentleman! I’m glad you’re here. You see this man? He puts penises in his mouth yet I still let him cut my hair. Would a real homophobe do that? I don’t think so. Now, get back to work, ya cocksucker. Ha! See, how we kid? I hope he gets married to a nice fudgepacker. I really do. Now, back the fuck off, I have a gun.”

Photos: Splash News / Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Hugh G. Rection

    Alec Baldwin isn’t homophobic, some of his best friends are cocksucking fags.

  2. Frank Burns

    That’s like trotting out your posts on “The Superficial” to show how witty you are.

  3. SomeDude

    I can’t help but laugh at just how butt hurt the internet is acting over some words. Awwww…. did da’ widdle photogs get their pwecious feewings hurt? Grow the fuck up you panty-waist asshats!

  4. Convex

    The horse is dead Fish, it’s past time to stop beating it. SomeDude is right: it’s funny, in a sad sort of way, how some of you internet writers are all butt hurt over this. We don’t all agree with the liberal perspective on gays, nor are we required to. This is the U.S., land of the free. Just because you feel compelled to be a touchy-feely liberal doesn’t mean the rest of us have to agree with you. If you keep this crap up, you’ll end up another Perez Hilton, who uses his site to bully and denigrate others, especially those who don’t fall in with his agendas.

    You’re better than this Fish. Your talent is in satire; we come here for your razor-sharp wit, not your rabid political and social views. Yeah, I know some of your followers will hurl insults at me and try the usual liberal bullying tactic, but that doesn’t bother me; I ignore the bottom feeders, no matter how low-brow and vulgar they get. But do some of us a favor and retire your soapbox.

    • Your anonymous online persona will allow you to ignore all the insults directed at you? You are truly brave. I am sure that soon, statues will be erected and parades will be held in your honor. You are a hero, sir. To stand in the face of internet insults, I can only wish that I had the fortitude to follow in your footsteps. We are all better for having seen his post.

      I’ll say it again. This man is a hero.

    • Nobody is particularly offended or dumbstruck by Alec Baldwin calling someone a fag. It’s neither shocking nor surprising.

      What it IS…is blood in the water. It’s an opportunity for people…ordinary people like you, me, and Fish, to tear into a rich, privileged, snobbishly entitled celebrity and make him fucking dance for us. We want the Emmy and Golden Globe winning patriarch of the Baldwin clan to dance like a goddamn monkey for our entertainment.

      See, this is BETTER than acting…because it’s real. It’s his real life we’re pissing all over now. We pick and we prod and we antagonize, knowing that he’s only one too many martinis at lunch away from calling that TMZ dreadlock guy an ‘N word’. And then the show gets REALLY good.

      What’s even more fun than watching someone succeed? Watching someone fail. It’s even better when they fall from the top of the ladder because the carnage when they hit bottom is all the more gruesome.

      So yeah, we’re going to make a big deal out of it when Alec calls someone a fag. Not because it IS a big deal, but because we want monkey boy to dance.

      • What’s even more fun than watching someone like Baldwin fail is hearing someone who’s not part of a minority group declare, with the absolute certainty, that “nobody” is particularly offended or dumbstruck when someone equally privileged starts throwing bigoted slurs around.

        Man, the entitlement – it just never fucking stops.

    • Dox

      Satire:
      Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.

      Since you brought it up, I thought you should be made aware of what it is that you are talking about. Should you bother to apply said definition to this post, you would undoubtedly realize the folly, and stupidity involved in Mr. Baldwin’s actions. That people choose to use sarcasm, and caustic wit to make light of it, is not pushing an agenda. Its Satire.

      Honestly, I think most everyone on this site could give two fucks about politics. We hear it every day. In the news, on regular news sites, on the radio, in our fucking sleep. And to be quite honest and frank with you, I am uninterested in listening to your personal, what was the term you used? Ah yes, Butt Hurt, over what you believe is a liberal agenda.

      Let me take this a step further. Nobody is interested in your viewpoint unless it specific relates to the satire we create here in regards to those individuals that live the platinum plated lifestyle.

      If you don’t like it here, and find it offensive to your conservative sensibilities, you are more than welcome to return to your fox cocoon, and not ever post here again.

      Trust me. We wouldn’t mind.
      At, Fucking. All.

    • Johnny Barbells

      jesus christ… this is fish’s webzone, he can do – or not do – whatever the fuck his little heart desires, because it’s HIS… you are free to go read some other celeb-gossip/tit-pic blog (even tho’ i know that’s not what fish wants), or you can go start your own if you’re so goddamn clever and interesting… you do not get to decide or dictate what someone else’s thing is …so please, continue coming here and clicking, or don’t, but shut the fuck up with your bitching and complaining!!! (this goes for ALL of you)

      …and just like you don’t get to decide what the content of someone’s else’s blog is, no one gets to decide what is or is not offensive to groups of people… just like nigger is offensive to blacks, faggot is offensive to gays …just ask them, they’ll tell you …so, unless you’re gay (or black) you have absolutely zero fucking right to tell them it’s not a big deal …putting forth that age-old bullshit; “it’s just words”, or making the argument; “why do they get to say it and we can’t?”, is nothing more than racist, elitist, intentionally-oblivious jackassery of the highest degree …you privileged dicks.

    • Fresco

      Although I agree his blog used to be vicious and I thought it was over-the-top so I don’t read it anymore, Perez Hilton earns 450,000$ per month, so I think every blogger dreams of ‘ending up’ like him. And I’m sure Fish is grateful for your participation as it made him a couple of extra cents in revenue.

  5. Oh for fuck’s sake. You know what’s more tiresome than Fish’s “liberal agenda”? People bitching and moaning about it in every. damn. conversation.

    Personally, I don’t think Alec Baldwin’s homophobic. I DO think he’s a self-important asshole with a giant mean streak. Dude’s got issues.

  6. Jesus, how could this have anything to do with Fish’s Liberal agenda — which I grant you exists — but when here the fact is that he is pointing out the hypocrisy of as annoying a Hollywood Liberal gasbag as can be found. He’s doing the right thing, and acknowledging a glaring double standard. Tomorrow he will be back to bitching about guns n’ Murica, sure as can be. But with Baldwin, he’s calling a spade a spade.

    And from what I’m reading elsewhere, AB may have pushed it too far this time. A backlash seems to be brewing.

  7. Richard Cabeza, Jr.

    All you buffoons who start pelting Fish with dirty socks every time he makes a political post, which incidentally this is not, seem not to grasp the concept of comments equaling hits and page rank and all that other stuff that has given this website a global ranking of 3596. Alexa is our friend.

    Aside from that, Fish’s political posts, which incidentally this is not, are my favorites. I look forward to the time he leaves the Klinking Klanking Klattering Kollection of Kaliginous Kardashian junK in the rearview mirror and goes full social commentary.

    In the meantime, I’m here for the caustic wit and scathing sarcasm, whatever the topic. And the furnch fries. Don’t forget the furnch fries.

  8. Does it make Alec gay if a man sucks his dick?

  9. his show on msnbc has been suspended.

  10. Fresco

    He’s clearly having some kind of meltdown. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be pestered by the paparazzi, but I doubt he’s getting a different treatment than hundreds of other celebrities. I predict anger management classes in his near future. Unfortunately, that’s all he’ll get even with the shoving and punching and verbal abuse. Cf. Odom, Brown, West to name just a few.

  11. There is a difference between him calling someone who is harassing him a cocksucking fag and your website calling an innocent hairstylist a cocksucking fag. He said it to someone who was harassing him, his wife, and his newborn. You said it about someone who did absolutely nothing to you. This website is disgusting.

    • Nice to know that you and Baldwin think that the worst thing in the world you can call someone – especially someone who’s “innocent” and “who did absolutely nothing to you”- is gay. Baldwin’s go-to insults when he’s enraged, when his inhibitions are removed, are all homophobic, from “cocksucking fag” to “toxic little queen” – guess why that is? If the concept isn’t at home in your head, it doesn’t tend to come out of your mouth.

      BTW, you really ought to work on that reading comprehension as well. Baldwin is doing everything he can to crawl out from under this: from not-so-subtly playing the pity-me-my-new-mother-wife-and-child-were-in-terrible-danger card that you just re-dealt, to trotting out his openly-gay hairdresser to support him, in the tried and true “some of my best friends are [fill in the blank]” that’s every bigot’s fallback excuse. Think he’d be touched to know that you declared him “innocent” until proven gay?

      Go fuck yourself – it’s not the website that’s disgusting. The real problem lies on your side of the monitor.

  12. Jill

    “…Alec Baldwin set out to find his gay hairstylist …”
    You mean there are actually male hair stylist who aren’t gay?!

    STOP THE PRESSES!!!

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