Alanis Morissette’s Manager Had One Hand In Her Pocket

Alanis Morissette, AKA Canada’s Mom, was head over feet when she realized her long-time manager had been pulling an “Office Space” on her by siphoning millions between 2010 and 2014. You oughta know that she wasn’t the only one affected by Jonathan Todd Schwartz’ “hungry-hungry-hippos-style” gambling problem, he was greedily ripping off other clients as well for up to $2 million. He said something ironic (Morissette irony, not textbook definition) in the Hollywood Reporter:

I used to have it all — a great family, a job that I loved and high-profile clients that I represented, partners whom I respected and respected me, and a reputation in the community for hard work, excellent service, and commitment to charities that helped the less fortunate… I had never run afoul of the law before. Now I have lost it all and face going to prison for years. How did I end up throwing it all away?

Poor guy, I wish I had the capacity to steal millions from my clients to give the facade of the Stepford Wives lifestyle this dude was probably putting off. “Commitment to charities that helped the less fortunate“? Look, I’m not the doctor- but getting drunk at a Race for The Cure and hitting on your kid’s babysitter’s friends doesn’t make you Robin Hood. You, sir, are uninvited…