Al Gore Accused of Sexually Assaulting Masseuse

June 24th, 2010 // 68 Comments

Al Gore is being accused of sexually assaulting an Oregon masseuse back in 2006 who claims the former vice president “groped me, grabbed me, engulfed me in embrace, tongue kissed me, massaged me [and] grabbed my breasts.” Which sounds like Al learned some lesson from his old boss (What? No cigar?) until you realize the police found no evidence and she’s hawking the story to the Enquirer. Via People:

The Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office in Portland confirmed Wednesday that the woman reported unwanted sexual contact by Gore to police in 2006, and the prosecutor’s office was briefed by the Portland Police Bureau in late 2006 and January 2007.
“We were told the woman was not willing to be interviewed by the Portland Police Bureau and did not want a criminal investigation to proceed,” Multnomah County D.A. Michael Schrunk said. The woman was reportedly considering suing Gore before last month approaching the National Enquirer, asking for $1 million for her story.
The woman, who did not respond to several attempted follow-up interviews with police, revealed in the complaint that she grappled with her decision to come forward – even consulting with attorneys – but ultimately decided to do so to protect other women who may have experienced the same trauma.
She told detectives she only wanted “justice” and that her complaint was not an attempt to receive money.

You know when you don’t get to say this wasn’t about the money? Right after selling your story for $1 million to the National Enquirer. That’d be like me having sex with a woman then claiming I was just interested in her thoughts on curtains. On that note, I included the Portland Police’s new release which essentially points out this woman called them out of the blue this month to change her statement right before going to the media. I’m not saying this makes her accusations true or false because if Ben Roethlisberger has taught us anything, it’s that getting sexually assaulted by a famous person is the new winning the lottery. USA!

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Smaug

    Phist

  2. Smells like a $$ shakedown to me.
    Perhaps I lack imagination but I just CANNOT picture Al Gore getting all Neanderthal with a woman.
    Tipper, give us the goods on why you separated!

  3. Mee Mee

    I knew when I heard the divorce the old lecher had got caught doing something. I bet this won’t be the last story to come out.

  4. bob

    first motherfuckers !!!!

  5. pimp

    who cares about this shit? more jessica simpson! i wanna suck on her asshole…

  6. Damn, see what happens when global warming sets in.

  7. ALGORE=LIES

    That douche needs to go to jail! He hasn’t helped the environment at all!! He’s just basically set up a great environment to make billions in carbon trading!

  8. Crusty

    I abhor everything AL Gore stands for in terms of his politics and environmental views (as if you can separate the two) but I hadn’t seen a shakedown like this since.. well.. last week’s $20B extortion Obama laid on BP.

    If this woman pursue’s legal action, I hope Gore’s legal team buries her..

    • jim x

      I *wish* Obama had shaken down BP like this. If Obama had treated BP like this, he would have nationalized all their oil wells, and BP would be running to the UN like a spoiled coke-jonesing hooker.

      • Ann

        Jim X. You are not only funny but totally correct. Sad to say but this is not a partisan problem. This is a world problem. What are we going to when the Gulf Coast is surrounded by razor wire? I guess we will see.

    • Oilman

      Extortion? Guys like you complained when Obama didn’t fine BP, and now you complain because he did. You clearly don’t realize how deeply indoctrinated you are. Ever had an original rational thought? Give it a try, it’s…liberating.

      • Crusty

        Arbitrarily confiscating $20B in company assets without even the hint of that thing we call “due” process” is the kind of liberation you speak of?

  9. Ben

    The politics of the writer of this site are so transparent… if this was some big time Republican he would have said, “Who would believe a politician would be a sexual predator!?” with his usual sarcasm. But because he is a lefty politician, of course the story is bullshit. How many times does he take sex scandals and side with the accused?

    Stupid

    • jim x

      Don’t let this site’s treatment of John Edwards mess up the great conspiracy tale you’ve got going.

      • AtomicCoffee

        I just looked up John Edwards in the sites archives. The only mention of the scandal was that Edward’s baby-mama was lying whore.

        Hippie Conspiracy intact!

    • Deacon Jones

      Correction Ben,

      It would probably (and fittingly) be more along the lines of

      “WHO WOULD BELIEVE A REPUBLICAN WOULD MOLEST A MALE INTERN?!”

    • Oilman

      If he was a Republican, it would have been far freakier.

  10. He was helping her to reduce her carbon footprint by filling the void between her legs with his green thumb.

  11. AtomicCoffee

    I don’t care what your politics are. Al Gore is a really weird guy.

  12. Neen

    MASSAGE THERAPIST.

  13. bar room hero

    Slick Willie’s protege….

  14. huh?

    Phony asshole. Must have been checking her globes for warming.

  15. havoc

    Its okay. He invented the internet…..

    .

  16. Tim
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d bang Tipper, I’ll bet she looks hot in the buff…

  17. soupmanson

    Bush’s fault
    or
    She refused to buy some carbon credits..
    or…. that’s all I got.

    • or

      He looked at Tipper and went, I can do better than this. I’ll start by hitting on the 2 legged one’s and, if that doesn’t work out, I’ll try a few four legged ones.

  18. mitchhaase.wordpress.com

    Isn’t that was massage parlors are for? I mean shit, if you can’t sexually assault the masseuse what kind of country is this.

    Of course, we don’t know what Al Gore’s meaning of sexual assault is. What we do know is that his global warming scam is the biggest fraud in history that has netted him a billion dollars since he left office.

    I’m going to pull up a photo of Al Gore and start jerking off to Al Humping the leg of a masseuse and generate a little global warming of my own. Bow chicka bow wow!

    Later,

    Mitch

  19. There is no Roughstitute

    You know why she didn’t file any charges right? Here’s a reference more or less of what probably occurred or not…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc65NC44dSk

  20. If he were a Republican

    If Gore were a Republican, the newspaper in Oregon would not have chosen to sweep this under the rug in 2006. True or not, it would have been front page news and the woman would have been treated as a hero/victim by the media.

    Honestly, if this were Dick Cheney being accused of sexual assault, does anyone think that a newspaper would have chosen to NOT report on it?

    Before you all get your panties in a twist over this, note that I’m NOT saying that’s she’s necessarily telling the truth here – I’m just pointing out the difference in how the media treat stories which reflect poorly on politicians.

    BTW, look for the media to do some serious investigating – - into the woman’s background. This is what they do when someone makes an accusation against a Democrat. They look into the accusers background and not into whether or not the accusations might be true. And the accuser will always be found wanting. If this story shows any signs of having staying power, this is what will happen. Trust.

  21. Franksinatrastein
    Commented on this photo:

    Evidently he thought she wanted her globes warmed.

  22. Huang Dang Doo

    Just another attempt to smear one of the greatest men to ever live.
    Success always brings out enemies.
    Thank you Mr. Gore for all that you have done to help save humanity!
    Very few people believe this and it will be all gone by next week.

  23. jobie

    i think that this entire story is bullshit and people like that girl need to stop harassing politicians. the glint of a little money in thier eyes drives them to create completely false stories and it may seem like a good idea at the time, but Al Gore is one of the only politicians in this country that even deserves a title and stupid whore-bags need to leave him the eff alone!

    • Ted Kennedy's tumor

      Come to Nashville and see how big tubby’s “carbon footprint” of a mansion is! He makes MILLIONS off of so called Global Warming yet you don’t see him living a “greener life”. Good thing he invented the internet. He can use it to find another wife.
      Tipper was the founder of The Parents Music Resource Center that wanted to censor music. You can thank her for those stickers on CD’s (if anyone buys those anymore). Educate yourself jobie. Don’t just suck on Al’s hot air.

    • ZigZagZoey

      I think politicians should stop harassing us.

  24. Bunny

    “groped me, grabbed me, engulfed me in embrace, tongue kissed me, massaged me [and] grabbed my breasts.”

    Sounds like a good time to me… what the fuck is this whore complaining about?

    • Peanutty

      Wait, He went in for a massage and gave the masseuse a massage? That is so compassionate on his part. He really is one of the good guys.

  25. Jeff

    No charges were dropped over evidence at all, the woman stopped cooperating with the investigation because she was seeking a “civil” remedy, which basically means Al Gore paid her off. Sickening to be covering for a lech like Gore superficial writer.

    • Oilman

      You’re jumping to conclusions without knowing all the facts. Charges were not filed because the police determined there was not enough sufficient evidence.

  26. kayneisgay

    Dana Carvey says Big Gay Al is a fag !

  27. obama sucks

    How were the police supposed to find evidence, you dumbass? So you allege that she filed the police report in 2006 and waited four years in order to sell the story to the Enquirer in 2010?

    • Oilman

      Never heard of DNA and fingerprints? Assuming she was fully dressed, there would be his DNA and fingerprints/palm impressions on her clothes. Oh, and she didn’t wait 4 years. She originally accused him in 2006, but supposedly refused to cooperate with the police. The next year, her attorney was quoted as saying she wanted to sue in civil court, but apparently didn’t.

  28. Insatiable Peter
    Commented on this photo:

    It would boost his credibility to cop a funbag. The garbage he spews from his environmental pulpit while consuming vast quantities of energy for his mansions and jet fuel as he travels the globe has made him look queer. Buying a home near the ocean when it’s supposed to rise makes him a walking asshole.

  29. Ebbie

    Seriously, I suspect this came out now because Tipper’s attorneys have P.I.s digging up stuff for the divorce.

    As for selling it for a million dollars… from what I understand, the Enquirer didn’t pay her a cent.

    No one knows if a payment occurred, or if the woman simply sent her attorney off to check into a civil suit, then decided it wasn’t worth the fuss. A LOT of people don’t follow through with lawsuits, the amount of effort is somewhat daunting.

  30. captain america

    pssssst: 99.6 percent of american men have SEX-PROBLEMS.
    ………….can’t help it.

  31. slut killa

    I do not care for Al Gore but this story is ridiculous. Of course some stupid whore is going to come out with this nonsense and try to tie it in with his divorce. The only men that agree to a marriage these days are the weak and spineless ones. There is just not one advantage to doing it if you are a halfway decent looking man. You will always have options unmarried, so why handcuff yourself to a person who will try to control your life and get ugly and fat in the process?

  32. frankie

    Yah, but he created the internet!

  33. Nik

    If this happened in 2006, there were so many better time to bring this up over the past 4 years. However, if it IS true, that could have been a factor behind the Gore divorce…hmmm.

  34. Wiley

    How damn long was she locked in the room with him. Did he have a gun and tie her up? I was expecting the article to end with her getting pregnant and giving birth to his love child while she massaged him. I’m betting he just didn’t tip her well after getting a “happy ending” to his massage.

  35. ahs

    That Angelina Jolie ad that follows really really really really really really really sucks. Get rid of it please. I’

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