Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova launch stuff

March 5th, 2008 // 85 Comments

It’s kind of a slow news day, if you can’t tell by the Matthew McConaughey post. Fortunately, something awesome did get launched by Adriana Lima and Karoline Kurkova last night. That would be the Victoria’s Secret Uplift Biofit bra. I have no idea what it does, but it seems to involve lifting boobs – a time-honored tradition of mine. My father was a breast lifter, as was his father before him and so forth down the line. It’s believed that we belong to the proud lineage of Claudius of Boobistouchia. Claudius is known historically for his devotion to the boob until he died tragically giving Cleopatra a Purple Nurple.

superficial

  1. commish

    Where the hell, hell, hell did some you come from? Are you Victoria’s Secret call center employees?

  2. BunnyButt

    Since we’ve got a post about John Heder’s separated-at-birth twin (Karolina Kurkova), I just thought I’d toss in a mention about someone who looks like Tom Cruise’s and John’s/Karolina’s love child, the male host of the HGTV show Desperate Spaces. I watched the show twice, can’t watch anymore because the Cruise-Heder combo is too, too weird. Of course, his badly dressed, fake perky, Lisa-Rinna-before-lip-collagen-injections-look-alike, jazz hand flashing cohost is a bit annoying, so maybe that’s why the show is so unwatchable…

  3. Their bodies suck

    Adriana Lima is pretty, Karolina Kurkova is not, she looks like a mantis or like a horse. Their bodies suck though. Terrible and flat asses is what they have. Curvless manly-shaped sticks. Adriana’s face may be pretty, but she needs another body. Karolina however, doesn’t have the face and doesn’t have the body. Nothing.

  4. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    What’s with all the tall women bashing? Are you all too much of midgets to handle one? Or is it because you’ve been turned down too many times by a model for having a tiny dick proportionate to your tiny bodies?
    I don’t see how guys over 6 feet tall would rather prefer to fuck around with girls that are under 5 feet. Is that really attractive? It’s like going out with a 12 year old girl with an older face. Is it comfortable to hug her when you bend almost in half? Hmmm…yes, very much. Stupid.

  5. Don't like

    The brunnette is cute but the blonde is UGLY. They both have a serious case of flat ass though. Terrible bodies.

  6. They seem average

    Seeing them dressed like normal people and not sluttied up and glamed up to the max, and even not incredibly airbrushed and photoshoped like we usually see them, they look very, very average, even surrounded by bras and underwear in slutty suggestive poses.
    They look like two normal chicks you’d see at the mall. The blonde is definitely ugly as sin, like so many others, nothing you’d ever glance twice at, the brunnette has a pretty face, you may look at her twice or you may even not notice her, but nothing hot (or hot enough to catch your attention) and nothing to gawk at.
    They just are very average chicks after all.

  7. Randal

    Breath Taking!

  8. Single tall hot girls please feel free contact me! Any guys on here who are bashing you are probably midgets themselves!

  9. You People are Crazy

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That being said there are certain people who are esthetically more pleasing to a greater majority and those people are generally referred to as “beautiful”. Taste is relative, but to say these two girls are “ugly” or “average” looking is ridiculous… regardless of your personal preferences.

  10. moobs

    They look dumb as a bag of rocks.

    But hey, who cares about the mind right?

  11. rainman

    #56

    Are you surprised that they’re actually real people with flaws? Even supermodels venture into a mall on occasion so yea, you might see one there. But they’re definitely not getting paid millions a year by being average. Your average girl couldn’t look this good on the runway if her life depended on it:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ugH8tCcDDgA

    Obviously they’re going look more average in jeans and a black t-shirt. And they’re getting older too. I think Adriana is 27 now. Karolina to my knowledge is a bit younger.

  12. k

    #23. That was absolutely beautiful. if you wrote that you are incredibly talented! PEACE.

    #50. Girls come in all shapes and sizes and all of them are beautiful and special in their own way. Tall girls aren’t any better than short girls and vice versa. I’m sure your absolutely lovely.

    The thing is, and this goes for anyone with simmilar comments, you can’t take what people say here too seriously. Sure a lot of it is horribly offensive but, people are just coming here to vent and make fun of some of the most spoiled and overprivelledged people on the planet. This site is The Superficial and no coincidence people are going to be very superficial here. Many of them may be really nice and down to earth and non judgemental but, they let out all their frustration here and some of them may just be total dicks and bitches. Anyway this site is a good way to build a thick skin and really learn that it just doesn’t matter what people think because there is always something mean and nasty people can say about a person and almost all people even the nice ones talk some mean and nasty shit behind people back’s. This basically just shows the nastiest immediate superficial reactions people have and ya sometimes people take it too far.

    It’s funny that often the same people who laugh at a Lindsay Lohan joke will get upset when people make jokes or rude comments that can actually be related back to them. If you can laugh at it or dish it out than you need to learn to take it. The things people say here may not be nice but, this isn’t a nice site , it’s a bitter, black, humour, crankypants site.

  13. aleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex

    #62 ta very much and all, lol… i know this is an evil site, that is why i use it for the extreme pleasure of procrastinating when i should be attempting to actually get this sodding degree im supposedly studying for… i still dont like #21 tho!!!

  14. Nope

    Sorry rainman, but I’ve seen girls much prettier and definitely much hotter with way nicer bodies than these 2 at shopping malls, and no, I don’t think they were models, but I’m sure with all the professional makeup, stylists and all the effort of professionals trying their hardest to make her look hot on the runway on that video, they’d look at least as good. And BTW, Adriana is a pretty girl, but the other, my goodness, is UGLY. There’s no way anyone is telling me she’s not ugly because she’s a model, I don’t give a fuck, she is UGLY as shit and I have eyes, thank you, and you aren’t gona convince me that ugly broad is not ugly. That being said, Adriana may have a pretty face, but her body is disgusting, unless curveless skeletons turn you on.

  15. catska

    You all are CRAZY!!! I´m a pretty girl and I can admit when I see another pretty girl. These girls aren´t pretty though, they are BEAUTIFUL!!!

  16. b2obifu

    She is cute.. I have seen her photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named ” Searching Millionaire dot com”.. Many men winked at her there.

  17. The blonde is fucking UGLY

    My goodness, how can anyone say the blonde chick is NOT ugly? Please! Just look at her:
    http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/03/Victorias%20Secret%20Biofit/gallery_main/gallery_main-0305_victorias_secret_biofit_06.jpg

    She is UGLY as shit man!

  18. commish

    #62

    You’re joking, right? About the “absolutely beautiful” 38 year old song? They posted as “Ray Stevens”, dumbass.

    Slap yourself.

  19. rainman

    #64

    I don’t like Karolina’s face either but her body is far from average. I know girls that would give their right arm for a body like this:

    http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,854481,00.jpg

    And that’s the truth.

  20. WopBobbaloobop

    HAHAHA WTF @

    #26 are you serious? if so that’s fukkn hilarious.
    # 28 “proud of that pancake ass”
    #46 “cooter punch” hahahaha….i wanna see that.

    im not gonna lie.
    adriana is a banger… when she tries.
    but karolina needs to get that fukked up grill fixed pronto.

  21. ME

    Sara #8- You are probably ugly, and saying they are so you can feel better. I will cheer for you when you get a Victoria’s Secret modeling contract. Until then, shut up.

  22. Tyler

    Her ass doesn’t look flat here:

    http://www.sunglasses-shop.co.uk/celebritysunglasses/photos/enlarge/Karolina-Kurkova.jpg

    Not every woman can have a ghetto booty like Kim Kardashian.

  23. nice girls.!It would be interesting to know what type of work people do that post on this site. But we would not get honest answers anyway.

  24. aleeex

    im a uni student in scotland – so i guess that means im a procrastinating alcoholic…………..

  25. my comment

    That fake ‘shhhhhhh’ A.L. does with her finger in photo 4 is retarded.

    Is it because Victoria’s Secret is a … uh… secret?

    Someone slap her.

  26. my comment

    #22. The official term for flab hanging over low-rise jeans is ‘Muffin Top’.

    Like the way the top of a muffin pops over the sides.

  27. lisa

    She is so gorgeous. But I am very cucious. Why did she post her profile on a celebrities and wealthy website named
    “wealthydater. com”.. What is she looking for there?

  28. #72 – Doesn’t look flat there? Ooooookaaaaaaaaay… Dude (I’m assuming, since you use a suspiciously androgynous name) I’ll give you Kate Hudson or Jessica Biel as having an ass, but Annie Rex Seeya there needs ass-plants. Let’s just blame it on the jeans, shall we?

  29. commish

    Rich, to be fair, her waistband is high enough to qualify her pants as a strapless jumpsuit and the pockets are big enough to hold two 32 inch plasma tvs.

  30. Jerremy

    They are so beautiful.I saw them on “SeekingRich.com”.

  31. Commish, then she should stick an ass in her pockets.

  32. Posh918

    Wow….some ppl on this post are Green with envy. Jealousy is the poison of the soul. These girls are physically very attractive. There is enough negativity in this world……peace

  33. Posh918

    Wow….some ppl on this post are Green with envy. Jealousy is the poiso of the soul. These girls are physically very attractive. There is enough negativity in this world……peace

  34. Chelsea

    come on whats with you guys? these two girls are gorgeous, especially adri. i would KILL to look like any one of these two.

  35. Francesca

    What does VS have against nose jobs? Couldn’t Giselle and Karolina get some sort of group discount?

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