Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova launch stuff

March 5th, 2008 // 85 Comments

It’s kind of a slow news day, if you can’t tell by the Matthew McConaughey post. Fortunately, something awesome did get launched by Adriana Lima and Karoline Kurkova last night. That would be the Victoria’s Secret Uplift Biofit bra. I have no idea what it does, but it seems to involve lifting boobs – a time-honored tradition of mine. My father was a breast lifter, as was his father before him and so forth down the line. It’s believed that we belong to the proud lineage of Claudius of Boobistouchia. Claudius is known historically for his devotion to the boob until he died tragically giving Cleopatra a Purple Nurple.

superficial

  1. veggi

    Nice mom pants.

  2. Dr. Nappy

    Wow… A. L. is so pretty.

  3. The Veggi Whore

    You know what’s interesting about this?

    silence…

    did you guys here that Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with cancer and they say he has 5 weeks to live..

  4. Lana

    So, that’s why they always look so Chesty La Roo-like. They get a little help on the side. Handy.

  5. niles

    Wow! What a pair of ass’s.

    Nobody puts baby in the corner!!!!

  6. ole ole ole ole.. ohle .. ohle

  7. Lima Peru

    Jeez…that chick is a fucking snaggletooth. I thought Lima was attractive, but I was wrong.

  8. Sara

    These two are so common looking and I dare say even slightly ugly. Their bodies are hot but most people have nice bodies. Why do these foreign sluts constantly hawk our airwaves and magazines?

  9. The Veggi Whore

    I carried a watermelon..

  10. Kingsley Amis

    Sorry to point out a factual error, but Cleopatra was dead by the time Claudius was alive. That said, I sure do love boobies.

  11. David

    I love her smiley face. Looks cute! Anyone saw her hot albums and videos at the celeb site millionairecupid.com? Hot ans attractive girl.

  12. Kingsley Amis

    Sorry to point out a factual error, but Cleopatra was dead for 20 years by the time Claudius was alive. That said, I sure do love boobies.

  13. edamame

    Fugly jeans, Karolina.
    Next thing you know, she’ll be jammin’ to Xanadu and rollerskating down the runway.

  14. panties

    I sure hope they got the matching pretty pink panties…………..

  15. Dee

    I have never heard of these females before, but they have cute shapes and behinds for their body types. I am going to check out the VS Uplift Biofit bra because I like to show cleavage; a little at work and a lot when I am not at work.

  16. Sammy

    They know how to wear jeans to flatter their body types. Notice how the blonde wears a jean cut high at the waist (she has a bigger bottom) while the other wears a low rise jean cut.

  17. Mom Jeans

    Give her something that says: “I’m not a woman anymore. I’m a MOM. Put on your mom jeans…..”

  18. Veggi, if they completely bring back those shitty high waisted jeans I swear to god I will start dressing naked!!

    There’s a threat they won’t forget..

  19. I want to see

    Please show us Dee…………………..

  20. whatever

    They just launched something…in my pants!

  21. How many kids will Brit end up having?

    Meh these chicks are looking average at BEST. I just went to the hospital (I have terminal fucking hotness disease) and I saw four girls who looked just like these two boring skanks. The thing with these stupid ass supermodels is that they are tall. That’s it; they’re tall and slimish, that’s what sets them apart from other hot girls. Blondie has a fucking beak nose that would have stopped her career flat if she weren’t so effin tall and Adriana there is pretty frickin’ average looking. Many pretty brunettes at my highschool and susequent jobs looked as good or better and had tighter boddies.

    The fact is that modeling agencies, by skipping out on all girl under 5″7″, are missing out on some of the most equisite faces and stunning bodies out there. The girl I knew who had the most stunning legs and physique and looked amazing in anything (and nothing) was only 5’5″. It’s just such a stupid requirement. In photos if a girl is lean and proportioned you can’t even tell how tall she is. As a guy who is very tall I gotta say I find women of average hieght far more attractive than these man tall amazonian bitches. Get up close to one of these chicks and you’ll feel like your up against a dude with a wig.

    If you love these chicks figures just remeber that the perkey round full boobs are all in the bra and when a chick is that tall her feet are usually freakish.

  22. Terry

    #18

    Oh please America bring back those high waisted jeans. Overweight female Americans look horrible in low rise jeans and it does not help that the flab hangs over while wearing tight tops. High waisted jeans can pack in more flab and give fat female Americans a more flattering look.

  23. Ray Stevens

    #21

    Everything is beautiful in its own way
    Like a starry summer night
    Or a snow-covered winter’s day
    And everybody’s beautiful, in their own way
    Under God’s Heaven
    The world’s gonna find a way

    There is none so blind
    As he who will not see
    We must not close our minds
    We must let our thoughts be free

    For every hour that passes by
    You know the world gets a little bit older
    It’s time to realize that beauty lies
    In the eyes of the beholder

    We shouldn’t care ’bout the length of his hair
    Or the color of his skin
    Don’t worry about what shows from without
    But the love that lives within

    We’re gonna get it all together, now
    Everything gonna work out fine
    Just take a little time to look on the good side, my friend
    And straighten it out in your mind

  24. Stacy

    #21

    I love tall men!

  25. I would pay my wages for a month just to sniff one fart from Adriana Lima

  26. Pleasantly Plump in All the Right Places

    I hope the high waisted jeans come back because I wear them so tight that it holds everything in like a girdle. I remember the first time my husband saw me in the nude, he was surprised to see how much bigger I really was lol! But he had already bonded with me so it did not matter at that point.

  27. dude_on_a_wire

    On any given day two VS models showing off a new version of a support bra would be an automatic stiffy to the nTH power scenario. Unfortunately the t-shirts do not allow for full visual arousal.

    The optimum viewpoint for these two teasers would simply be the time honored “touch your toes” angle – that in itself isn’t a bad thing, but this shoot is supposed to be about a bra.*Had they lip-locked… then this or any other opinion would be completely unnecessary.

  28. I’m sorry… is that mail order skank bride actually PROUD of that pancake ass of hers?

  29. Ted from LA

    Photographer: “I want cutesy and cheesy in every picture.”

  30. Spazz

    WOW.

  31. Ted Mosby

    I just launched a splooge attack in my pants.

  32. shameshame

    Wow, Karolina is so incredibly ugly, it makes me wonder how someone that fucking ugly can be so smiley all the fucking time, it’s horrendous, and disturbing.
    Who hired this skank?

  33. Tyler

    I am so amazed at the comments on this site. These girls are both hot and have better bodies than 99% of the women walking down the street in America. You people that criticize everything need to get a life. You are the types that would bitch about the taxes if you won the powerball lottery.

    Cause Effect
    Big fake tits = Her tits are so fake!!
    Big natural tits = Her tits are so saggy
    Dark tan = She is gonna get cancer
    Pale skin = She needs to get a tan
    Blonde hair = She looked better as a brunette or redhead
    Brunette = She looks better as a blonde
    Skinny body = She needs to eat something
    Curvy body = She is a whale and needs to put down the Cheetos

  34. steve

    #26 – that story belongs in the dictionary under “(ant.)Hitting the Jackpot”

  35. Wait, these 2 are only Super Models because they are tall (#21)? LOL, ok. Seriously, while these 2 might not be your favorite models to imply that they look freakish is a bit much!

    As a tall guy myself, I like tall AND short women.

  36. amma

    These chicks are certainly not ugly {though those high waisted jeans are: note–high waisted jeans only look good REALLY tight, tucked into boots and a turtle neck over that. Okay? Okay.}.
    That being said, I agree, the problem with super models these days is that they have only one thing going for them: Height. I live in a major urban area and the women here tend to take care of themselves from the ladies who lunch types on down to the cashier at the grocery store. And there are some beauties. I shouldn’t see chicks at the bus stop who are as hot as or hotter than super models. Should I? All these chicks have is height. There need to be other requirements.

  37. Tyler

    I forgot to add my favorite:

    If the girl actually looks good in the photos = what a photoshop job!!!!

  38. Stevie

    #33

    I think part of the reason is because people are stuck in an office all day and get stir crazy. It would be interesting to know what type of work people do that post on this site. But we would not get honest answers anyway.

  39. gotmilk?

    Didn’t Fish say a few months ago that the horse-faced blonde one was pregnant?

  40. I think my hands should become a bra..

  41. Keeping it Real

    I am happy to see celebrities on this site that did not get famous for doing porn.

  42. gotmilk?

    wtc is up with her jeans? what is this, the final scene in Grease? fucking hideous, her face & those pants.

  43. Mal Gusto

    I think my penis has whiplash
    **ooh, adrianna Lima*** penis rising….***glances over*** MOM JEANS!!!! spraNG!!
    If I see a chick wearing those jeans Im gonna cooter punch her I swear!!

  44. they may be “mom jeans” but they look better on her than any of those supposed hot chicks you guys keep saying you see on a daily basis at the grocery store!

  45. PostmortemG

    “I would pay my wages for a month just to sniff one fart from Adriana Lima”

    Right. The blonde has a nice rear. =D

  46. Auntie Kryst

    Biofit uplift bras, fucking brilliant! I’ve always been a bit of skeptic, and figured science can’t take bra technology further. You know what? I was wrong, I know that now. We need keep bra research at the forefront.

  47. rainman

    Adriana is hot. Karolina is not.

  48. dumbass VS

    excuse me, isn’t the point of every bra ever made to uplift? this fucking store is a complete rip-off.

  49. I love those jeans that Adriana is wearing. And you all are right, the high waisted jeans are so SO Mom Jeans. Not cute.
    http://slackerchic.blogspot.com/

  50. aleeeex

    #21 – wow thts harsh, im six foot and female with all the good bits, fairly slim, and none of my men think i look like a dude in a wig… i prefer guys dead on six foot or a couple of inches over coz the taller a guy is the clumsier they are in bed!!

    ur still meeeeeeen tho :( ……. i have nice hair, it doesnt look like a wig….. kuh

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