I’ve tackled a lot of serious subjects in the past few months: Rape, pedophilia, burning the Quran, terror mosques, immigration, redneck clown rappers secretly being Christians. But now it’s time to turn our attention to a more dire and pressing matter. Namely glamorizing supermodels like Adriana Lima by allowing them to wear $2 million diamond-encrusted bras so they can perpetuate an unfair stereotype of how women should look, forever skewing men’s perception of them. And it’s, uh, terrible. Just absolutely… terrible. I won’t allow it.
Effective tomorrow. (Throw everyone off a cliff who doesn’t look like this.)
Photos: Splash News