Adrian Grenier wants it to burn when he pees

The Superficial / September 18, 2007
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Adrian Grenier is not ruling out a relationship with Paris Hilton. As of right now, they’re just friends, but according to Adrian, “there’s a world of possibility!” (And gonorrhea. Possibilities and gonorrhea.) Now prepare yourself for a combination of words describing Paris Hilton that will make your face implode. E! Online reports:

“I think she’s absolutely wonderful. I really like her, genuinely. So, there’s that. Just genuine human-to-human appreciation. But she also has a very unique experience that I’m curious about. It’s an experience she’s been intertwined with for many years. Well beyond the many years I’ve had to experience this sort of celebrity situation. So, you know, we’re sort of helping each other out. We’re sort of mutual mentors.”

I see Adrian Grenier act on Entourage. I basically take it for granted that he’s of a mild intelligence and can interact with people unsupervised. But, now, I’m absolutely positive he’s mentally retarded. Paris Hilton as a mentor? Shouldn’t he have a case worker that takes him miniature golfing or something? I don’t pay taxes so this poor sap can get his genitals melted off. Until I see Adrian Grenier performing safer, more monitored activities like eating ice cream or, I dunno, dirt-bike riding without a helmet, the IRS can bite my ass. Which is unbelievably firm, so I hope they have strong teeth.