Adjust your Twitters.
For those of you already following The Superficial on Twitter, or just now realizing I even have one (The tits are distracting, I know.), consider this the official launch after months of me dicking around with a temporary account until Twitter finally made with the goods:
Because You’re Ugly and Can Only Read 140 Characters at a Time
Look for such amusing insights as what kind of sandwich I’m eating and how many exclamation points I can use when my sports team of choice performs well. It’s really going to be that awesome.