The Adele Sex Tape Is Fake, Surprisingly A Thing People Wanted To Look At

After dominating the Grammys, Adele got to enjoy her increased celebrity status this week by being the target of a sex tape rumor that’s prompted her to sue the shit out of France (She would’ve sent Liam Neeson based on his real life experiences punching France’s dick in to find his kidnapped daughter, but he’s all, “Where’s your burqa?” this and “I shall elbow you infidels!” that.) and anyone who publishes photos claiming they’re from said tape. The Daily Mail reports:

Adele is set to sue a French magazine after it published fake photos it claimed came from a sex tape starring the award-winning star.
Adele’s lawyers Schillings is now launching legal action against the French publication, which claims to have more than three million readers each week.
A statement sent to MailOnline said: ‘We are informed that the French magazine Public has today published images which it claims show our client in a sex tape.
‘Our client has not appeared in a sex tape as claimed in the article. Our client does not appear in the photographs.
‘Such claims are untrue and grossly defamatory. Our client is taking legal action in relation to this matter.’

Granted, I was just joking in the headline, to anyone thinking of saying, “Who the hell would watch Adele have sex?” you would. You’d watch it. And how do I know? You’re on the Internet. This is exactly why it was invented in the first place, and I’ll battle every last one of you cat photo heretics to the death if you try to say otherwise. You’re an abomination, you hear me?! AN ABOMINATION!

Photos: Getty, INFdaily

Tags: Adele, Sex Tape