The Adele Sex Tape Is Fake, Surprisingly A Thing People Wanted To Look At

February 17th, 2012 // 61 Comments
Adele Looks Different
Adele Vogue
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After dominating the Grammys, Adele got to enjoy her increased celebrity status this week by being the target of a sex tape rumor that’s prompted her to sue the shit out of France (She would’ve sent Liam Neeson based on his real life experiences punching France’s dick in to find his kidnapped daughter, but he’s all, “Where’s your burqa?” this and “I shall elbow you infidels!” that.) and anyone who publishes photos claiming they’re from said tape. The Daily Mail reports:

Adele is set to sue a French magazine after it published fake photos it claimed came from a sex tape starring the award-winning star.
….
Adele’s lawyers Schillings is now launching legal action against the French publication, which claims to have more than three million readers each week.
A statement sent to MailOnline said: ‘We are informed that the French magazine Public has today published images which it claims show our client in a sex tape.
‘Our client has not appeared in a sex tape as claimed in the article. Our client does not appear in the photographs.
‘Such claims are untrue and grossly defamatory. Our client is taking legal action in relation to this matter.’

Granted, I was just joking in the headline, to anyone thinking of saying, “Who the hell would watch Adele have sex?” you would. You’d watch it. And how do I know? You’re on the Internet. This is exactly why it was invented in the first place, and I’ll battle every last one of you cat photo heretics to the death if you try to say otherwise. You’re an abomination, you hear me?! AN ABOMINATION!

Photos: Getty, INFdaily

superficial

  1. It wasn’t really a sex tape, she was just eating some cake.

  2. There’s something about her.

  3. Lunch

    Dude, you’re getting Adele.

  4. Cock Dr

    She may be big but she’s got a great face and I’m sure there would be plenty of people who would love to see those tits and lips wrapped around a big stiff one.
    Shame on those frogs posting fake shit. The SW would never sink to that level……would it?

  5. stacy

    Why would anyone want to watch that thing get nailed? Its bad enough people think she can sing.

    • Ugh, there are some people who would watch her get nailed. I’m not a full-figured women kind of guy so I’m not one of them. Additionally, I’ve never heard her sing and really don’t care if I ever do.

      • decalex

        @Feltch You’ve definitely heard her sing, and by denying it, that means you wept when you did. It’s ok.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        “Additionally, I’ve never heard her sing and really don’t care if I ever do.”
        That’s weird. Are you jealous of everyone who can sing, or something? Do you have an aversion to all music? What if her singing was so beautiful that it changed your life or melted your heart? Surely you’d be curious to know.

    • Candy

      i bet you’re one of those people who think taylor swift can sing huh?

  6. Josh

    adele is hot. she has dsl’s and plenty to hold on to.

  7. Am I the only one that thinks she looks like Marla Hooch from A League of Their Own?

  8. the snowman

    you have no idea how many things there are fake concerning celebrities.

  9. Jessesgirl

    Not traditionally pretty but she’s much better looking than Gaga at least.

  10. Yuuuuup

    Be interested to see the results of the lawsuit. French courts are not at all like English Common Law based-courts (English, American, Canadian, and Australian) courts, especially regarding defamation/libel.

    • …If these pictures turn out to be real Adele won’t be the only one suing.

      I’m thinking CLASS ACTION lawsuit from the millions of people who will lose their eyesight–the suicides—the dogs, cats and ducks, that will run out into on coming traffic—the apocalypse.

      Some really SERIOUS shit nude pictures of chick could trigger.

  11. Alex

    http://motherless.com/B52E7C6 This is the video they’re purportedly leaking, if you’ve seen articles with screenshots. It’s very clearly not her.

    • decalex

      no no no no NO.
      Just based on the screen cap.. definitely not going to push that play button.
      Right?
      Ya, definitely not.
      I’ve seen less chins in china town.
      Because Chin is a popular chinese surname. Facts don’t lie.

    • The gal in the tape does look a bit like Adele. I can see where someone who is not very familiar with her could mistakenly think she is the real thing.

  12. judging you

    People are into different things and Vern Troyer had a sex tape people watched so clearly there’s a significant number of people that just get off on watching weird lo quality sex tapes.

  13. Adele Sex Tape
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d watch her sex tape. and I’d rub out to it. I am what the Internet has made me.

  14. Rico Jones

    She is already bitching that Vogue magazine airbrushed her photos. If Adele doesn’t want to be airbrushed she can stop posing for magazines. Vogue should never work with her again.

    • Yes, because clearly the issue is with the people being photographed, not the fact that the fashion magazine industry photoshops the fuck out of every photo they print without permission just to boost sales.

    • Nada

      Hello,I agree with your assessadment of Adele. I’ll add that when I heard her sing “We could have had it all.…” for the first time, I was taken back to a time when women sregnis DID sing with their gut, heart, mind, soul, brain, power, with everyadthing. I won’t say that Adele knocked me off of the bar stool, Like Janis did when I heard “Piece of My Heart,” but Adele’s voice touches a place in my memadory banks and curadrent affairs that few sregnis today can hope to reach.. I am lookading foradward to hearading more froma0Adele.…Great review!  — 

  15. Name

    Yeah, I’d watch it.

  16. I’ll admit it. I’d coat her ailing throat.

  17. Joe Blow

    I like my women thick.

  18. Adele Sex Tape
    Commented on this photo:

    Those lashes are ridiculous.

  19. barf von barfgasm

    might be fun if she sang during the bang.

  20. Disco Dave

    I’m starting to think make up artists are the most talented people in the world.

    You see her sans makeup and nobody would want to hit it. She’s no classical beauty.

    If you’re turned on by her talent, cool…but looks alone, eh.

  21. Dank

    Not only is a Adele a fat annoying ugly monster of a woman, she’s overrated as fuck! There’s millions of girls and women on Youtube that can sing circles around this fat bitch. I’m not a chubby chaser so no way in hell would i watch that tape. I’d almost rather watch Khloe K get nailed. Almost.

    • What, exactly, did Adele do to you? I know…you asked her to the prom and she turned you down in favor of the class nerd. Your attack is incredibly vitriolic and, I’ll wager, totally unfounded.

      Regardless of the parts of her character that annoy you, there is no way she can be nearly as big of an asshole as you are.

      I hope your throat catches on fire so I can refuse to piss in your mouth!

  22. pretty vacant

    is this like- “food porn” we’re talking about here?

  23. Adele Sex Tape
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck her so hard that her moans would win grammys.

  24. XYZ

    The woman in the vid is not ADELE, u, gullible and retard morons!

  25. The woman in the vid is not ADELE
    the movie in to XHamster porno s
    name: Daddy’s little girl during lunch hour

  26. Oh I would.
    I would watch the shit outta that thing if it were real, and I’m not ashamed. In fact, I’m not even embarrased by the fact that I’ll be looking it up right now even though I know it’s fake, and thank you Barbie Bar btw.

  27. Adele Sex Tape
    NOI
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d watch it too
    She’s classy

  28. Terry

    Overrated whale.
    Remember Norah Jones and her big ass album that got her 8 fucking Grammy’s? Yeah, me neither.

  29. Mrs Doubtfire is that you?

  30. Feral b

    “Lately I’ve Ben thinking about food,
    Don’t underestimate the things that I will chew”

    -excerpt from ‘Rolling in the Cheese’.

  31. attentive

    I think she’s a witch. Her aura and claw fingernails are creepy.

  32. Dbert

    “A ham and cheese croissant? Just for shagging this chap? That’s it? Can’t see how I’ll ever regret this bargain.”

  33. boingo

    maybe they filmed a redneck fucking a pig..

  34. Pay attention, Asshole. The whole point of the article — and the following comments — is that the video in question is NOT Adele.

    You’ve got a lot of fucking gall calling other people names. Not only are you unable to grasp what you’re reading, but you are unable to spell and construct a sentence properly.

    You irritate me. Go away!

  35. Rob

    It’s fake. There were no bags of flour present to aide the man in finding her love hole.

  36. Adele Sex Tape
    kingofbeer
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fun and greedy, I’d hit it! and I bet she sucks a mean dick! haha

  37. CardinalFang

    She’s the one who sings that Indian sounding song right? Oh, women love her! “You go girl!” Translated: Fat women are people too (or is it people2). Wait til she drops a bunch a weight. She won’t be the feminists “go” girl any more.

  38. Brad

    I don’t get why you guys are talking about her being fat and ugly, for once, a talented person doesn’t use their body to sell records. Clearly Adele is a talented singer, and dresses tastefully and classically. She’s a wonderful singer and a better role model and public figure then 90% of the rest of the entertainment industry.

    -Musician and all genre music fan.

  39. Adele Sex Tape
    Iva
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny, I don’t recall ever istatng you can’t judge based on record sales. My records sales comment wasn’t about that at all. My suggestion to you is have someone read and explain my post (slowly) to you perhaps then the flickering light bulb in your head MIGHT stay lit. Otherwise, I’ll just take you as yet another troll I’ve given way too much attention to.

  40. jayjay

    Adele is set to sue a French magazine after it published fake photos it claimed came from a sex tape starring the award-winning star. i would hire the person in the video as a body double then cos that is a 1st class spitting image

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