Adele Really Has Been Pregnant This Whole Time

July 10th, 2012 // 28 Comments
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When news broke two weeks ago that Adele is pregnant, the cheap and easy joke was, “Wait, you mean she wasn’t this whole time?” which lazy dicks such as myself immediately jumped at. Except it turns out that part of being a lazy dick involves INCREDIBLE PSYCHIC POWERS because Adele is already seven months pregnant, making her two months pregnant the last time she appeared on the site. HuffPost Celebrity UK reports:

The singer – who announced she was expecting her first child earlier this month – is rumoured to be seven months gone, and has kept it a secret by hiding her bump under baggy clothing, as she did at the Ivor Novello awards.
A source spilled all to Heat magazine, telling them: “Adele has barely left the house in recent months, so she could keep this to herself as long as possible.”

Now, if you think is suddenly going to make me kick any and all forms of restraint in the dick and start accusing even more celebrities with the slightest of guts of being pregnant, you’re goddamn right it is. Hayden Panettiere.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. fanamana

    And Jessica Simpson was fatter than her the whole time. And she was pregnant for 19 years.

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    She looks like the kind of big girl that would give you the best blowjob of your life that you’ll never tell anyone about. Except she’s Adele, so you probably would tell somebody it happened.

    • Rico Jones

      I would definitely let Adele suck me off and I would tell everyone. I always thought she was pretty. My biggest problem is her awful choice is fashion. Very old school. Almost as if she is trying to be a characterture of the 50′s/60′s. It is not attractive.

  3. Abby Normal

    I suppose she couldn’t keep up the charade after somebody noticed all sixteen of her nipples were engorged.

  4. Niki

    Welcome to the end of her career, as suddenly all albums are about the beauty of children and babies. Sinead O’Connor, I’m looking at you.

  5. flimflam

    At least half of her fans are fat girls thinking she proves fat woman can be talented and attractive. She doesn’t. My prediction is her career will explode when she’s flabbier after the pregnancy. Fat girls cling to famous fat women like its a gallon of ice cream. That’s right, I said it, a GALLON.

    • SeeAlice

      It’s kind of like the womens movement . It allowed ugly women into the maintream .

    • assaasda

      I like some of her songs and that’s where it ends. The first times I heard her I thought she was a black singer. (not that there’s anything wrong with that). turns out she’s just some white lazy POS fatty.

      have a twinkie adele.

      Is she fat or is she pregnant, who knows.. it’s adele!

  6. Lord Invader

    Remember, kids, wear the proper safety protection even when riding a moped.

  7. Adele Brit Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    So Adele has been rocking a 18 month pregnancy? What is she, an elephant? I ask not because elephants have long gestations, but because Adele is fat.

  8. Anonymous

    I have no issues with her being a little thick; I just wonder why she looks like she pushing 40 at 24.

  9. Blubbo The Clown

    I’m so sick and tired of hearing this irritating cunt’s “music” blasted from every radio I happen to be passing. Especially that stupid fat-chick stalker song she bleats out.

    The funny thing is she looks EXACTLY like the annoying bitch that Roy ends up having dinner with in the “Friendface” episode of The IT Crowd. You know the one. I bet this fat bitch looks exactly like “the Joker” when she moos out that stupid chick stalker song the radios refuse to stop playing. MOOOOOOOOOO NEVER GONNA MOOO SOMEONE LIKE MOOOOOOOOOoooooo

  10. Adele

    You mad bro?

  11. Adele Brit Awards
    Commented on this photo:


  12. Binge Wanker

    Fat chicks are the best lays. Always trying (and succeeding) to prove they are better than skinny women.

    • El Jefe



    • assaasda


      You’re a guy you could get yourself off in a garbage disposal. You don’t need the girl to do a damn thing for you. All you need is a woman you’rehighly attracted to.

      Don’t tell me you’re one of those fatty chasers. Oh adele look, chocolate cake? YOURE SO MUCH HOTTER NOW, HAVE SOME VITAMIN D MILK

  13. kimmykimkim

    Great. Now her body is ruined.

  14. In general, larger chicks are out for more enjoyment than denial, and less paranoid about worrying whether they’re fat when they’re naked.

    They are, so there’s no need to worry about it. Makes for WAY better sex.

    Skip the skinny, whiny bitches who will stab you with their hip bones then throw up after swallowing your jizz.

    Go Adele!

    • assaasda

      Sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy of a guy that can’t get any attractive women.

    • Leyla

      Awesome! I am definitely going to check out your mom’s video’s! We try to eat liver farily often and I am slowly learning to like it. Thanks for being part of the carnival!

  15. Congratulations to Adele on her pregnancy. She’s one of my very favourite singers.

    Why is she making a kid so young? I have no fucking idea. Your 20s are for getting as much dick/pussy as you want then you start crapping out the babies in your mid to late 30s.

  16. assaasda

    LOL she didnt hide it under baggy clothing she hid it under 75 pounds of LARD

  17. blahblah

    I always thought she looked thinner now more than ever. lol.

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