Adele Really Has Been Pregnant This Whole Time

When news broke two weeks ago that Adele is pregnant, the cheap and easy joke was, “Wait, you mean she wasn’t this whole time?” which lazy dicks such as myself immediately jumped at. Except it turns out that part of being a lazy dick involves INCREDIBLE PSYCHIC POWERS because Adele is already seven months pregnant, making her two months pregnant the last time she appeared on the site. HuffPost Celebrity UK reports:

The singer – who announced she was expecting her first child earlier this month – is rumoured to be seven months gone, and has kept it a secret by hiding her bump under baggy clothing, as she did at the Ivor Novello awards.
A source spilled all to Heat magazine, telling them: “Adele has barely left the house in recent months, so she could keep this to herself as long as possible.”

Now, if you think is suddenly going to make me kick any and all forms of restraint in the dick and start accusing even more celebrities with the slightest of guts of being pregnant, you’re goddamn right it is. Hayden Panettiere.

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