Adam Sandler Might Be A Talking Raccoon In ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’

“Did someone say *click click* Nudie Magazine Day?”

As part of Marvel’s Phase Two – the movies leading up to The Avengers 2 – along with Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World and Captain America: Winter Soldier, the Guardians Of The Galaxy are getting a movie and apparently one of the characters is a talking raccoon which I had no idea because the trades are out-of-print and mad expensive on Amazon I insert my penis into women’s birth canals until I reach climax. True story. Anyway, that talking raccoon is most likely going to be voiced by Adam Sandler, so we should all probably start pre-ordering tickets now because there’s no way showings aren’t going to fill up faster than your mom. Via Latino Review (h/t Burnsy):

But here is the kicker. Marvel is going after some big comedic actors perhaps for some comedic relief in the movie. Exactly how big?
Marvel is asking for the availability of both Jim Carrey AND Adam Sandler!
For what roles, I’m not sure. Maybe Rocket or Groot? Jim Carrey I can see since he is already playing Colonel Stars & Stripes in Kick Ass 2, but Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) in a Marvel movie?!

Oh, good, Jim Carrey’s going to be a tree man in it, too. For a minute there, I thought this would be a talking space raccoon movie where one of the characters doesn’t creepily try to bang Emma Stone with his branch fingers. It’s all about realism these days. That’s how Christopher Nolan does it.

Photo: Marvel