Adam Levine Did Not Have Sex With Lindsay Lohan’s Vaginarrhea (Too Fancy? You’re Right)
Just like James Franco, Adam Levine found himself on Lindsay Lohan‘s handwritten list of celebrities she’s had sex with that somehow got sold to InTouch for currency that can be exchanged for cocaine. No one’s still quite figured it out. Anyway, just like James Franco again, Adam Levine wants to make it abundantly clear that the list is bullshit and he did not have sex with her. And in his defense, Adam Levine doesn’t suddenly double over screaming, “Begone from my nuts damnable fire of itch and woe!” so we should probably hear him out. Via Starpulse:
Levine was asked about being on the list on Howard Stern’s show, which is rapidly becoming the place to go to talk about Lindsay Lohan’s sex list. Stern told Levine, “By the way, you were on Lindsay Lohan’s sex list – that you had sex with her – I didn’t know this.”
Levine replied, “That’s not true. I did not have sexual intercourse with Lindsay Lohan.” When Stern noted Franco denied the report as well, the singer added, “That’s because I think we’re being truthful about that very specific thing.”
Stern said if no one on the list had sex with her, “Did anybody have sex with Lindsay Lohan?” Adam replied, “A lot of people probably did, I don’t know.”
You know what? Adam Levine gets a lot of shit for being a douche, and rightly so, but at the end of the day that was a pretty sick burn, and at least he didn’t write a short story with interspersing vignettes about Gus Van Sant playing a guitar while he genuflects on the Nicolas Winding Refn-esque work of his latest car commercial. In fact, if anything, that just proves James Franco has syphilis which he probably got from Lindsay Lohan. Take him to the containment chamber!