Amidst all the bikini photos and posts admiring the splendor of Coco, I get a lot of requests for some naked dudes on the site. Although 90% of them seem to come from that guy who writes the Brad Pitt blog that’s entirely about Lindsay. Anyway, here’s Adam Levine posing nude for the latest issue of Cosmopolitan UK because I think all my readers are special. Just for some background, Adam getting naked somehow benefits the Everyman charity which battles various cancers of the penis, but before everyone does what I just did, whipping your clothes off and running through the McDonald’s drive-thru does not have the same effect. Even if you get the McGriddle. I was as shocked as you are.
NOTE: That’s Adam’s girlfriend’s hand holding the goods because I can’t tell you how corrupt the junk-handling union is these days. 50 smoke breaks for every one hour of work? You’re handling penis, folks, not driving a fork-lift. Unless I’m there. (COUNT IT.)
Photos: Cosmopolitan UK
My 18 year old had this on her blog before it was here…
also.. i said GODDAMN!
Your 18 year old daughter? I’m sure he wouldn’t want you, your shit probably hangs so low it’s dragging the ground picking up loose change and small animals.
Cock Dr., you’re a fucking jock loser just waiting for a high five in the halls of your high school.
High Five Brian! Cock Dr i love your name but trolling the comments section of a gossip website was so 5years ago. Go make some friends irl.
On a lighter note, pelvis lines are the shit.
hahahahahaha, you pig!
gotta say as funny and mean as that comment is….there are 40 year olds out there, that shit all over some of the fat, lumpy, super sized, take away, junk food addicted 18 year olds. just hang down the beach, amazing stuff.. and when a chic does look like that at such a tender age, you know it’s all downhill from there. hate to think what she’d look like at 40. people are literally eating themselves to an early death and a quicker ugliness….
Yea, GODDAMN!
HOW UNORIGINAL! Tattoos are so fucking gay and played out.
Just proves theres low class, low self esteemed, unimaginative trailer trash is in every state.
What is “gay” about a tattoo??, or low class, or trailer trash?? … does it make you feel superior, or better about yourself to slime me as a gay man … you homophobic hetero?
This is the best of the year so far…thankz fish!
Who high fives anyone anymore? What grade are YOU TWO in?
Bless you, Fish. Bless you.
+1
OMG!!! THANKS SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN WITHOUT THE COCK IT IS AMAZING!! I FEEL LIKE I CAN SEE IT!!!
Should I thank you for this?
Celebrity male nudity is always appreciated.
That’s a lot of ink. Interesting.
He looks kinda dopey.
I have no other remarks at this time. Thanks Fish.
Give him a crack pipe and you would have Amy Winehouses’ wet dream.
Wish those hands were mine
Why the need for two hands? We all know her pinky finger alone would have been sufficient.
WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWW
Is she eating his ass?
Thank you.. Thank you.
like, where are the arms comin from tho??
Through the wall (or sheet of paper or whatever) behind him
looks like she is crawling out of his ass
This is really bad photo editing.
What a maroon.
+5
OMG the only thing I can beat it to in this pic are those hands….I’m scared my eyes might slip!!
Finally some eye candy for the ladies. I’d love to examine EACH and EVERY one of those tats very closely :)
Wtf!! I just saw the second pic with the hands…lucky bitch..
looks like she is behind him with her face in his ass.
Fuck you
Penis cancer is the worst of the cancers. Please give generously.
I never heard of “penis cancer.” It’s prostate cancer and that’s very different.
We already have a Cock Dr. and the post says penis cancer Richie.
I prefer the first shot. This one looks like girlfriend is probably rimming esophagus.
Now can you post some nude pictures of a straight guy?
I was secretly hoping his junk couldn’t be covered by two small hands
He is SHMOKINNNNN!!!!!!
I wish I was on shlong duty *sad face*
what a fat ass.
very nice! Thanks, tsf!
No, thanks, he is most likely circumcised…eww.
Well this Girly Gurl likes em’ circumcised!! YUMMERZZZ
Go go gadget ass-hands!!!
That chick has to be face deep in his butt
i cant say thats a bad thing :O
yuk
OMFG! This just made my fucking morning. I thought he was gay, but damn that’s one fine ass gay man nonetheless. FUCK!!!!! Thank you!
hes not gay he has a girlfriend
Thank you.
That Hindi tatoo looks so good
The tiger one does, too. I wonder if he can make it jump or sth when flexing his biceps. Now what’s the “222″-tat mean, that he’s only one third evil? :/
Thanks for these, Fish!
maybe this will give HIM cancer; rid the world of that horrific music he makes
Yes, thank you veddy veddy much!
LOL!!!
i LOVE this guy. this is awesome
Awww his junk looks small :( he’s so cute tho.
Dicks grow hands?
so we finally get to see the hands that has been squeezing his balls all through his singing career
hahaha! so true
Oh my GOD! I would destroy this guy. Yes, please.
Uh, he is SO hot. I wish those were my hands.
LOL that is very disturbing
just like fish, this guy is on my secret gay list. dude is so gay.
To the ignorant person who wrote the article: prostate cancer (what Adam is trying to fight) is not a “cancer of the penis.” Evidently you’re abysmally ignorant of human anatomy.
how can you tarts like this guy? he’s gay, his music is whiny poo, and he’s a meglomaniac.
Don’t ask me to “feel” anything about this more than horny. I don’t have time to care about his music or his ego.
I bet you examine Jessica Alba’s acting skills every time she has a new movie out to decide if she’s still hot
black kiss”
Prostate cancer, which Adam is trying to fight, is not “cancer of the penis” as the writer of the article believes.
Give it a rest Rich for crying out loud. People are just joking around here. You must be a riot at parties.
Haha snacks
Does he have a clubfoot or something? He is tipped sideways, while those hands are pointing up. They may be the only thing straight in this picture.
Oh, and sweeeeet kiwi…
For her sake, I sure hope he doesn’t have gas…
I know that position. It’s called the “trunk-monkey”.
This picture is well into uncanny valley for me. I know it’s photoshopped, but those hands aren’t attached to a human body. They look like they’re growing out of his ass. Combined with the wonky nipples and cold dead eyes, I’ll be sleeping with the lights on tonight. Thanks.
I would sell Britney Spears kids on the black market to be those hands. That is if she hasn’t already brokered a deal for a frappucino and 6 bottles of ranch first.
MMMMM
That man has the best tattoos and bod that are not on an mma fighter
Hrm, nearly every fighter wears some variation of the blase chest-shoulder-sleeve uniform and this supermodel would barely make flyweight. MMA what?