Adam Levine Knows How to Fight Cancer

January 7th, 2011 // 113 Comments

Amidst all the bikini photos and posts admiring the splendor of Coco, I get a lot of requests for some naked dudes on the site. Although 90% of them seem to come from that guy who writes the Brad Pitt blog that’s entirely about Lindsay. Anyway, here’s Adam Levine posing nude for the latest issue of Cosmopolitan UK because I think all my readers are special. Just for some background, Adam getting naked somehow benefits the Everyman charity which battles various cancers of the penis, but before everyone does what I just did, whipping your clothes off and running through the McDonald’s drive-thru does not have the same effect. Even if you get the McGriddle. I was as shocked as you are.

NOTE: That’s Adam’s girlfriend’s hand holding the goods because I can’t tell you how corrupt the junk-handling union is these days. 50 smoke breaks for every one hour of work? You’re handling penis, folks, not driving a fork-lift. Unless I’m there. (COUNT IT.)

Photos: Cosmopolitan UK


  1. Lila Joy

    My 18 year old had this on her blog before it was here…

    also.. i said GODDAMN!

    • Cock Dr

      Your 18 year old daughter? I’m sure he wouldn’t want you, your shit probably hangs so low it’s dragging the ground picking up loose change and small animals.

      • Brian

        Cock Dr., you’re a fucking jock loser just waiting for a high five in the halls of your high school.

      • LovinIt

        High Five Brian! Cock Dr i love your name but trolling the comments section of a gossip website was so 5years ago. Go make some friends irl.

        On a lighter note, pelvis lines are the shit.

      • Aussie Mama

        hahahahahaha, you pig!
        gotta say as funny and mean as that comment is….there are 40 year olds out there, that shit all over some of the fat, lumpy, super sized, take away, junk food addicted 18 year olds. just hang down the beach, amazing stuff.. and when a chic does look like that at such a tender age, you know it’s all downhill from there. hate to think what she’d look like at 40. people are literally eating themselves to an early death and a quicker ugliness….

    • Happy Spillmore

      Yea, GODDAMN!

      HOW UNORIGINAL! Tattoos are so fucking gay and played out.

      Just proves theres low class, low self esteemed, unimaginative trailer trash is in every state.

      • gb

        What is “gay” about a tattoo??, or low class, or trailer trash?? … does it make you feel superior, or better about yourself to slime me as a gay man … you homophobic hetero?

    • Girly Gurl

      This is the best of the year so far…thankz fish!

  2. Jennifer

    Bless you, Fish. Bless you.

  3. Cock Dr

    Should I thank you for this?
    Celebrity male nudity is always appreciated.
    That’s a lot of ink. Interesting.
    He looks kinda dopey.
    I have no other remarks at this time. Thanks Fish.

  4. oldfool

    Give him a crack pipe and you would have Amy Winehouses’ wet dream.

  5. miss

    Wish those hands were mine

  6. Mortimer Duke

    Why the need for two hands? We all know her pinky finger alone would have been sufficient.

  7. titsxoxo


  8. DKNY

    Is she eating his ass?

  9. Boo

    Thank you.. Thank you.

  10. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    like, where are the arms comin from tho??

  11. DOucHe BaGELs

    OMG the only thing I can beat it to in this pic are those hands….I’m scared my eyes might slip!!

  12. Finally some eye candy for the ladies. I’d love to examine EACH and EVERY one of those tats very closely :)

  13. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like she is behind him with her face in his ass.

  14. DOucHe BaGELs

    Fuck you

  15. Penis cancer is the worst of the cancers. Please give generously.

  16. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    I prefer the first shot. This one looks like girlfriend is probably rimming esophagus.

  17. v

    Now can you post some nude pictures of a straight guy?

  18. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    I was secretly hoping his junk couldn’t be covered by two small hands

  19. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Zombie Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    He is SHMOKINNNNN!!!!!!

    I wish I was on shlong duty *sad face*

  20. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    what a fat ass.

  21. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    very nice! Thanks, tsf!

  22. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    No, thanks, he is most likely circumcised…eww.

  23. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    Go go gadget ass-hands!!!

  24. Jacob Valeside

    That chick has to be face deep in his butt

  25. Hola

    OMFG! This just made my fucking morning. I thought he was gay, but damn that’s one fine ass gay man nonetheless. FUCK!!!!! Thank you!

  26. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you.

  27. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    That Hindi tatoo looks so good

    • The tiger one does, too. I wonder if he can make it jump or sth when flexing his biceps. Now what’s the “222″-tat mean, that he’s only one third evil? :/

      Thanks for these, Fish!

  28. MLVC

    maybe this will give HIM cancer; rid the world of that horrific music he makes

  29. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    just here for laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, thank you veddy veddy much!

  30. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:


  31. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    i LOVE this guy. this is awesome

  32. ee

    Awww his junk looks small :( he’s so cute tho.

  33. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    Dicks grow hands?

  34. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    so we finally get to see the hands that has been squeezing his balls all through his singing career

  35. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my GOD! I would destroy this guy. Yes, please.

  36. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Some chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, he is SO hot. I wish those were my hands.

  37. tinsley poop

    just like fish, this guy is on my secret gay list. dude is so gay.

  38. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    To the ignorant person who wrote the article: prostate cancer (what Adam is trying to fight) is not a “cancer of the penis.” Evidently you’re abysmally ignorant of human anatomy.

  39. tinsley poop

    how can you tarts like this guy? he’s gay, his music is whiny poo, and he’s a meglomaniac.

    • Swan

      Don’t ask me to “feel” anything about this more than horny. I don’t have time to care about his music or his ego.

    • qwerty

      I bet you examine Jessica Alba’s acting skills every time she has a new movie out to decide if she’s still hot

  40. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    black kiss”

  41. Richard

    Prostate cancer, which Adam is trying to fight, is not “cancer of the penis” as the writer of the article believes.

  42. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he have a clubfoot or something? He is tipped sideways, while those hands are pointing up. They may be the only thing straight in this picture.

  43. Boo

    Oh, and sweeeeet kiwi…

  44. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    For her sake, I sure hope he doesn’t have gas…

  45. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    I know that position. It’s called the “trunk-monkey”.

  46. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture is well into uncanny valley for me. I know it’s photoshopped, but those hands aren’t attached to a human body. They look like they’re growing out of his ass. Combined with the wonky nipples and cold dead eyes, I’ll be sleeping with the lights on tonight. Thanks.

  47. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    I would sell Britney Spears kids on the black market to be those hands. That is if she hasn’t already brokered a deal for a frappucino and 6 bottles of ranch first.

  48. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:


  49. Adam Levine Nude Naked
    Commented on this photo:

    That man has the best tattoos and bod that are not on an mma fighter

    • Culchah Vulchah

      Hrm, nearly every fighter wears some variation of the blase chest-shoulder-sleeve uniform and this supermodel would barely make flyweight. MMA what?

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