Why Did Sandy Hook Happen? Because Nancy Lanza Was An Idiot Survivalist

March 10th, 2014 // 214 Comments
Sandy Hook Memorial
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Sandy Hook was the national tragedy that broke me. Almost two years later, I still can’t look at the images of terrified and crying children evacuating their school while heroes, honest-to-fucking God heroes, whether they were teachers, police or first responders steeled themselves and walked through fire to get those kids to safety. I imagine the children in my own life being put in that situation for barely a second and forget it. And for a short while, the entire country felt the same way. This was going to be the time when we all stopped for a minute and went, “This is getting goddamn ridiculous.” But then the moneyed arm of the NRA with the full weight of American stupidity behind it took off the cast it wore for show and went right back to work harder and more dead inside than ever as gun laws actually became more lax because surely you see the problem wasn’t too many guns, it’s not enough! Rabble rabble rabble! And so Sandy Hook was forgotten – except for when it makes a great Christmas present anecdote, you betcha – until today when a New Yorker interview with Adam Lanza‘s father Peter became the must read article of the day and pulled Sandy Hook out of the dusty box labeled “Just one of those things that happen because F’EEDOM!” In it, Peter Lanza details the deterioration of Adam’s mental state in his own pursuit of figuring out why something like this happened and what can be done to prevent it in the future. It’s a depressing look at a father’s attempts to process having your son commit such a heinous and violent act that bleakly ends with him wishing his own son was just never born. Except what really boggles the mind, and yet goes unspoken the entire time by Peter, is that Adam’s dwindling mental state was readily apparent to his mother Nancy who – as Peter unfortunately learned much too late – was downplaying the severity of Adam’s behavior. As you read the interview, it’s abundantly clear this was a sadly troubled young man, and yet his mother KEPT A FUCKING ARSENAL IN THE HOUSE. The entire article delves into the psychology and biology that may have caused Adam to snap, but the reason for why, and even moreso how this happened is right fucking there. And naturally the shitbird response to that will be, “Well, he would’ve found other weapons.” And you know what? Maybe. Maybe Adam Lanza would’ve built a pipe-bomb or somehow purchased his own firearms because this is a country that believes in Jesus-shooters for everyone, but that would’ve at least put some sort of friction between him and his goal besides, “Where can I find an assault rifle? Oh, wait, right here on the couch because mom think gun safes will slow you down during Armageddon.” Which brings me to probably the most profound passage of the whole interview:

For him, the crime defines the illness—as he said, soon after we met, you’d have to be crazy to do such a thing. He found the idea of Adam’s not being insane much more devastating than the thought of his being insane. Peter has searched the psychiatric literature on mass killers, trying to understand what happened to his son. He came across the work of Park Dietz, a psychiatrist who, in 1986, coined the term “pseudocommando.” Dietz says that for pseudocommandos a preoccupation with weapons and war regalia makes up for a sense of impotence and failure. He wrote that we insist that mass killers are insane only to reassure ourselves that normal people are incapable of such evil.

The Reckoning: The Father of The Sandy Hook Killer Searches For Answers – New Yorker

Photo: Episcopal News Service


  1. Mitch

    Did Sandy Hook actually happen?

    • Brought It

      Something happened, just likely not what the mainstream media has told us. Ever wonder why there wasn’t a single photo of a child being rushed to the hospital? I sure wonder.

      • KCinPas

        Are you F-ing kidding me? How about because all but one of the children who were shot were already dead? Maybe that’s why? I have a now-former friend who sent me the stupid #falseflag video that came out after the shooting, and I was able to find credible sources that refuted *every single point* in it. Every one! I have a college classmate whose kids were at Sandy Hook that day. IT HAPPENED. Ugh.

      • Mitch

        Personally, I think you’re full of shit.

        If you had a good friend who had kids there that day, why would you even investigate a “false flag” accusation?

      • Please shoot yourself.

      • Sandra

        What the hell? Did Sandy Hook not teach you anything…idiot.

      • A Pike

        typically crime victims pictures and images are protected if they are MINORS…and yeah…all those KIDS definitely fall into that classification.

      • Mitch and “Brought It” both make me wish being a fucking idiot could cause cancer.

      • Ron

        Trauma on an adult is compounded in children, they have less blood volume and any loss and be detrimental to them. There was a child who was brought to a local hospital and later died. The coroner’s report stated one child was shot over 11 times. No one would have survived that not even an adult.

    • Father Dougal

      How about we take up a collection to buy you a plane ticket so you can go ask that of one of the parents who lost a kid? I’m sure the trauma of having to explain to yet another fucktarded nutjob that yes, their child did in fact die horribly will be more than mitigated by the golden opportunity of speaking with a walking, talking anal fissure.

      • Sure, I’d love a ticket and I’d like to see proof the kid existed in the first place and proof they are actually citizens. Don’t believe everything you see on T.V Sandy hook had faked elements.

      • Your last name isn’t Lanza, is it? Because you sound almost as screwy as that poor Adam Lanza was. Did you even read the New Yorker article? It’s sad and frightening that anyone could be that fucked up. But you sound pretty fucking close.

    • My commentary is probably too late to matter, but questioning the news reports of Sandy Hook and being a Sandy Hook denier are not the same thing. I don’t deny that those children died, not for a second. I question how they died and don’t believe we’ve been told the whole truth.

    • HAHAHAHAHhA My thoughts exactly, F$%^ the Superficial. You guys are only here to post boobs and insults. Guns are the problem big government is. There are so many inconsistencies in the Sandy Hook story it’s not even funny.

      Fake coverage, pictures of victims shown, then those same kids are playing with Obama in a photo op as survivors. THE OBVIOUS actor dad who didn’t know the camera was on.

      The liberal media are fools for wanting to disarm Americans. Total idiocy. You geek drones lost me as a reader (at least until Kat Upton has a nipple slip)

  2. Cock Dr

    Normal people are absolutely capable of great evil. What the hell do you think happened in Nazi Germany? But IMO Adam Lanza was about as far from “normal” as you can get.

  3. JBJJ

    Largest hoax of the past few years. Don’t believe this shit people.


    • Mitch

      It’s funny that Fish makes mention of the photos of the terrified kids from Sandy Hook when the photos that were widely distributed were not FROM Sandy Hook.

      The live video of one of the kids dad’s speaking the day after the “shooting” where he is clearly smiling, laughing and joking before putting on his “game face” to address the camera’s was telling as well.

    • Yeah I was hoping you fuckin conspiracy theory nut fucks would show up for this. What is it again, Obama staged it to take yer guns? Or some world bank conspiracy? I can’t remember.

      • It’s the Illuminati.

      • Lizard people. This has lizard people written all over it.

      • Mitch

        Because nothing like that has ever happened in the past. Imagine someone actually staging an event as a reason to promote their views and desires…

        Oh wait, there was that pesky Reichstag fire business in Nazi Germany.

        This video says a lot:


      • Conservative shitbags sure do love em’ some Hitler these days. Go to any fucked in the skull conservative website – 80% Hitler quotes. It seems Hitler has become the right’s new Jesus.

        Pound sand, Jesus, You’re services are no longer needed in today’s conservative party.


      • GG

        Conspiracy theories also happen in other parts of the world. Check out the Port Arthur massacre that preceded heavy gun control laws in Australia. Just sayin’…

      • your a meathead

    • Get fucked, all of you fucking conspiracy theory cunts.

    • Dox

      Why is it so fucking hard for you people to believe that someone with untreated or undertreated mental illness could do something violent? Particularly with unsecured weapons literally sitting in your lap.
      I realize that, to you, the entire world is filled with shapeshifting lizard illumanti hell bent on taking over this dying world that has rapidly become filled with pollution, and decay but is in no way actually undergoing anything remotely resembling a climate change because Economy…
      but this… this is not rocket science. Its very simple. There is no conspiracy here. Just a person, who become completely disconnected from society. Who lost the final connection to his first tier family, and wound up feeling completely isolated and alone. Who spent way too much time with his own thoughts and ideas which just served to reinforce whatever paranoia gripped him.
      Mental Illness is like any other disease. It has a progression. one that can take decades to reach a final stage in which the patient winds up either taking their own life, or others. Its chartable, its understandable, its preventable.

      Its completely amazing to me how THIS and fucking Benghazi become a conspiracy theory. But the 9-11 commission and its report are completely accepted as gospel fact.

      You people are completely bizarre.

    • It’s very important that you shoot yourself. Now. RIght now.

    • cc

      Wow, talk about irony. An article on someone who went batshit crazy and shot a bunch of people and who shows up? A batshit crazy.

    • See, I think that this is how these conspiracy theorists cope with horrible incidences – “No, that tragedy did not occur, it was an elaborate ruse set up by the government for their own nefarious devices!”

      Maybe that works for you folks. Maybe burying your head in the sand because you can’t fathom a world where there are people who are fucked up in the head who have ready access to weapons is the only way you can function.

      At the same time as trying to understand those who believe that conspiracy shit, I have to say at the same time that you disrespecting those kids. Can you not agree that there is at least a sliver of a chance that someone did this? If you can, why would you be so callous as to say what you’re saying? If there’s a chance that these over 20 children died horrific deaths, I don’t know how you sleep at night by just minimizing them and the resulting issues (gun regulation, mental health access, etc).

      Also, for those that do go towards conspiracy theories because they don’t want to believe things like this happen, may I present the following:

      1) Columbine
      2) Anders Behring Breivik and the Norway Attacks
      3) Aurora shootings
      4) All 5 billion shootings that have occurred in schools since Sandy Hook

      Some people are fucked in the head. Don’t minimize the pain of hundreds of people (for it is hundreds of people – the children and teachers, the parents of the victims, their grandparents/aunts/uncles/friends, and even the father of the shooter) just because you’re too busy with the desire to “keep yer guns case the gov’ment gone getcha” and dreaming up a conspiracy theory. Instead, maybe think about ways of preventing this from happening again (hint: the answer probably isn’t “more guns”).

      • Bryan

        Can I see a source for your “one billion school shootings in the past year?”

        By the way, it’s extremely revealing that the only gun crime you seem to care about is the stuff that affects reasonably well-off white people. Gotta ban those assault rifles that kill billions of our white babies every year! Gang crime and hand guns? Eh, brown people, big whoop. Right?

      • Mentioning one does not automatically preclude caring about the other, dipshit. It’s not an either/or scenario.

      • Your the one burying your head in the sand. How come there is NO surveillance video, how come there were OTHER PEOPLE PRESENT during the shooting who WERE apprehended. Were they also shooters?

        the timeline of the shooting doesn’t even make sense, also all the fake news coverage SHOULD arouse suspicion. You can HARP on conspiracy theorists all you want but Sandy Hook stinks to high heavens and thats not MY FAULT.

        The least you should do is hate on the media for making it look so fake if it isn’t. But I assure you it is, maybe some kids died, but they ALSO tore down the school so it couldn’t be independently researched. Thats SO suspicious. Criminals always destroy the crime scene.

  4. scrombler

    Ok, I’m done with this site now. Have gone to it every day the past few years but I come here for hot chicks, not the political ramblings of some entertainment blogger. There are plenty of other sites that have the same pics, etc without this crap. Thats not even saying I disagree with the guy but get a job with CNN or something dude.

  5. Scatterbrained ranting. Not sure what the take home here is, other than guns are bad.

    If you could summarize the rest of that into a couple sentences it would be great.

    • Dox

      You really want a summary?
      No problem.

      Summary: Untreated mental illness, and unsecured weapons are a bad mix.

      All the rest is about a deadbeat father that bailed out on his kid and feels guilty.

  6. I will agree that the mother shouldn’t have had weapons around her son given his mental state. But I also read the article and it makes some valid points about Adam not fitting the typical mass shooter profile. If anything, if I was his parent, I would be terrified that he would kill himself and for that reason alone, I would have removed the guns or locked them up.

    I don’t think the presence of guns in any way is the cause of the shooting. They don’t answer the “why” question on the shooting. They do partially answer the “how” component however.

    I have to boys and I am terrified of not only the chance of them becoming a victim of something like this, but also of them growing up with serious mental or psychological problems that would ever make them even conceive of something like what Adam did. I like to think I provide the best environment and resources possible for their healthy development, but from all accounts, the Lanzas did all they could as well. Sometimes shitty things happen regardless of how hard you try to prevent them.

    • “If anything, if I was his parent, I would be terrified that he would kill himself and for that reason alone, I would have removed the guns or locked them up.”

      Exactly this. He may have showed no signs of harming anyone else, but definitely signs of hurting himself and not stopping even if there’s pain which she had to warn teachers about.

      • Mitch

        I’ll agree with you on this point, that the mentally ill should not have access to guns, or knives, or bats or anything else that they could use as a weapon.

        Guns are not he problem in the world, people are. The black community in the USA has an extremely high percentage of gun violence issues. They also have an extremely high percentage of kids being raised by single moms, grandparents, cousins and everyone else besides their fathers. If you take blacks out of the equation, the gun violence statistics in the USA take a precipitous nosedive.

        Responsible ownership is the issue, and there are too many retards in this country who know more about how many dicks Kim Kardashian took up her ass over the weekend than how to use a lock and key.

      • “If you take blacks out of the equation…”

        Okay, that’s enough wish fulfillment, Boss Hog.

      • Mitch

        I know, pollyanna is not obtainable but you know damn well the point I was making.

        There is a single racial group that is responsible for the majority of gun violence in this country. They are, however, mostly shooting each other so for the most part it’s a win-win situation.

      • I take solace in the fact that you will one day shoot yourself in a way that is both humorous and, for you, highly embarrassing. Gun control — one shit-for-brains at a time.

      • The point you were making? That you’re a racist cunt? We already knew that.

      • So, explain why the vast majority of mass shooters are white? Correct me if I’m wrong, but the only black mass shooter I remember is the DC shooter?

        It all depends on how you look at it. If you want black people to look like the ones perpetrating most of the gun violence in America, it’s easy to manipulate statistics to do just that. However, I can turn around and say that white people are resoundingly the ones who do the most damage based on the fact above.

      • Dox

        You could also point out that Serial Killers are overwhelming white. Usually middle class. Usually male. Usually well thought of.
        Based upon those numbers and statistics if we could just get rid of white middle class males, the world would be safe.

        Hey! this is kind of fun, lets do some more.

      • Let’s just make this super simple. Let’s take men out of the equation. Boom! Gun violence goes down an automatic ~85%. Guns are not the problem in the world, men are.

    • Griefer

      Parents are often in denial about how mentally ill their kids are, and this chick got a bullet in the head for it. Unfortunately, Adam Lanza didn’t stop there.

  7. Bob Vila

    Another liberal rant. Move to Mexico if you want to live where guns are illegal. Or move to Ukraine where they’re illegal.

    • banner man

      Gun’s are not illegal in Ukraine..nor in most parts of Europe…well except for the UK.

      • Bob Vila

        “Currently, gun laws in the Ukraine are categorized as restrictive and only “licensed gun owners may lawfully acquire, possess or transfer a firearm or ammunition.” Ukrainians who apply for a firearms license must show “genuine reason” for why they are doing so, which must approved by the State.”


      • They managed to oust their corrupt leader….and only had a handful of guns. Most were freaking air rifles

      • I don’t see why there shouldn’t be a paper work trail on the possession of what is a killing machine. Just because a gun can be used for sport does not mean it can’t kill.

        It only makes sense for a third party, in this case the government, to determine if you should have a gun. Frankly there are too many people out there who shouldn’t have guns who do.

        This is why I’m glad that I live in Canada.

    • You can move to Russia where you can join Vladdie in licking George Booosh’s dirty ass.

  8. SomeDude

    My lord, can you get any worse with your idiotic anti-gun ranting? Seriously, you wouldn’t know what to do if you had to have a rational discussion on the topic you ignorant fool!

    • Fish is so blinded by the rage he (justifiably) feels over his conservative upbringing that rational discussion on any topic that has a whiff of the “right” sends him into a downward spiral of spite and venom. I dare say my conservative upbringing was about as godawful as they get but haven’t made it my life’s goal to besmirch the (mostly ignorant idiot) right-wing believers.

      Bottom line–not all conservative standpoints are bad and not all liberal standpoints are good. So long as we keep making everything about right versus left we’re never going to find ways of improving the population.

      • Bryan

        This post is SO on point. It’s the #1 problem with the entire gun debate. It also creates the unfortunate echo chamber that Fish resides in, where he can post articles from Mother Jones and CNN all day, written by others who hate guns purely because of a deeply ingrained loathing anything that conservatives like, and feel like he’s championing his team.

        I’m way left wing myself, but I have admit that a broken clock is right twice a day. Some of the conservative gun people may be stupid about WHY guns are important (UN tyrants taking over the country, etc.) but the essential facts remain.

      • banner man

        Fish is also not forcing any of us to be here…so whats the problem, don’t like what he says move on to pastures new.

      • Bryan

        His celebrity posts are consistently funny and apart from guns his political opinions are good. That’s why I stick around.

      • @Celebrity Poo:

        Actually, here’s the ironic part, my parents and I see eye-to-eye on guns. They fucking hate the things, my dad still can’t believe we didn’t ban assault rifles immediately after Sandy Hook and are actually leery of parishioners who are a little too into them. They’re usually the ones who are hoping Left Behind happens so they get to shoot American soldiers for making going to church illegal. Yup.

        When I say my parents are “conservative” what I mean is that they’re pro-life, pro-Christian school prayer, pro-10 Commandments in courthouses, etc., and aren’t that committed to the other bullshit like warhawking, tax cuts, and fealty to the rich. They actually voted for Kerry because of the Iraq War, but then ran right into the arms of Sarah Palin which they’ve regretted ever since.

      • Greg

        Interesting story, I’ve actually been told by a Sheriff and an officer that works with Houston PD, that even though it says ‘Protect and Serve’ on the side of the squad car, their job isn’t to protect me. If someone threatens me, they’ll come take a report and turn it over to an investigator. They won’t station an officer outside my house, they won’t have someone with me 24hr, etc….basically they’ve stated that you’re on your own to provide for your own security and safety.

        I understand you detest guns, and I’m fine with that. You’re allowed to manage your safety and security as you like, I’ll manage mine as I like. Though i hope to never have to use my personal carry, I will not allow my security to be left to someone who won’t show up for 30-45 mins.

      • Dox

        A couple of things, I hope you can at least relate to. (Not really counter points, so much as personal feelings.)

        1) I detest guns. They exist for one purpose and one purpose only, and that is to take a life. That we as a species seem to excel at creating newer and better ways to do that is both immensely sad, and disheartening.

        2) That being said- I absolutely think you should have every right to legally, and lawfully obtain and carry a firearm. The sad truth is, our entire society is one long black out away from reverting to barbarism, as evidenced in every major natural disaster that has occurred. (See Katrina- Where cops were just randomly murdering citizens.)

        Outside of that… My biggest grief with “Gun Control” is that people keep debating it like it matters, when the issue really amounts to “This country has no mental health treatment,” Funny thing about Sandy Hook… You take away the guns, and it still maybe happens. You treat the patient. It doesn’t happen. Yet somehow, the entire debate is about guns. Go figure.

      • Bryan

        I agree with you on your overall point, but the “guns are DESIGNED TO KILL” thing is one of the funnier arguments gun controllers use.

        There are hundreds of millions of guns in the US.

        There are somewhere around 10,000 gun homicides every year. Give or take. (Many are multiple homicides with the same gun, but I’ll ignore that to boost the antis’ numbers for them.)

        Does that mean literally 99.999999% of guns are being used wrong? Those millions and millions of owners are just morons who are too stupid to realize that they’re supposed to be out there killing people with their guns?

        Or maybe, MAYBE, the reality is that an inanimate object does not have some metaphysical “purpose” inextricably and intrinsically built into its very essence. Just think about that. The “purpose” thing is just mystical nonsense and has no bearing on the real world we live in.

        (Fyi, I have over a hundred guns and not a single one has ever been aimed at a living thing. Shame on me.)

      • Dox

        Metaphysical purpose?

        Who said anything about that? A gun is made to kill. Period. It shoots bullets. You load it, and you fire it. the projectile leaves the barrel traveling at speeds, then strikes the object causing differing types of damage depending on the ammunition it uses.

        So what other purpose does it have? Can you build a house with it? How about plow a farm? Maybe you could sculpt with it… or play a Clapton tune? No. I wonder why that is… possibly because it has one singular purpose. To launch projectiles at living things to make them, not living things anymore. That is what a gun does, that is what a gun is designed to do. There is absolutely nothing metaphysical about it. Its engineering.

        And yes, inanimate objects have purpose built into their existence. You build a car so you can drive it, not to plant flowers in the trunk. You build a house to live in, not so you can listen to music.

        Just because you don’t use them for their intended purpose, does not mean they weren’t created for that purpose. Intent is a human thing. Notice, I never said… Guns were designed to murder. Because murder requires certain criteria to be met, and thus an inanimate object cannot have intent.

        That does not however, stop engineers and designers from designing something for a purpose.

      • Bryan

        Whether you want to or not, you’re invoking philosophy when you’re talking about a gun being intended to kill. First off, many are target 22lrs or others that are barely even capable of killing.

        Second, and more importantly, the point is: what an object is “designed” to do, or its “intrinsic purpose,” is not a real-world thing. It exists in the metaphysical realm of Plato’s forms or something, or in the human mind. If you design object A to do task Z, and literally only .0000002 percent of A is actually used to do that, does it make sense to keep talking about its alleged “purpose?” Why?

        More explicitly: if I build a car, and for all intents and purposes, NOBODY uses it to drive around in, they just prop them in their houses and eat breakfast off the hood, is it really a car? Or is it a breakfast table now? Does its “intended purpose” matter or mean anything in the real physical world?

        I am constantly hearing antis talking about how guns’ only purpose is to kill human beings, and that’s just not the case in reality. It’s not something you base real-world legislation off of. It might be interesting material for a philosophy class, though.

      • Dox


        1) That is such a bunch of mealy mouthed bullshit, I don’t even know where to begin. That is without a doubt, the largest load of utter bullshit I have ever heard.

        2) I never said it was designed only “to kill human beings”. I specifically stated it was designed only to end life. And that’s what it does. You can skate the issue, you can play pretend. You can invoke whatever philosophical bullshit that makes you feel good at night, and it still doesn’t change the fact that a gun has one single designed purpose. The same as a bow, the same as a spear, the same as any multitude of other weapons in existence.

        3) Finally, it becomes apparent that no one actually read what I wrote. Because if you did, you would note in this sentence here ” (Not really counter points, so much as personal feelings.)” That this statement was in now way in support of current attempts at Gun control but rather a personal feeling on Weapons, guns in particular.

        That’s an interesting post, not really something to base real world discussions off of, but it might be interesting for a philosophy class, though.

      • Bryan

        1. Nope.

        2. You’re the one skirting reality and the point of my argument: “intended purpose” or “designed to” MEANS. NOTHING. IN. THE. REAL. WORLD.

        3. I had no commentary/thoughts regarding whether it was your opinion or whatever, I’m just shootin’ down what you’re throwin’ up.

        From your other posts, I gather you’re not a foaming at the mouth anti like Fish or some others, and I honestly have no beef with you. (Or really anyone here, this is internet entertainment.) But the statement that a “gun is designed to kill” as if it has any relation to significance in the real world we live in and write laws in is laughable.

      • Bryan

        And if you want me to concede something, this is the best you’ll get: Yes, Paul Mauser designed the Luger as a weapon to shoot people in battle.

        Now, what does that have to do with the fact that virtually no Luger in existence today will ever be aimed at a living creature? That the creator intended something to be used in a certain way does not imbue it with some mystical purpose, or anything at all. An object’s purpose comes from its actual use in physical world, and NOTHING more.

        And we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

      • Bryan

        Oops, typo, I meant Georg Luger. Duh.

      • Just because you’ve never used a gun for its intended purpose doesn’t invalidate the idea that its intended purpose is to kill things. I suppose you could make the argument that its purpose is to be a really intimidating paperweight, or a really inefficient hammer. You know, if you were some kind of disingenuous fuckwad.

      • Jesus Concealed and Carried

        A balanced view-point by Celebrity Poo and Bryan? This isn’t the internet that I know. lol. Thanks guys, that was a breath of fresh-air. (Although I will say…Bryan…is it so wrong to imagine a world without personal gun ownership? I have several friends who have ARSENALS of weapons. One of my friends is LAPD, in South Central L.A. We had a party once, a lot of cops, at my friends ARSENAL house, and their jaws just dropped, they were all muttering, no one should have this many weapons. The cops could not believe how many assault rifles, guns, etc, my buddy had. My friend is armed to the teeth. But, it’s all legal. But, I always think to myself – does he just like guns, or what the hell is he afraid of? Is he so scared of people in general, that he stock piles weapons? Or is he so insecure? Anyway, perhaps I will hear about him on the 6 o’clock news, unloading all his ammo on a school yard…perhaps where your kids go to school. And when they ask me, I will say…”He was just a normal guy. He just snapped.” I guess thats all it takes…one bad day.

  9. Roundhouse Kick

    What does any of this have to do with being an “idiot survivalist”, you whining lefty bitch?

    • Survivalist = guns in the house. I’m not sure it gets any clearer than that. *looks for handpuppets*

      • something like 40% of households are survivalist households then?

        I think you need a ton of guns and like 20,000 rounds of stockpiled ammo before you really start getting into survivalist territory.

      • Roundhouse Kick

        Oh, right. Glad to see you’re not putting too fine a point on it – everybody who owns a gun is indeed an idiot survivalist.

        As an aside, I did regret the name-calling as soon as I hit the “submit” button. Sorry about that.

      • Bob Vila

        HAHAH Exactly! Almost half of US households have guns – guess they’re all survivalists. Want to try again?

        While Sandy Hook is a tragedy, occurrences like this are quite rare. Time to find another bandwagon to jump on. As an American, it’s really embarrassing to hear the ignorance around the roles that firearms play to national security.

        It wasn’t too long ago that the Nazi’s went around Germany and collected all the guns.

        It also wasn’t too long ago that the US government went around to all the Japanese American citizens and collected their guns. Within weeks, these 100,000 + Americans of Japanese descent were then rounded up and placed in desert internment camps and lost their homes, businesses, EVERYTHING. I’d sure like to see that happen again today, knowing that we are a better armed population.

        Enough with the ignorance that the government is always looking out for its citizens and residents. With the mass surveillance today, we are further at the mercy of an all powerful government. An armed citizenship provides an important check against this mighty government.

      • Congrats on proving yourself less intelligent than Lindsay Lohan’s crotch sweat, Fish! Congrats on confirming libby paranoia is based on stupidity!

        What’s really, really evident,here…is that you don’t give two shits about guns, unless you can spew moronic shit against Conservatives, somehow. Where’s you bleeding heart for all the minority gun crimes (strangely, in the cities with the harshest gun laws)? Just plain missing, it seems.

        Seriously, you drooling moron…stick with pregnancy accusations and celebrity boobs. Your rants against the Right make you seem further afield than the Glen Becks of the world, which is kinda frightening.

        Education would help…or, maybe, ask if Piers Morgan will put you in his luggage when he takes his similarly-moronic-and-paranoid anti-gun stupidity back to the UK.

      • Jeeeee-zus!

        Ted Nugent, everybody! *golf clap*

      • Dox

        Uh Fish-

        Yeah, that ones a bit of a stretch. Owning a firearm doesn’t make you a survivalist. That’s a whole ball of crazy that usually involves underground bunkers.
        And bug out bags…. if you own a bug out bag…. well… that’s just bizarre.

      • Roundhouse Kick

        Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. Lots of disasters happening nowadays, environmental and otherwise.

      • Roundhouse Kick asked what being a survivalist has to do with Sandy Hook and I pointed out what should’ve been obvious that because survivalists/doomsday preppers have shitloads of guns which is how all of this ended up happening.

      • Dox

        Her owning of firearms doesn’t make her a survivalist. Her owning of firearms, having multiple caches of supplies, underground bunkers, and detailed plans tor rebuild society is more in line with survivalist.

        Just saying, the definition you use for survivalist is broad and unrefined. More or less a generalization of individuals that may or may not own, or collect guns. One does not equate to the other.

      • Having guns in your house does not automatically make you a survivalist. If you work in laugh enforcement, you live in a rural area where the need to kill the odd wild animal like a coyote or a racoon and if you’re really worried about intruders then a single handgun in your nightstand.

        But anything more than that is over the top. If you’re into hunting then you should have a locker in your basement. (And personally I believe hunting should be done with a bow).

        I know that the first two of those didn’t apply, and I’m pretty sure that Sandy Hook is a pretty safe neighbourhood with a relatively low crime rate so the logic behind having multiple guns in the house, espeically with large clips that can allow extended firing is just ridiculous.

      • I have guns in my house, but I only use them to shoot honeydew melons with hollow point bullets.

      • Bryan

        Give it some time, Georgio. You’ll snap eventually and shoot some white children, it’s just inevitable.

  10. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Fuck the other idiots and their name calling. The truth sucks.

    • I’m not going to lie, I enjoy the sweet tang of butthurt.

      • Bryan

        Yeah, we can tell from your never-ending parade butthurt diatribes against the villainous NRA because you didn’t get your way and have pointless laws enacted that do nothing but make you feel good about yourself for doing SOMETHING.

      • Pointless laws. Right. Since Sandy Hook, 109 new gun laws have been passed. 70 of them EXPANDED gun ownership protection. The NRA’s answer to every gun-related tragedy is: MORE GUNS! and: They’re coming to take your guns! Buy More Guns! HURRY! And gun manufacturers laugh and laugh and laugh all the way to the bank because you gullible gun-totin’ dumbasses think it’s true. If there was even the slightest chance that there really was a conspiracy going on and Sandy Hook didn’t happen, it would be because the NRA staged it to trick you dumb fuckers into buying more guns.

      • LMAO! *writing this line down for future use*

      • Bob Vila

        Here’s a taste O’ Sweet Tang of Butthurt, your site has been consistently losing traffic for the last two years. Get off your soapbox and try to be funny again.


      • Bryan

        Even as much as I agree with Fish on every other political issue, I still scratch my head when he write effort-rants about racist Paula Deen or homophobic Duck Dynasty guys, or that pointless Sarah Palin book review.

        I mean, it’s clear that his real ambition is to make sure everybody knows he CARES about stuff, but that’s just not what he’s supposed to be doing on a site mocking celebrities. Lanza and Zimmerman aren’t even celebrities like Paula Deen or the Duck Dynasty people are, where there’s at least a tenuous connection.

        I’m not saying I’ll stop reading, because the boobs and jokes are good, but it’s a pretty obvious case of him needing to get a side gig at the Huff Po or start another blog.

      • Yeah, but the only traffic it’s lost is from butthurt conservatards, so the site’s basically been steadily improving for two years.

  11. teddy

    What does this have to do with Kim Kardashians ass again? that’s right nothing.. CNN is that away ——>

  12. FT86

    What the hell Superficial? Sandy Hook happened because guns were sitting around a living room? Next you’ll say 9/11 happened because people with brown skin are bad.

    • kildest

      No 9/11 happened because there were planes in the air. After all, a flying object is meant for one thing and one thing only: to go up and come down.

  13. Oh BABY

    Thanks so much for drowning us all with your boring, predictable, libtard tears, Fish. You’re not smart or talented enough to write meaningful political commentary, and the truth is that few of us care about your feelings about gun control, stand your ground laws, and the other shit you whine about on a regular basis.

    If you don’t like it here, get out. It’s really that simple.

    One other thing. You don’t speak for the entire country. If you’re too much of a limp-wristed tool to own or handle a gun, don’t get one. No matter how much tedious moralizing you do, the second amendment exists, and sensationalizing the Sandy Hook situation is a despicable thing to do by you jerk-off liberals.

    Most of us don’t care what you think, Fish, about serious issues (largely because you’re a vapid shit). Stick to tits and ass, because it’s all your teeny brain can discuss with anything approaching rational thought.

    • Republicunt

      I love conservative rant on the internet, it smell like victory in 2016. The only thing this kind of rage does, it make people vote Democrat. So, I want to personally thank you, and Ted Nugent…you guys are doing a great job for us! Keep up the good work! You are so intelligent! Bravo, sir!!!

      • Greg

        I’m pretty sure ‘Freebies’ is what makes people vote Democrat. Not gun rants. Just saying….

      • Mitch

        I’m libertarian and I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that there will never be another republican president nor a libertarian president in the future of this country.

        There are far too many people living off the government whether it’s working a gov job or living of welfare. These people will never vote against a paycheck and the democrats have it locked up…until they completely run the country into the ground.

        If we have another 20 years as the USA, we are lucky. I’m guessing that we are closer to the 5-10 year range. After that we will be broken up and sold to the highest bidder.

      • Those pesky soldiers on food stamps. Damn them! (Support the troops!)

      • Mitch

        So, you’re trying to make the claim that only military members are on welfare?

        That’s a stretch, even for the most insane liberal.

        Your buddy Obama ought to be paying the military enough to get by without welfare.

      • Jade

        Wait.. my husband has been in the military for 23 years, and he’s still going. He works more than 8 hours a day, and that is when he isn’t deployed. He’s on welfare?

      • YourMomsGunt

        Please, keep stroking each other Greg and Mitch. There’s nothing that will win people over to your side quicker than inferring that everyone who disagrees with you politically is a welfare queen on the take. That mentality is causing politically middle of the road people to just flock to the Republican Party, isn’t it? Keep it up.

      • uut duhh

        They’re *implying* – you “inferred.” They can not infer for you.

      • Mitch

        I never said that anyone who disagrees with me politically is a welfare queen. You should have gone to college and taken a basic logic course, it would have prevented you from making these absurd claims.

        The fact of the matter is that the USA has gone past it’s tipping point. There are more people sucking off the government teat than contributing to it. You should have learned that you can’t spend more than you make in a high school home-ec class but I guess that GED was just too alluring for you, wasn’t it.

        Benjamin Franklin predicted this over 200 years ago:

        “When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.”
        - Benjamin Franklin

    • Equates gun-ownership and masculinity, uses “libtard” like it’s a real word and yet ends his post with the non-ironic words “rational thought.”.

    • Speaking as a non-American who doesn’t live in America, you do know that the rest of the world, and I mean just about every country except possibly Russia, looks at your second amendment as the single stupidest law in your constitution.

      Because of it the world generalizes Americans as a bunch of gun loving nutjobs. Now that’s not true, there’s plenty of anti-gun Americans out there.

      The second amendment was written so that an armed militia could be gathered quickly if the British tried to take the 13 colonies back. By the time the war of 1812 that law was almost unnecessary, now it’s just overkill. America has one of the largest armies on the planet and the original purpose of the law doesn’t matter.

      But perhaps I’m talking to myself because since when does America care what the rest of the world thinks about it?

  14. Jade

    Bad/ignorant parents are to blame, as well as a batshit crazy person. Guns aren’t to blame. It is a convenient out, but try to remember that there was an actual person involved, not just a gun.

    Could you imagine.. if we threw as much gusto into making parents be good parents as we threw into gun control, maybe things would change.

  15. I’m posting this so Fish sees another sane voice among the conspiracy nuts and the gun fuckers (by which I mean they are fuckers in the sense of being assholes, although they probably also fuck guns as well, because shoving gun barrels up their asses is likely the only way they achieve the tiniest tingle within their obviously miniscule cocks).

    Sandy Hook happened because a crazy kid had ready access to an arsenal kept by his crazy mom. He was a gun nut surrounded by guns like a lit match in a room full of dynamite.

    School shootings are a direct result of our ridiculously impotent gun laws.

    Fuck you, gun nuts. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

    Fuck you.

    • Bryan

      Kudos to a well-executed parody of an idiot who doesn’t know what they’re talking about. You should have signed it “Sincerely, the Brady Campaign” for extra comedy, though.

    • uut duhh

      Someone get Joe a drool cup.

  16. Bryan

    Fish’s utterly clueless frothing baby opinions about guns vacillate so violently between being hilarious and depressing that it gives me a headache.

    Some Maria Menounos bikini posts should help me feel better.

  17. John

    Stick with the T&A, genius.

  18. horse

    Yes, a 120 lbs kid with Aspergers had a kill rate of 96%.

    Wolfgang W. Halbig

  19. I agree with you, Fish. I admittedly tire of the T&A parade on the site, but when you pull out the soap box for issues like this and the way Chris Brown gets a free pass from so many, I definitely agree. It’s sad to me that there are people who honestly think Sandy Hook was a stunt by a vast left-wing conspiracy. I imagine that makes for quite the round table topic at their Hitler Was a Hoax Think Tank meetings.

    • Zevriel

      I had no idea there were even Sandy Hook deniers until today. I’m completely stunned that people can be that idiotic.

      But I’m with Caroline. Sometimes, as a woman I get tired of the T&A here — what keeps me coming back is your wit and the political bent, Fish. So please ignore them, as I’m sure you will anyhow, and keep posting.

      • Mitch

        Watch this and get back to us.


        If this doesn’t even make you wonder the slightest bit that Sandy Hook might not be exactly what the MSM said it was, you’re brain dead.

        Does the fact that every media outlet used old photos of prior shootings when reporting on Sandy Hook make you curious? I don’t know if it did or it didn’t happen, I’m just puzzled as to why so many things about this event smelly strange.

      • I agree with you. Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. KONY 2014!! *scratches sweaty hair underneath tin foil hat* We are through the looking glass, people!! LOCK N’ LOAD!! :P

      • A video? Awesome. I hear the internet has some great videos of Bigfoot, alien autopsies and Britney Spears’ “singing” as well.

        All true ah tells’ ya. All true. Moses told me.

      • Yeah, all those parents just buried their kids in order to further the propaganda of Obama. How silly of me not to think of that!

      • uut duhh

        All what parents? The ones smiling and laughing with Lauer and Pauley? Or the one who went from beaming to crocodile tears once he realized the cameras were rolling?

      • Call me when the shuttle lands. If you really believe these parents had their kids killed or faked the death of their kids and no one has figured that out (not even the crack staff at Fox ‘News!), then you are firmly on another planet.

      • I agree with Caroline and Zevriel. I’m a woman, and I visit this site for Fish’s writing, and I also enjoy reading about more substantive issues. Some of the commenters are excellent writers, too; I always look forward to their posts. Speaking solely for myself, I could do without the Christian-bashing and outright viciousness of some posters, but the fantastic writing keeps me coming back. I just skip over the posts from the mouth-breathing contingent. “Leave the presence of a fool,” the Good Book says, “for there you do not meet words of knowledge.” Words to live by.

  20. Mellllzy

    I’m going out on a limb and assuming the pro-gun ranters in this thread are mostly from the USA? I am not from the USA, I am from Australia. We had an horrific mass shooting many years ago and our CONSERVATIVE government acted quickly to tighten gun ownership laws. We have not had a mass shooting since. Australia is just one of many countries with tight gun laws, and just one of many countries that does not endure shooting after shooting after shooting.

    It is because of the ignorance displayed in these comments, the American exceptionalism tunnel vision, that makes the rest of the world think you guys are all bonkers. Your population is not special. You are all still humans, who at the core all have the same drives and motivations. What works in one country can and will work in another country. Remove guns from the equation, as other countries have, and you will see a reduction in crime and tragedy. Or you know, keep them, and keep your tragedy. Whatever works for you.


    • Bryan

      Australia’s violent crime and homicide rates have continued the same path they were on (down) before guns were banned. The gun ban did absolutely nothing and you would be exactly as safe from gun crime today as you would be had they not been banned.

      Same story in the UK.

      Gun ownership in the US meanwhile has skyrocketed, laws have been loosened, the AWB sunsetted, and murder rates have…gone DOWN??? :-O

      On the plus side, the governments there DID get to ruin an enjoyable hobby for millions of people, AND pat themselves on the back for DOING SOMETHING.

      But I admit, you’re right, we as Americans do live in daily fear of getting mowed down by all the psycho gun nut mass shooters among us. Why, two mass shootings just happened down the street from me yesterday on my walk home from work. I think I hear gun shots outside right now.

      • Mellllzy

        Bryan, you can still own a gun in Australia. You can still be a member of a shooting club. I have more than one friend who hunts feral pigs for fun on the weekend. I have farmers in my family and they all own guns. All those guns have a purpose, and all those people who own those guns understand the purpose is to kill a living thing. I actually don’t have a problem with people owning guns. I have a problem with people trying to pretend they are a symbol of liberty, not destruction.

        When guns are regulated, registered and strictly licenced, the number of guns out there available for nefarious uses is limited. And it’s not even a particularly bothersome process. You apply for a gun licence, you buy the gun, you register the gun, and every so often the police come around to check that you still have your gun and that it is stored correctly. They even give you a week or so notice so you can get everything in order if need be. Seems pretty reasonable to me, and no one I know who owns a gun feels otherwise.

        You have to have a licence to drive a car. You also have to register a car. You have to have a licence to operate heavy machinery. You have to have a licence to do many things. And that is because it is recognised there is some kind of skill or intrinsic risk involved in those activities. I don’t think anyone could argue that there is not some kind of skill or intrinsic risk involved in owning a gun.

      • I’m kind of going to believe the person who actually lives in Australia and doesn’t have a stake in the American gun control debate over the pro-gun American libertarian fuckwad when it comes to how things are going in Australia. No offense.

      • “Guns are not he problem in the world, people are.”

        Helloooo? People are an inherent part of this world. Guns are not. If we can’t control all of the people — especially the mentally ill — maybe we should put some sort of control on the guns.

        I gotta say, I have always known there are fucked up people in the world. I just didn’t realize how fucking many there are, the depth of their delusions, and that most of them congregate here, at this blog.

  21. The Pope

    I would feel much better about the whole situation if even one gun-nut had an ounce of common sense about the situation. But they’re all turned up to 11 on their views. Luckily they’re easy enough to avoid. Just look for the people wearing camouflage.

  22. MZ MIZRY

    and the most obvious solution to something like sandy hook is of course to make sure that every grade schooler has an assault rifle. (just for protection.)
    thats just in case the deranged shooter gets past the heavily armed guards and electric fence around the grade school defense compound.

  23. NutSlut

    I’ll simply say this: The belief that all people should be allowed to own firearms to defend themselves and their beliefs tends to be held by individuals and groups devoid of any understanding that other people might not agree with them.

    Which isn’t a criticism, it’s simply an acknowledgement that everyone is the hero of their own story.

    Guns most assuredly do stop bad people from doing bad things. The problem, however, is how you determine what is and is not “bad”.

    Right now, you may wish to believe that your guns would allow you to stage some kind of heroic last stand in the face of religious and political liberty. Just like any patriotic Iraqi.

    • Bryan

      You’d like to tell a gay guy walking home from work late at night in rural Georgia that he can’t determine whether those rednecks in a pickup truck with shovels driving slowly behind him calling him a faggot queer are “bad” or not?

    • Greg

      I don’t agree with your post, but I support your right to post it. I do understand that the Constitution protects your rights to post your views, just like it also protects my right to own a gun.I don’t really think about staging a Epic last battle, but I do like piece of mind to know that I’m providing for my own safety and security. It funny your view of gun owners as Rambo type itching to get into some kind of gun battle, when in fact the majority of them are law abiding citizens with clean records. Then again the Media sets the narrative and masses blindly soak it up.

      Take a stroll down to your local gun range and talk to a few gun owners there. You might just find them to be ordinary people who like to express their rights…….

      • TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!!!!
        Is this the normal person at the shooting range?

      • Bryan

        Is that actually shocking to you? Do you fear that person? What is your mental picture of what that person is like, based solely on the gun collection?

      • Paul

        Honestly? That freaks the hell out of me. Someone with that much love for guns is looking for a reason to use them. Someone who collects something, usually collects them so they can use them. Cars, cameras or what have you. Just to be a dick head, this person is probably you(Bryan) and youre a gun nut asshole. Parents should be worried to have any kids around you and if they arent, they probably just as bad.

      • Bryan

        How do you envision this person using these guns? Is the only thing you can think of “shooting up a mall/school/movie theater”? Because honestly, that is 100% on you and is something you should work on introspectively.

        Millions and millions of people have guns that do nothing but shoot soda cans, paper or steel plates, and that that idea is foreign to you says a lot about your education on the issue.

      • Paul

        Ill try to relate in a way im familiar with.

        I am a hobbyist photographer. I own multiple cameras. Each camera has a different function. I have a 5Dmk1, 5Dmk2, X-Pro1 and just sold off a X100 that I dont use. I like cameras. I own multiple cameras. I see a need to own multiple ones. What I dont see the need for, is to own more than 2 of said camera(incase im shooting a wedding and need to identical camera bodies to switch lenses out with).

        I dont have the exact count from that video but there are well over 50 guns there. From the looks of it, most have similar traits to the one next to the other. Meaning, they both perform relatively the same function. Some of them look like collectors items and some are just copies of the other. Does one person really need that many guns? Are the firing characteristics of each gun that different to warrant owning that many? Is shooting a can that much fun with that many varieties?

        Am I missing the point of having that many?

      • Paul

        *two identical bodies

      • dronemaster

        Apparently you are missing the point. And you assuming everyone who owns or collects guns is just itching to kill someone would be offensive if it wasn’t so fucking lazy.

        I’m in Canada and I own several dozen guns. I have 5 handguns in 10mm, just ’cause I love the cartridge so goddamn much. I collect classic Smith & Wesson revolvers ’cause I think they’re beautiful. And yet, I’m a lover and not a fighter. I have no violent tendencies whatsoever. I went through a very tumultuous divorce a few years back and yet it never even occurred to me to reach for a gun, because despite Canadian politicians insisting the very presence of guns in the house is a threat to women, the fact is that angry, misogynist assholes, not inanimate objects, are a threat to women. Pretty crazy notion, eh?

        You ask why anyone would need so many guns, implying people like me must be unstable, even dangerous. I don’t really need to have three different versions of Boris’ “Mabuta No Ura” either, and yet I do. I even have that ridiculous Brazilian CD version with the dried flower petals in the box, because I collect vinyl records and CDs as well as guns, and yet nobody impugns my reputation for collecting music.

        Sometimes I’ll pull out a record just to admire the artwork. That’s what a collector does: derives pleasure from owning and handling objects. It’s silly, but it’s harmless. Similarly, I don’t only enjoy shooting my guns. Sometimes I just like taking’em apart. Admiring the ingenuity of their design. Cleaning them and then putting them back together, like a puzzle.

        It’s fun, I enjoy it, and yet I constantly have to defend and justify myself to intolerant, prejudiced assholes who let fear dictate their position in an incredibly complex and harrowing debate. As long as we keep focusing on the gun control aspect of the issue, we’ll never get anywhere. Forget guns, concentrate on social and mental well-being. Basically, I wholeheartedly agree with Celebrity Poo, Bryan and Dox up there (between 4 and 5).

        In the name of all left-leaning, socially-conscious, peace-loving gun-owners out there, I implore you all to think with your head instead of your heart and look into the reasons why Americans are so intent on killing each other instead of wasting so much energy fretting over the means with which they kill each other.

        Guns aren’t going anywhere. Let’s concentrate on caring for each other a bit more.

      • dronemaster… If everyone believed as you do, there would likely be no problem. Unfortunately there a bazillions of nutbars out there who do not have your same take on things. That, in my opinion, is where the problems lie. And if we can’t control the nutbars, our only option is to control firearms.

      • Maybe so, but they don’t “shoot soda cans, paper or steel plates” with UZIs, AK47s or 50mm machine guns. I don’t know about other folks of my ilk, but I don’t have an issue with people owning or shooting guns. I have a problem with people — especially crackpots — having unlimited access to weapons that are undeniably designed to kill a bunch of people in a matter of seconds. Guns need to be controlled, NOT outlawed. Doesn’t that make sense to you gun freaks?

  24. Carl

    Had Lanza shown up at that school with a knife in each hand there still would have been a bunch of dead children. What everybody keeps forgetting is that Lanza wanted to get even with the little children that (he felt) his mother loved more than him.
    As a gun owner, I can tell you that my guns will never harm anyone unless I feel my life or my family’s lives are in danger. My guns are secured and aren’t a danger to anyone. I’m sorry that Sandy Hook happened, It’s heartbreaking. Having said that, I didn’t have anything to do with it. This is about a failure in our mental health system. This is about a failings of an irresponsible mother to safely secure her firearms from her troubled child.
    Comparing gun owners to survivalists? Really? If someone breaks into my home or tries to rob or carjack me, I can assure you that I plan to survive. Does that make me a survivalist? Maybe. Let them come to your house instead.

    • Ted

      And if the security guard at the school had a gun, it would be over before it started.

    • Bryan

      A lot of antis associate carrying a handgun directly with preventing mass shootings for some reason. Of course, with mass shootings being ridiculously rare, it really has nothing to do with it, but I think it could make for an interesting experiment to illuminate the core idea. Working with the false pretense that people carrying guns just want to be heros at the next mall shooting:

      You tell a gun control advocate they have to spend the next hour in the J Crew at the mall. You also tell them that, with 100% certainty, someone will come into that store during that hour with a shotgun (I say shotgun because most of them pretend to be okay with hunting weapons) and a couple boxes of shells to start shooting up the store and the customers within. Or, a couple guys with large knives will come in and stab customers at random, to eliminate that gun issue altogether.

      Before they go in, you say “You have the option of bringing a pistol in with you. Or not.”

      How many would turn that down?

      That’s essentially a way of illustrating the rationale behind concealed carry with respect to gun ownership and self defense. It’s better to have an option, even though the odds are tiny that you’ll never need it. In all likelihood, you’ll never touch it outside of a range. But if you do, you’ll sure be glad you had it.

      • Uncle Phil

        Or since it’s absolutely guaranteed that someone is coming, you could just pick up the phone and call the cops and evacuate the store. I realize that doesn’t allow for pithy one-liners and an elaborate revenge fantasy with you as the hero, but it isn’t my fault that your scenario was easily trumped by level headed behavior.

      • Bryan

        Hahaha, that’s rich. Yes, a guy comes blazing in with a shotgun and you’ll call the cops and wait for them to come save you. I guess they’ll be able to identify your corpse when you get there, at least.

        Here’s a pithy one liner for you: when seconds count, the cops are minutes away.

        You’re the one living in fantasy.

      • Bryan


        Typo: They’ll be able to identify your corpse when THEY get there.

        Seriously, I’m still laughing at what kind of idiot would think the police would be there in time to save you from a murderous maniac. Talk about delusional.

      • Uncle Phil was sticking to the details of your own retarded scenario:

        “You tell a gun control advocate they have to spend the next hour in the J Crew at the mall. You also tell them that, with 100% certainty, someone will come into that store during that hour with a shotgun (I say shotgun because most of them pretend to be okay with hunting weapons) and a couple boxes of shells to start shooting up the store and the customers within. Or, a couple guys with large knives will come in and stab customers at random, to eliminate that gun issue altogether.”

        See, in your elaborate scenario, everyone knows ahead of time the ne’er-do-wells are coming. Phil was pointing that out.

      • I love the fact that Bryan assumes that because he’s armed, he’ll be level-headed and rational if shit starts happening. If you’ve ever had real bullets flying anywhere near you, especially in a random civilian setting, you know it’s a pants shitting experience. Having been caught in the crossfire of a gang shootout, my thoughts sure weren’t “I wish I could return fire” and more along the lines of “I wish my Altima had a higher ground clearance so I could get all the way under it.”

  25. Mike Walker

    So a guy deserts his wife and mentally disabled child and then blames the mother when the kid goes off… sounds legit.

    • Thank you for bringing that up. I am not defending Adam Lanza’s mother or her decisions, but the counselor pointed out that Mrs. Lanza was practically becoming a prisoner in her own home BEFORE Mr. Lanza decided to seek greener pastures. I’m sure there was plenty of delusional thinking going around in that family, because having a child that dysfunctional must be devastating. But the mother was there every day, probably terrified of her own son and too far in denial to admit it. Where was Dad? Checked out, dating, and chiding his ex-wife because his son would not return his e-mails. Adam Lanza’s father had no custody limitations. He chose not to check on Adam or his mother for two years, because frankly, it was probably a lot easier to send a check than actively help raise his own son. I am not defending what this mother did by any means. But that boy had two parents. Only one was doing the soul-crushing job of trying to raise him every day, while Dad’s contribution was… not that.

  26. moonbeams

    I read the article in the New Yorker and all I could think was that
    they knew he needed to be institutionalized by the time he
    reached adolescence. When they took him to the Yale university study, and the psychologist noted that he was controlling his mother’s behavior and she was a prisoner in her own home, that was the time for them to act.
    I think the father and mother were in denial about the severity of his illness. He needed to be institutionalized. For them to think they could manage him even as it grew increasingly obvious he was getting worse, deteriorating before their eyes, tells me they were in denial.They had to take hm out of school, he continued to unravel, there was nothing normal about him. There is no way I would have been taking him shooting, or even let him know I had firearms in the house. The young man was a time bomb from the time he was 14 probably. If he had been committed and treated and tested they’d have determined that he couldn’t function out here at will. Now the father is left with massive guilt and astruggle to try to understand. But the sad fact is he can’tgp back and undo it. There is no point in second guessing himself. He needs to find a way to do something good with what’s left of his life.

  27. I always clean my guns while I read hyperventilating posts about guns.

  28. Johnny Barbells

    55 comments on this post… approximately 85% of which were pro-gun ranters… a bunch of people who gave Fish a ton of shit for his ass-backward libtard views, telling him to stick with T&A pics and leave the politics alone… a bunch of people who stated how they’re sick of Fish continually posting this crap that no one wants to see on this site… and yet, a bunch of people who took the time out of their day to sit and read the ENTIRE POST, then took the time to sit and type out an angry rant… even though any retard could’ve read the headline, immediately deduced the subject matter, and just move right along to the khloe kardashian post… well, any retard except them, apparently… *lol* and they say WE manufacture rage…

    • Johnny Barbells

      Jeebus… in the 5 min it took me to write that, it went from 55 to 78… boy, i’ll tell ya’, nothing brings out the ol’ corner-of-the-mouth froth like guns, jesus, niggers, and gays.

  29. Because all survivalists go on shooting sprees and are responsible for other peoples actions… oh wait they aren’t. And by this logic all gamers will at some point go on a shooting spree.

  30. Deacon Jones

    You know, Im both ways on this.

    I think the ease with which guns fall into the blackmarket (straw purchasing through gun shows) is a joke.

    But then, on the other end, as I get older and witness time and time again, year after year, how governments kill more people on Earth than any and all crimes committed by citizens, it makes me second guess my stance on gun control. See Syria and Argentina, and soon, Crimea.

  31. Typical, blame everyone but the person who committed the crime. How about this, it happened because a sadistic piece of crap wanted it to happen?

  32. Thanks for sharing the article, Fish. Good read.
    I’m not against having a gun in the house for protection, and I have a 9- and 11-year-old. But we do keep it hidden, with the ammunition in a different location.
    That being said, I do NOT see the need to have a semi-automatic weapon under any circumstances, unless of of course, you are a deployed member of the military.
    Just my two cents..
    Also, all of you busting of Fish for speaking his mind, fuck off. I like my men funny AND smart.
    Carry on.

    • Bryan

      You know what I don’t see the purpose of?


      I don’t drink, you see, so any ban would have zero affect on me. Besides that, alcohol is directly responsible for untold numbers of dead children via drunk driving accidents or abusive drunk parents. The latter alone leads to horrendous societal harm as children are raised by drunks. We won’t even get into all the murders, rapes and violent crimes that occur because the perpetrator is under the influence. Also, alcohol is completely unnecessary. It’s poison for your brain that leads to health problems.

      Now, I’m not trying to take away your booze, Jane. I’m reasonable. I propose registration and tightened regulations on alcohol sales. No more than 1 can of beer (or equivalent) per person per day. Nobody needs more than a little bit to take the edge off after a long day at work. Further, you need to get a special permit that shows you understand the consequences of driving under the influence and other health effects. To acquire the permit, simply take a mandatory 12-hour class and pay the $150 fee and go downtown to get fingerprinted, easy as that.

      You’ll vote for my proposition, right, Jane? I mean, we have to do SOMETHING for all the kids who are harmed by alcoholic parents or killed by drunk drivers, don’t we?

      • The Dave

        Are you sure you know what a “semi-automatic” weapon is?

      • Bryan

        I assume you’re trying to ask Jane? Because I most certainly know exactly what a semi-auto is and own many of them.

        So far, I haven’t murdered any white babies yet, though. Sigh.

      • The number of times that you deny killing white babies/chlidren makes me think that you actually have killed white babies/children. You bring it up so often and so unnecessarily that I can’t think otherwise.

      • Bryan

        Nah, just mocking moronic antis who think guns are only used for one thing: murdering their white babies.

      • I’m a moron because I don’t agree with your stance on weapons? Does it make you feel like more of a man to put me down like that? Whatever.
        Do I know what a semi-automatic weapon is? Yes, BECAUSE i HAD ONE POINTED AT MY HEAD when I was 28 weeks pregnant and working at a bank.
        So excuse me if I said the wrong type of gun way up there. Obviously you are superior.

      • The Dave

        I was asking Jane, otherwise it would show up like this.

      • Bryan

        I dunno, in my browser your response to me is in the same column as your response to Jane, indistinguishable. My bad. :-)

  33. Best shit you’ve ever written. Good stuff. Thanks. Gonna share….

  34. Fish has declared that having “guns in the house” equals “survivalist”.

    Look in the comments above, boys and girls, the complete f**kwit actually makes that level of utterly moronic, useless, and incorrect generalization in his continuing piss-fest against guns and gun owners.

    When Fish does anything about all the non-celebrities that gun each other down, usually in cities with the strictest gun laws, it’d begin to seem like he had an opinion that wasn’t pure bulls**t on the matter.

    However, he’d also have to contend with the incredible stats (y’know, from the really-real world) that show just how mind-bendingly STUPID his constant hate-fest on guns has become.

    Any time Fish has gone on about politics or guns, he’s been a blatant idiot with some of the most easily overturned “points” in internet history. His dumbass prejudices take away form what is, otherwise, a funny site.

    Kinda sad to ruin it with f**ktard behavior.

    • Bryan

      Now now, give him a few minutes on MotherJones.com and he’ll turn up plenty of gun “statistics” that have been twisted through the wringer at the VPC to fit his team’s predetermined narrative.

  35. The Dave

    Did that dude use an assault rifle? I seem to remember it being hand guns and an “assault rifle” was in his car.

  36. shutupandsing

    Strange how these anti-gun nuts always cry and moan about these
    isolated shootings YET they never, ever mention the wars going on
    in Chicago and other inner cities.

    Fish is broke up over the children? I guess black children don’t
    matter or is it that black people as a whole don’t matter to these
    anti-gun nuts? One of the major platforms of the early Progressive
    movement was the sterilization of the inferior black race. Maybe
    the insane violence in our inner cities is the Progressives new
    “sterilization” plan?

    Fish is kind of funny at times but he needs to stay away from
    politics and the heavy shit. It just makes him sound like a ignorant

    • We don’t bring it up because it would be redundant, what with all the Teabillies ranting about “THE BLACKS” day in and day out.

  37. Virago

    I think that his parents were sort of in denial about the seriousness of what he had. I cringe when I read about how Nancy would make his food in a particular way, make sure to not wear shoes that he said were “too loud” when she walked, never allowed people to ring the doorbell and so on. She unwittingly made things ten times worse for him. People make a big deal out of her having guns, but that’s not the issue I see. I see that she was creating a bubble world around him that wasn’t maintainable. Instead of teaching him to deal with things she allowed him to retreat from it. Therapy and medication shouldn’t have been an OPTION for a 7th grader (i.e. he’s a minor and if he is need of medication then his parents should see to it that he takes it). I don’t want to blame mom, because I truly feel she did what she thought was right. Hopefully other parents will learn from her mistakes.

  38. Not even gonna comment on this story cuz clearly more than enough has been said in this thread. I just really, really, want to know….
    Do conspiracy theorists have a way of setting up their internet to give them alerts on all the “hoaxes” and “shams” they’re currently into, whenever someone happens to write about it? Cuz they just seem to show up. How would they know to come to a titty site? Do they google these things everyday while eating their breakfast of Cheerios and tears? I’m honestly super curious…

    Ha! I realize now my non-comment comment is actually kind of a comment. Go figure! Sometimes my wiliness just sneaks the fuck up on ya doesn’t it?

  39. j/k

    I’m angry.

  40. ” still can’t look at the images of terrified and crying children evacuating their school while heroes,”

    LOL, that 1 image. no one saw anything. Also they conveniently removed some of the surveillance cameras before the shooting. Worst their NEW surveillance cameras did not have a recording option. Screw this propaganda.

  41. James

    Maybe Sandy Hook happened because of insane psychotropic drugs pushed on children?

    Liberal logic is a scourge upon the earth.

  42. Marla

    HTF did Daddy become so disconnected he allowed this situation to fester. Does he really believe he bears no responsibility b/c he wasn’t living in the same house with his insane child? And surely he knew his ex-wife was mentally ill. I guess the newbie wife was more interesting to spend time with.

  43. Well, that escalated quickly…

    But seriously, why so many Faux News lovin’ trolls above?

  44. Kronaz

    Oh good, more politics. Let’s all read your well thought out and not biased at all opinion.

    loljk, you’re a moron.

  45. hoi polloi

    Hey Fish, since when is a crime scene such as this razed to the ground? Those who worked on the demolition were made to sign non-disclosure agreements, and no media were allowed near the school.
    Guess they couldn’t run the risk of an independent investigation of the crime scene. Someone might have picked up on the absence of blood on the carpets.
    This post was laughable – obviously you’re toeing the company line. Good to know you’re a dutiful little corporate media shill.

  46. Witch Tripper

    Yep no reason to prepare because when the shit hits the fan the government will be there with open arms to take care of you. Just ask the folks in New Orleans how that worked out for them after Katrina. Better yet ask the Native Americans how well the government has taken care of them. You dont have to be a gun nut but being prepared is something you should think about.

  47. YWFN

    Because all of the stupids think that guns kill people all by themselves, not the mental defectives who pull the trigger. Your basic inability to connect dots is astounding, editor. Go change your fucking diaper.

  48. Jess

    Wow. Not a goddamn one of you was there, know what happened and you spout the company lie like the good little gerbils you are. It’s cool. Just keep looking at tits and giving ad revenue to another government shill site.

  49. ace11

    Interesting article to get people all riled up

    So stories about Kim Kardashian’s tits are off limits?

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