Adam Driver Is Your New Darth Vader Person

February 27th, 2014 // 25 Comments
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So remember how Adam Driver from Girls was supposed to be Nightwing in Batman Vs. Superman? Just kidding. He’s the new Darth Vader guy in Star Wars: Episode VII. (Why didn’t I just say Sith when you know I absolutely know the word? I’m trying to touch a vagina, and never mind, it just ran under the fridge. Goddammit.) Variety reports:

Sources tell Variety that while no deal is done yet, the “Girls” actor is close to signing on to play the villain in J.J. Abrams’ “Star Wars: Episode VII.” Exact details are unknown, but the character is said to be in the vein of iconic “Star Wars” villain Darth Vader.

If you’re assuming this is the part where I joke that Lena Dunham is the new Jabba The Hutt, give me some credit. I’m not a complete asshole.

She’s the six boob lady.

Yarna d'al' Gargan

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  1. Jennyfurr

    More like your new Jughead for the Archies movie.

  2. That is one goofy looking dude. Ugly and just plain goofy.

    • Swearin

      He’d make a good Sith then, non? I mean, Anakin was banging a goddamn space Senator, he was the Jedi’s Chosen One, all he had to do was not do evil and even Yoda would have come around eventually. The universe was his damn oyster, but then some old man comes along and fellates his ego enough that he helped murder the only black Jedi Master ever.

      So at least when the 6.5 foot goofy looking dude who had to bang a space whale 3 times a season in his previous life, turning to the Dark Side will be more understandable.

  3. Fish medically that’s 3 pair of boobs fugly lady. The lovely one with three boobs was the Arnie Total Recall and the shite 2012 Total Recall babe. God help us all if he’s the Vader. Even the rookie Stormtrooper would LOL at that Lord.

  4. anonymous

    Well if he is Darth Caedus, Han and Leia had one goofy looking kid.

  5. eatme

    Big fan here. I believe this guy is just simply unable to deliver the cringe worthy, transparent performance that Hayden Christensen gave us. Very good sign that they are casting outside the box.

  6. Beer Baron

    Dude looks like he’s Mr Potato Head’s kid.

  7. Inner Retard

    Given how creative J.J. was coming up with a villain for the Star Trek sequel the SW villain will probably be called Darth Vader. But he won’t stop there, no…

  8. bonerspunk

    I forgot how many times I’ve jerked it too the six tit bitch, but it’s pretty high….no where near the tugs I’ve made for metal bikini Leia, or hologram Leia.


    may the sith be with you, darth jar-jar.

  10. renotastic

    Dork Maul.

  11. judgingyou

    I’m just going to say this once and no one judge me for it, but I’d rather have Hayden Christensen or however it’s spelled. Leave my childhood alone!

    • eatme

      …so terribly surreal (not in a good way) for ANYONE to be calling Star Wars ep. i – iii as their childhood keepsake. For fucks sake, ep. 1 – 3 absolutely destroyed the legacy that was ep. iv – vi. They couldn’t possibly do anything worse than what was i – iii.

  12. I bet we get a fat Princess Lena.

  13. Freebie

    Say what you want about his looks, he is a very talented actor and he is extremely masculine. Actually he looks much better than the above picture. He is the most interesting and watchable person on Girls.

  14. Hugh G. Rection

    Lena Dunham isn’t the six boob lady, she’s the NO boob lady.

  15. The Pope

    Darth Sinus.

  16. He’ll play the cousin of General Grievous… “Generally Egregious”

  17. The need for the helmet still makes perfect sense, so good casting.

  18. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Lena isn’t pretty enough to play Jabba.

  19. Darth Sheldon.

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