Ace Johnson. Jessica Simpson’s Naming Her Unborn Son Ace Johnson.
Considering she basically named her daughter Maxi-Pad, I just assumed Jessica Simpson would name her unborn son Kotex Tamponstick III and call it a day. Except apparently she’s decided to go the less-traveled route of porn star fighter pilot. Us Weekly reports:
“[She’s] told people she’s going to name the baby Ace!” the source told Us Weekly. Simpson, 32, is already mom to 10-month-old daughter Maxwell. The singer hasn’t yet revealed how she and Johnson, 33, decided upon the name, however.
In related news, Gwyneth Paltrow just kidnapped a baby boy and named him The Penis Red Baron. “I almost went with Cock Maverick, but it lacked a certain European, how you say, vas deferens se qua.”