Ace Johnson. Jessica Simpson’s Naming Her Unborn Son Ace Johnson.

February 20th, 2013 // 45 Comments
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Considering she basically named her daughter Maxi-Pad, I just assumed Jessica Simpson would name her unborn son Kotex Tamponstick III and call it a day. Except apparently she’s decided to go the less-traveled route of porn star fighter pilot. Us Weekly reports:

“[She's] told people she’s going to name the baby Ace!” the source told Us Weekly. Simpson, 32, is already mom to 10-month-old daughter Maxwell. The singer hasn’t yet revealed how she and Johnson, 33, decided upon the name, however.

In related news, Gwyneth Paltrow just kidnapped a baby boy and named him The Penis Red Baron. “I almost went with Cock Maverick, but it lacked a certain European, how you say, vas deferens se qua.”

Photos: FameFlynet

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    Nice earrings

  2. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    The Ghost
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Moses! Those titties, I need to motorboat’em

  3. “Dude, that’s an ace johnson you’ve got” – Future joke made toward her son in the prison shower

  4. I would let those melons Chris Brown me to death…

  5. ace11

    How about naming him Nick??

  6. I guess “Pitysex McBigTitsKiddo” doesn’t fit on the birth certificate.

  7. JC

    “Weight Watchers Contract Loophole” was too hard to spell.

  8. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    sexyman48
    Commented on this photo:

    When I glanced at this it looked like her left arm was real long and skinny.

  9. After the KISS guitarist or the pet detective? Somehow I feel we can rule out the Dr. Who character.

  10. Inner Retard

    Somehow still better than Bronx Mowgli.

  11. Buffalo Chips

    That kid is just suicide waiting to happen. Imagine the expectations placed on someone named “Ace”. Now imagine he inherited his mother’s moronic genes.

    • schmidtler

      He’ll be one of the heirs to Jessica’s Billion dollar mumu empire, and his mom has huge, sweet jugs. I bet he’ll be just fine.

  12. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    skunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Ace Titties

  13. Cock Dr

    She was made to breed.
    She’s carrying around kegs of milk on her chest.
    Anatomy = Destiny
    When IS that wedding?

  14. “My parents are assholes” should be plastered all over that birth certificate.

  15. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Mortimer211
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, it was my dad who inspired me. When I told him I was pregnant again he got a longing expression and exclaimed ‘Ace!’ Not really sure why.”

  16. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Rob
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna call her fat but…. jesus

  17. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    CarlT
    Commented on this photo:

    2 gallon jugs of milk.

  18. reinhard heidrich

    i guess “asshole” was already taken?

  19. Off topic here, but can somebody get rid of that Ke$ha picture on the Buzzworthy feed? How about a Prince Charles story? He seems to show up regularly for no reason that I can fathom (looking at you, Photo Boy).

  20. cc

    Dick Trickle was taken.

  21. schmidtler

    OK, this kid could have ended up as the offspring of Nic Cage, who is beyond broke, names his kids shit like Kal-El, and spends whatever cash he does get his hands on on shit like dinosaur bones and mini pyramids for him to be buried in, or, he could have been Goopy’s kid, gotten a much worse name, and been raised on wheat grass juice and organic air. But no, he’ll have a mom with huge jugs, piles of cash, the name ‘Ace’, and live off deep fried macaroni and cheese and koolade.

  22. CrashHell

    I hope she has the decency to make his middle name, “Ventura”. If you want to give the kid a leg up in this world, start him off right!

  23. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    With tits like this, she can call him whatever she wants. Her husband isn’t going to notice for at least a year.

  24. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha, Cock Maverick….that’s awesome!

  25. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    “Make way! Big rack coming through!”

  26. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello Jessica… It’s your breasts. We’ll be doing all of your thinking from now on!”

  27. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Move the hair honey, we’ve got pictures to sell. After all, nobody pays you to sing anymore.”

  28. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    *sniffff*
    “Yep, your cleavage-sweat does smell like butter!”

  29. Mama Pinkus

    Ace Johnson, Action Figure

  30. lawn

    You know, when we were pregnant, we didn’t even want to know the gender, let alone name the kid and tell everyone about it.

  31. So…what…was “Cock Drizzle” already taken by someone else in her family?

  32. The Rock 103 Morning Crew in Memphis used to air a segment where they’d read “Bad Baby Names.” Real baby names. From newspaper announcements. The one that’s been stuck in my head all these years (pun definitely NOT intended) is Tampaxia. I miss the Morning Crew. (Shout out to Tim, Bev, and Bag Dog!)

  33. rubbydubby

    She may have packed on some pounds, but those tits look delicious and look good on her. WOW.

  34. I almost had a nephew named Max Cocking.
    Thank god it was a girl.

  35. Okay, I’m into fat chicks now.

  36. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hammer her like she deserves, at least I think she’d be disease free.
    BOOBS.
    God bless America ya’ll ! !

  37. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    david
    Commented on this photo:

    i don’t ;like the glasses, but u look beautiful .

  38. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Wood
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love grab her big tits as I fuck her balls deep in the ass, she is hot with those massive tits. A perfect cumdump….yummm

  39. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
    Wood
    Commented on this photo:

    I want slide my cock between her big fat tits and shot a load on her face. Great tits Jessica!

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