LL Cool J Thinks The Confederate Flag Is Just Like A Pirate Flag

April 10th, 2013 // 70 Comments
LL Cool J Brad Paisley
'Accidental Racist'
LL Cool J Brad Paisley
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After the entire Internet had a field day with Brad Paisley and LL Cool J‘s song “Accidental Racist,” you’d assume whoever’s handling their careers would’ve taken them aside and said, “For the love of God, don’t try to make this better by talking even more about it.” And they’d be absolutely right because LL Cool J went on Good Morning America today and not only said people should stop being bitter about slavery, but that the Confederate flag’s like a pirate flag. Via Mediaite:

“(S)ometimes I put a skull and crossbones on and, you know, my wife gets upset with me, but I’m not a pirate. … So if my man got a Confederate flag on, that doesn’t mean he’s a confederate soldier.”

Without exaggerating, that is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in all my years writing the site, but let’s talk about something even more important than conflating the goddamn Jolly Roger with a flag that represents an entire region’s violent attempt to form a new country solely because they weren’t allowed to own black people like cattle. Something like LL Cool J’s wife getting mad at him because somebody might think he’s a pirate which proves women really will find anything to nag about it. WHEN WILL THIS OPPRESSION END?!

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Quentin Tarantino

    Black Card Revoked!

  2. ThisWillHurt

    “Welcome to the club.” – Wayne Brady

  3. JC

    Right on, LL! I have a swastika tattooed on my forehead, and when I walk around, libtards are all like, “Ooohh, look at him, he’s a neo-Nazi,” but it ain’t got nothing to do with that. It’s just a shape, people, like a heart or an upside-down cross.

  4. GH

    Better get your history straight. The war was not over slavery.

    • Yes, yes it was. I’m not even ‘murican and I know that!

      • Stacy

        Read the history books. The war started over States rights, NOT slavery. In Lincoln own writings he would have let the States keep slaves if they would stop fighting. Liberals and pissed off blacks are the only ones who still push the lie.

      • Proud Yankee

        Yeah, the war was over states’ rights. States’ rights TO HAVE SLAVERY. The Confederate Constitution made it illegal for a state to ban slavery, they didn’t give a shit about states’ rights.

      • werwer

        LOL, yeah, a state’s rights to own slaves. go and read the official declarations from the states themselves, where they explicitly cite slavery as the reason for seceding. states rights… LOL. go read the corner stone speech by the VP of the conferderate states of america.

      • mike

        I am pretty sure, the American Civil War started to preserve the Union after southern states seceded from the Union. The reason why those states left the Union is because they felt the Federal Govt. was infringing on their rights (owning slaves and expanding slavery in the U.S.)and extreme political tension.
        Former Pres. Lincoln did not abolish slavery in the latter part of the war allowing them to be free in the North and joining the Union Army.

      • Exador

        Read a little deeper. It was about money. Specifically, the tariffs that the North was exacting from the South, mostly in the trade of European finished goods and Southern unfinished goods (cotton, etc). It was called “The War of the Tariffs” long before it was called “The Civil War”, or “The War Between the States”.

      • hotasswife

        Unbelievable how many people comment on here that have no idea what they’re talking about. Anyone who says the civil war was fought over Slavery is a total moron. There were a handful of people in the country at that time that gave two shits about the rights of black people, and they certainly had nothing to do with the war. They were too busy using what was known as the “underground railroad” to try to free slaves. History class in public schools taught you that the civil war was fought to free the slaves because that’s what’s right and right wins! Tariffs and Industrialization. If you don’t know what those two things are, then you’re still a moron. That’s what the war was over, feel free to read an actual history book if you want to learn more, but to say the confederate flag is akin to slavery is just showing everyone how stupid you really are. I’m not from the south, I just got a decent education.

      • If you were so smart you would understand that the tariff issue came as a direct result of slave labor. Without slave labor there would be no cotton to export and therefore no tariff.

        Personally I don’t think you understand shit about shit. Prove me wrong. Explain how tariffs led to the war? Explain to me the tariff issue? Who wanted them and why?

        Furthermore, explain how industrialization led to the war? Go ahead, I’m listening.

    • Yeah, I heard the jury’s still out on history.

      If you think it was about “states’ rights” then ask yourself: what particular right were the Confederate states fighting for?

      • If it was entirely about slavery, why were there slave states in the Union?

      • You’re asking an Englishman to educate you on your own history? lmao

        Fish, break out the bikinis and boobs already!

      • More like posing a question for which those espousing your half-aware point of view can never find an answer. And as far as history goes, the American South had strong movements to do away with slavery prior to the war on more than one occasion. Care to guess which nation made economic and political moves to prevent it?

        Request for bikinis and boobs seconded, though.

      • GH

        “violent attempt to form a new country solely because they weren’t allowed to own black people like cattle”

        Not a true statement. They were allowed to own slaves at the time. The southern states tried to succeed over economics and slavery was part of those economics. It comes down to what it aways comes down to in war……money.

      • Joe Blow

        What about the Franco-Prussian war? That war was started over James Franco wanting some prussy, wasn’t it?

    • When you get down to the nitty gritty, it was absolutely about slavery. But to suggest that every southerner hated black people is not fair. in fact, Lee, who detested slavery and secession, was first approached to command the Union army. Other generals including Pickett and Longstreet hated it too. The issue of slavery polarized the nation, no doubt, and led to the war. But like the Union army, the Confederates had many reasons for enlisting…and flying that flag

  5. A pirate walks into a bar, and he’s got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender sees him and asks, “Hey, what’s that steering wheel doing there?” The pirate says, “Aaarrrr, it’s driving me nuts.”

    Sorry, what were we talking about?

  6. Deacon Jones

    Who’s Brad Paisley?

    He looks like a….”Fat guyyy in little leather pannnts”

  7. Goose

    Did you go to high school, Fish? Genuinely curious, because your opinions are consistently premised on incorrect assumptions. It’s cool though – you seem awesome.

  8. I have never wanted to hear Paul Mooney give his opinion more than right now.

  9. If you are really that offended by a goddamn confederate flag, you probably need to be disenfranchised and have a police dog bite your ass for a reality check.

    • It’s the symbol of a racist state. A state founded on defense of slavery and racism. Do you not see how some people might find that offensive?

      • I see how people get overly fucking concerned about shit that only has any fucking meaning if they let it.

      • Confederate Flag means Dukes of Hazzard to me.

      • Joe Blow

        And Daisy Dukes. (The short shorts, not that really, really old actress.)

      • Joe Blow

        Fucking A. Where’s the tits and ass?

      • So basically, McBeef, you’re cool with people wearing swastikas again, and those who get offended by it should be disenfranchised, etc.? I am so taking you to a kosher deli for our next dinner so I can goad you into saying that in a loud voice.

      • surely you can see a large disconnect between confederate flags stickers on the back of a redneck’s truck and slavery and between swastikas and bergen-fuckin-belson, even if the former are associated as symbols of the latter.

        People will wear swastikas whether you are offended by it or not, because that’s their moronic business and (at least in the US) they are protected by the first amendment to do it.

        I’ve chose to navigate life with the idea that I can only control my own life and not that of others. I don’t understand why people seem operate under the notion that, “I have a problem with your ideas, therefore you have a problem that needs to be corrected.” It’s easier to just get the fuck over it, and let them continue on with their ignorant ass.

        Save the shit flipping for racist/antisemitic actions and forget about the idiots, their symbols, and their ideas.

      • Whatever. We’re still going to have deli. I’m fuckin’ sick of watching you guzzle down unlimited pasta e fagioli soup.

      • ah, you know i heartcha, ya big lug

      • “It’s now very common to hear people say, ‘I’m rather offended by that.’ As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more… than a whine. ‘I find that offensive.’ It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I am offended by that.’ Well, so fucking what.” – Stephen Fry

      • SLiver

        Thanks for posting that, Iveski. Being offended is not a right. People can be offended all they want. Suck it up, for fuck’s sake. No wonder the world is in such a shit state…whiners who have all day to watch and be offended, never mind that they never care that they are offending others and hypocritically think it’s not a problem. Lots of heads up lots of asses.

    • Hung Well

      I find people easily offended by ideas and symbols rather offensive. They are abstract, intangible objects. Actions are what count.

  10. ty

    LL Cool J is a Jack Ass looking for attention

  11. EG

    Take a history lesson. The war was not over slavery

  12. Ebony and Ivory.
    Live together in the Kardashian family.

  13. Tronald Dump

    Lemmy Kilmister wears Nazi shit all the time and he is not a Nazi. Get back to tits and upskirts you hack.

  14. Bane

    Marketing stunt. The only thing missing were two black and white pianos..

  15. The war WAS about slavery….only apologists for racist southerners say otherwise.

    But dont try to detract fromthe main point that a Confederate Flag is akin to a Nazi flag.

    I’ll just leave this here from earlier:

    OK, let’s a have a look here:
    Hick-boy says he’s a “proud rebel”. WTF? What are you proud of, that the “rebels” wanted to destroy our Union and maintain slavery? If you’re proud, then everything you moaningly sing after that is bullsh*t.

    Second, that flag is like a swastika flag, OK? It’s not cute, it’s not “heritage”, uts the symbol of an enemy that tried to destroy the United States, so burn the f*cking thing already. And dont fly it over your State Houses unless you want to secede…and AGAIN try to break up our Union.

    I love how he says he’s “picking up then pieces”…Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, Reagan when he visited the SS grave sites in Germany. Nice.

    Just get over it you southern twats, you lost a war that was designed to destroy the United States of America. You were the enemy of our country and as such, you do not get the right to flaunt your racist imagery.

    Oh and LL….Your Do Rag is not synonymous with a confederate flag in any way. It does not symbolize racism and oppression.

    • Tronald Dump

      Somebody get this guy a blowjob and a valium, stat.

    • EG

      WOW! You really really need a history lesson.

    • alex

      “Just get over it you southern twats, you lost a war that was designed to destroy the United States of America. You were the enemy of our country and as such, you do not get the right to flaunt your racist imagery.”

      This reminds me of the Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart’s definition of obscenity, “I know it when I see it.” I guess most of America has become okay with this iconography since there has been no public outrage. They know it when they see it. Unless of course its simply FAKE outrage or faux puritanism. Who the fuck are these people on television anyway? The ones declaring this or that to be offensive? I think its all a question of perspective. In Tunisia a woman is going to be dragged into the streets and murdered for showing her tits on a facebook page. (google that one, it just happened and lots of hot chicks protested across europe topless!) PERSPECTIVE is the key to all of this discussion.

  16. LL also thinks that white stick deodorant is invisible once applied.

  17. Zero fucks. I give them to you now.

  18. It’s your word? Ha Ha Ha Ha!

  19. eh

    Is this the section where lily white people shame a black man for having an opinion other than the one they selected for him? Cause I want in on that, it’s the most fun you can have since slavery.

  20. Colin

    I think the thing that bugs me about this song is that he’s not saying he’s not being racist, but that it’s an accident so it’s okay. Like it’s more important to defend ignorance than to actually educate people and get rid of that ignorance.

    • Cheedle

      THIS. This seems to be what everyone is about now. “Mind your own business, they’re allowed to have their own opinions.” Looking the other way has worked real well in the past, hasn’t it?

  21. prescription designer glasses

    Thanks for sharing! :)

  22. “Are you a fan of NCIS: Los Angeles?”

  23. congrats on becoming relevant again.
    fuckin moron.

  24. Lipstickq

    The civil war was about economics not slavery. The North wanted Western states to be free, and white.

  25. skunk

    LL is right. everyone loves pirates but they were robbing and plundering and raping. but its ok now.

  26. I heard his rap shit on the “Opie & Anthony Show” on XM over the radio. His lyrics SUCKED!!!! Stay at CSI. Your rap days are done!

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