Boner’s body found. [Insert lost erection joke here.]

February 25th, 2010 // 174 Comments

Andrew Koenig body has reportedly been found in Stanley Park Vancouver, according to TMZ. His parents are expected to attend a press conference at 5 PM PST.

In light of all this, I hope you’ve learned a lesson about naming your sitcom characters after engorged penises which haunt them for the rest of their lives, Hollywood. For shame. For shame….

NOTE: Included the 2003 fan-film Batman: Dead End featuring Boner as the Joker.

superficial

  1. Kill Bill

    My question is this: what does this have to do with the Insane Clown Posse?

  2. dave

    This is as far as I can tell the first time The Super… has posted a death with a bad tasteless joke, normally death’s are the only posts with a hint of respect ( which I always likes because death sucks ) so please go back to taking the piss out of dumb hollywood whores and leave the dead to rest in peace.

  3. Elmyro

    Oh jesus fucking christ you nitwits. Dead people don’t have feelings. Living celebrities whom the Fish makes fun of all the time might feel a degree of mental anguish over being made fun of, but do we care? Of course not. This taboo about speaking ill of the recently deceased is nonsense. And I doubt the insult is going to have an appreciable impact on Andrew’s family because they already have their fucking hands full. This is so trivial by comparison. RIP Boner.

  4. RIP

    “Oh jesus fucking christ you nitwits. Dead people don’t have feelings.”

    …But, their families do, you nitwit.

  5. Erica

    #104 – and Koenig’s family is busy scouring the superficial for reactions today, I’m sure..

  6. Nick Pollotta

    For shame. This poor man took his own life and you make a cheap joke?
    This web site used to be funny. Now it is only mean.
    I will not return.

  7. Mat

    Thesuperficial.com…. out of my favourites in 3..2…1

    I used to truly enjoy your wit and sarcasm. You were probably my favourite gossip website. I loved how you knew when to be funny and when to be respectful. I was always impressed by your appropriate words when someone passed away. You just couldn’t do it because of a silly name…. Shame on you! Surely you won’t miss my 20 hits a day, you’ve got plenty of followers. I will miss the respect I had for you.

  8. .

    I bet everyone who plays Joker will eventually die!

  9. Aaron

    Jesus you fucking people need to check yourselves. Thousands of people die EVERY FUCKING DAY and you’re not all morose and “too soon” and “oh, we should respect people who commit suicide or die from auto-erotic asphyxiation or have large ASSES because they are people too!!!”

    BOO FUCKING HOO!

    This guy had problems, sure. 99.999% chance not one person posting on this site EVER KNEW HIM. Get over yourselves. I don’t care if this site or any other wants to start cracking jokes about fucking dead babies. In fact, I welcome it when it pisses off self-righteous assholes who lament the decline of society and how “this site used to be funny” because society is no worse than it ever has been. Murder, rape, and general human brutality has been par for the course since Geico reps started dragging their bitches by their hair and clobbering each other with rocks. And so has humor…including the kind you estrogen enhanced douche nozzles think is “off-color” or “in bad taste.”

    You can bet some australopithecus was grunting jokes at his mate when the monkey man in the next cave committed suicide by saber-tooth and his cunt of a partner effectively grunted back her disappointment with his low-brow comedy musings and felt he should respect their dead neighbor. But that’s mostly because she was fucking him on the side and now lamented only having her mate’s tiny BONER to suck on.

    And I have ZERO respect for suicides. They’re just thinning out the herd of its weaker links and I THANK them for it. I do feel sorry for the relatives he just fucked over but they’re not likely F-ed up enough or big enough losers to trowel through user comments on random web blogs to ever see or read this and if they are I take it back.

    So what have we learned:
    1. Suicide is a dick move
    2, Boner proves it
    3. You are not the humor police
    4. Bite me

  10. Giorgio!

    Man the day we start joking about someone dying is the day that we are in serious trouble. I get that this is just a joke but there is nothing funny about someone killing himself no matter who he was.

  11. Jade

    All of you who are saying ignorant shit about a dead man are assholes. Let the man rest in peace…………..just sayin

  12. Some kid

    Hi, I am 12 yrs old and what is a boner?

  13. julia

    Okay, feel free to laugh at the fact that people die. You are heartless, therefore smarter than and above us. Good for you. Are there any fucking boundaries left at all with you people?

  14. Fernando Montelbon

    I enjoyed the boner joke. fuck all these white knighting vagina mongers.

  15. Fernando Montelbon

    “For shame. This poor man took his own life and you make a cheap joke?
    This web site used to be funny. Now it is only mean.”
    I will not return.

    GOOD. piss off.

  16. Guy

    Every post in this thread is from one guy in Peoria, Illinois. Excluding this one.

    Okay, including this one.

  17. Toolboy

    Wow. Hearing Boner passed is kind of sad. Like most of you, I was a real fan of Kirk Cameron (pound for pound a better actor than the legendary Alan Thicke!) and the whole Growing Pains cast, even the snarky little gay brother (Perez was his name or something like that). But for me, it was always about the Boner. I would loop Growing Pains episodes back to back on VHS tapes and run them 24/7 in my bedroom. I would go to bed thinking about Boner and you guessed it, wake up to Boner too. Sometimes, in the morning, it was hard to pee because there would be Boner, doing something crazy. Boner got me in to a lot of trouble later in life as I often listened to him and not to the brain inside my head. Like the time I was tripping and got arrested in an Elementary school cafeteria for trying to fuck the Wednesday meatloaf special while bathed in students fecal matter and singing the score to “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”. All I could say at the sentencing was the tag line “That’s Our Boner!”.
    But I digress.
    My point is, Lighten the fuck up people. Yeah, the guy had problems and I am sure that his family feels bad (someone should have called Jamie Spears), but this site isn’t Entertainment Tonight.

  18. bbw283

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at- A g e m i n g le @ c.o..m a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

  19. Paula

    How about some respect for a gentle human being who just passed away. And what about some respect for his family going through a very difficult time right now. Rest in peace, Andrew.

    P.S. Go to hell, Superficial. To everything there is a season…a time for humor but also a time for dignity. But hey, why am I losing my time here…

  20. -I got a Rough complex & you got a problem-

    Well this is depressing!

    I hope you move this post down the pile (quickly) without notice Fish…..

  21. Joker

    Q: How do you get rid of a Boner?
    A: Whack it.

  22. Rough:six feet under snow

    I dont remember this guy at all from 1 or 2 episodes Ive glanced @

  23. The Listener

    Superfish,
    This is a pretty sad situation. Not a good time to make a joke.

  24. Hamtrack

    @Fernando Montelbon

    Go back to Mexico.

  25. captain america

    pfffffffff, he was impotent anyway.

  26. cbtld

    Poor Boner. He had a hard life.

    Maybe they will erect a statue in his honor.

    What a big mess Boner made at the end.

    That Boner ended abruptly and prematurly.

    Boner went down too soon.

  27. jenndougall

    this is why i know the new writer is terrible. god you will never fill the old writer’s shoes you fucking loser.

  28. jenndougall

    BTW, I am the old writer. KTHXBAI!

  29. you're such a dicknose

    Wow, Titties McDicktugg you are seriously demented and have anger issues. Do us all a favor and kill yourself. kthxbai

  30. RIP

    “#104 – and Koenig’s family is busy scouring the superficial for reactions today, I’m sure..”

    I’m sure they aren’t, but that’s besides the point, isn’t it?

  31. Done

    Erased from favorites.
    SEEEE YAAAAA!

  32. Cindy

    I will never look at your site again you pathetic loser. A man just died who was seriously depressed and you think it’s a joke? Like others have said, what if it was a family member of yours. You make me sick you freak!

  33. People, please!!
    What the writer posted was tacky. But this site is always packed with snark (whether it’s good or bad doesn’t matter). Anyone who’s been here before should know what to expect. To be pissy about it is rather silly. This site is what it is. The old writer was MUCH better than the current one, but the general tone is the same.

    That said, I do feel sorry for his parents. I don’t know them, and I didn’t know their son. But I’ve no doubt that they’re devastated, and their sorrow is probably made worse by a sense of guilt that they didn’t do more (that they probably couldn’t have done more is beside the point). What happened is a shame, and it’s sad for those involved. I know I wouldn’t want to have to go through the rest of my life feeling like I failed my child.

    117 said this ain’t Entertainment Tonight. 117 is right. If you want a fake doleful gaze as she reports on the death, watch Mary Hart. But don’t expect that here. I’m just saying.

  34. the ultimate font of knowledge

    i sense a great disturbance in the karmic force

    a bitch, she is

  35. mamamiasweetpeaches

    I was not a huge GROWING PAINS fan , but seeing that in the 80s we didnt have cable yet I pretty much watched it every week. The odd thing was Mikes friends Boner and Eddie were my favorite charactors! Its like a dull episode got BETTER when they showed up . They were comic relief and whenever Mike would get in trouble he was with him. They were like the friends your kid hangs out with that you start to worry when you see him head out the door with them!

  36. BonerJokes

    I love this site. It scares me a little that Fish can read my mind, though – only in a much more clever and succinct way…I’ve never read anything I didn’t already play on a loop in my head. It’s funny that there are people who DON’T think this is hilarious.

  37. alex

    I’m a long time reader of the superficial and I’m certainly going to keep coming back, but yeah, Fish, this is low. I’d tell you to your face if I could. And to any of of people saying this is ok, just remember it when someone in your family dies. Understand that this is NOT about a celebrity death, this is tragically sad event no matter who it is.

    Suicide is terrible because the person had lived their life in misery and their loved ones constantly worried about them. Take a look at pictures of Andrew and you see sadness in his eyes. When they do eventually take their own life, their family members blame themselves for not doing enough to intervene.

    This is “thesuperficial.com”, not “thetotallyinsensitiveasshole.com”. Sure, I’ll keep coming back, but Fish, I seriously question your decency now.

  38. Volcanoes

    I know how it feels to be drowning in water that deep.

    I hope you found your peace, Andrew.

  39. Buonasera

    Andrew deserves better than this. He was more than a former child star, and fans of the “Never Not Funny” podcast know this.

    There’s a fine line to walk here, but you’ve definitely crossed it.

    Insensitive + funny snark = you get a pass

    Insensitive + obvious joke = not what we’ve come to expect from The Superficial

    Feel free to rip on Kirk Cameron, however. He is an awful person whose initial release (“Mike and Boner could always work things out”) just served to reinforce the child star albatross that Andrew was trying to escape during his troubled years of depression.

    RIP Andrew. NNF fans will miss you.

  40. yayme

    @45 lol u sir, are awesome

    @pathetic griefers – good riddance… u won’t be missed

  41. What the hell happened to you?

    I’ve been reading “The Superficial” every day for three years and the irreverence appeals to my sense of humor, but this post wasn’t funny to anyone but but a moron. What’s gotten into you?

  42. Frosty53

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Fuck everyone of you that said it was too soon. We are talking about a one hit wonder named Boner. HeySeus Cristo!!!! Funny is funny and that is funny no matter if someone is dead or not. PLUS who the fuck cares about an 80′s TV star anyway???? fuck ‘em!! Keep it up!! I LOVE this site!! It brings me a warm feeling that I haven’t felt since I was in diapers.

  43. Katie

    I have been a fan of this site for years now, and this is the only time I have ever felt compelled to leave a comment. I have a pretty sick sense of humor about most things but this is too much. To make fun of someone who was so miserable that they felt ending their own life was the only way to escape is just in poor taste. My sister commited suicide 3 years ago, and i know what its like to be left behind by someone you love. To disrespect someones life like that… well it shows what this world is coming to… the fact that there are others like me who found this extremely offensive gives me a little hope for humanity. As to the rest of u heartless fucks who have been vehemently defending this post, I hope one day you’ll learn what it means to have a little tact.

  44. Elmyro

    @143 Translation: I love offensive humor but when the humor offends me it goes too far.

    Fuck you, Katie. People who received bad plastic surgery are offended by this site’s treatment of Tara Reid. Girls with herpes are offended by this site’s treatment of Herpes Hilton’s herpes. And people who have dealt with depression and suicide are offended by this site’s treatment of Boner’s self-kill. You’re not special, just another self-righteous hypocrite.

  45. Giorgio!

    Well there is a thing like karma so people making fun of someone dying, I expect it won’t be too funny when someone you love dies.

  46. Elmyro

    145, Except that there isn’t because Karma is make-believe, and if there WAS Karma, an equivalent karmic retribution would be somebody mocking the death of his/her loved one on a fucking website. Oooo ouch, my loved one is gone forever but somebody said something disrespectful on the internetz!!!

    Fucking morons the lot of you.

  47. G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G_G

    Grahh,

    People in the comments are making this way worse than it has to be. I don’t see why people need to lose faith in humanity – people unrelated to the deceased rarely personalize it. Really suprised about that?

    And where is the joke? The erection joke? Wordplay on the name of a character of his? People said worse things about nearly every celebrity death in 2009 – where were “you all” then?

  48. rex kramer

    KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

    PROPS TO 126

  49. rex kramer

    KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

  50. eric

    Funny to see peoples reactions. wahhh this celebrity gossip site went to far (FROWN)

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