Abigail Ratchford Posed For Playboy

In the midst of The Duggars being brought to their sanctimonious knees by a molestation scandal, Abigail Ratchford posed for Playboy like a godless jezebel, who – to our knowledge – never touched her sibling’s genitals while they slept, so she’s better than them. She also has huge, just huge giant breasts, which also makes her better than pretty much everyone. Here she is skirting TMZ’s questions about whether or not said giant, mountainous-you-could-say breasts will be naked:

And in case hearing her say words for an entire minute, rather than using her zeppelinesque mammary glands to wash a car was as agonizing for you as it was for me, here’s her washing a car with breasts that double as a floatation device and have been known to take atmospheric pressure readings.

Photos: LiveRich Media