Last year, a report surfaced alleging fashion houses were strategically gifting Snooki items from competitors in the name of covert branding sabotage. This year, Abercrombie & Fitch has apparently decided to say “Fuck all that,” and issued a press release letting everyone know they’ll pay The Situation – and the entire cast if they have to – to stop wearing its shit. E! News reports:
“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image,” a rep for the clothier said. “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans.”
Fans, customers, same thing. In any case, while the Sitch is the only one who got the formal namecheck in the statement, A&F hasn’t singled him out, and in fact offered the same payment to the entirety of the housemates.
“We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and we are urgently waiting a response.”
I rank the creation of Jersey Shore right up there with the AIDS virus, but this has to be the most sniffing-your-own-farts, elitist horseshit I’ve ever read in my life: “This association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand.” You sell over-priced T-shirts to teenagers at the fucking mall. Getting asses into your store should be your top priority, not ragging on Jersey Shore. That’s what I’m here for, and believe me, I’ve got it covered. You just stick to turning America’s youth into vapid, materialistic assholes. Also, this way we’ll both have customers and don’t have to go back to sucking dick. I don’t want to suck more dick.
sucking dick v. working at Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar, and yes, they call it “Grill & Bar” instead of “Bar & Grill” because Christian America is afraid of alcohol, true story