Abercrombie & Fitch Wants to Pay The Situation To Stop Wearing Its Clothes

August 17th, 2011 // 122 Comments

Last year, a report surfaced alleging fashion houses were strategically gifting Snooki items from competitors in the name of covert branding sabotage. This year, Abercrombie & Fitch has apparently decided to say “Fuck all that,” and issued a press release letting everyone know they’ll pay The Situation – and the entire cast if they have to – to stop wearing its shit. E! News reports:

“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image,” a rep for the clothier said. “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans.”
Fans, customers, same thing. In any case, while the Sitch is the only one who got the formal namecheck in the statement, A&F hasn’t singled him out, and in fact offered the same payment to the entirety of the housemates.
“We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and we are urgently waiting a response.”

I rank the creation of Jersey Shore right up there with the AIDS virus, but this has to be the most sniffing-your-own-farts, elitist horseshit I’ve ever read in my life: “This association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand.” You sell over-priced T-shirts to teenagers at the fucking mall. Getting asses into your store should be your top priority, not ragging on Jersey Shore. That’s what I’m here for, and believe me, I’ve got it covered. You just stick to turning America’s youth into vapid, materialistic assholes. Also, this way we’ll both have customers and don’t have to go back to sucking dick. I don’t want to suck more dick.

Glossary:

sucking dick v. working at Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar, and yes, they call it “Grill & Bar” instead of “Bar & Grill” because Christian America is afraid of alcohol, true story

Photo: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Clarence Beeks

    I’d like him to stop wearing his face.

  2. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    Weston Cage, WATCH OUT!!

  3. Did he have that in his ass?

  4. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Hemingway
    Commented on this photo:

    I take it they’re re-making Swamp Thing? WHEN WILL THE COMIC MOVIES END?!?

  5. rican

    Because a 20something year old moron from Jersey wearing their clothes will degrade a brand that advertises underage naked kids in compromising positions.

  6. Facebook Me

    That’s all right, soon the cast in 10 years or so will be trying out for parts in movies like: Fluffer #1 and Guy Standing on Corner

  7. yeah the brand with all those homoerotic ad campaigns wants to seem on the up and up. on the other hand it’s kind of a jersey thing to make a business pay protection. even if only on their image.

  8. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Gerbil in my Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he just pull that out of his ass?

  9. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Gerbil in my Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Stop with these assholes already!!

  10. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Gerbil in my Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Pull my finger bitch!

  11. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Go hard, go soft or go lightly, just as long as you fucking GO.

  12. So Abercrombie and Fitch…a brand notorious for selling padded bikinis for pre-pubescent girls, displaying ads showing nearly naked pre-teens in sexual situations, and homoerotic ads featuring multiple partner sex…they think The Situation is going to drag down their public image.

    Maybe I do want to live on this planet after all.

  13. And in related news from Bertolli, makers of olive oil:

    “We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with (read: bathing in) our brand could cause significant damage to our image,” a rep for the company said. “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand – and besides which, he’s a huge fucking bag of douche.”

  14. Plurp

    But isn’t the clientele of A&F made up entirely of douchebags and whores? Those are the only people I have ever seen shopping there. You’d think management would be thrilled that the most celebrated douchebags in America were wearing their shitty clothes. People are weird.

    • Alex

      Believe it or not, the only people (I don’t consider 18-20+ year olds kids) I’ve seen wear this brand are upper-middle class non-denominational church-goers. That would fit their description of their clientele somewhat.

  15. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    The Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude she looks jus lik Lil Kim

  16. “I rank the creation of Jersey Shore right up there with the AIDS virus,”

    -’NUFF SAID!

  17. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    barbosa
    Commented on this photo:

    j-wow has a body way beyond her years

  18. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Commented on this photo:

    she might be the only cast member they would give money to wear their stuff.

  19. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body is ok, but that face looked like it was hit by an airplane going at full speed.

  20. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Necrosis
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s getting too fat!

  21. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Whats with his “Gumby” fingers?

  22. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Commented on this photo:

    After a hard day of helping wipe Snooki’s ass.

  23. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Commented on this photo:

    When you said we could have sex this isn’t exactly what I was thinking of.

  24. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    Moments later, D-Whores shorts burst into flames, due partly from the toxic material she oooozed into them, but mainly due to the intense friction from those Thunder Thighs…..
    (Not pictured)

  25. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    WHo’s the frog head with Ronnie?

  26. Reece

    Translation: He’s too brown and ugly for our brand. Better yet ugly and brown.

  27. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    This idiot world be half a shot knock out!

  28. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Downwind from Deena….the face says it all.

  29. So they’re gonna make bank for having bad taste in clothes? Isn’t that special…. It’s amazes me that being fat, slutty, tacky and rude are now pre-requisites for being successful in the world today.

  30. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    * would

  31. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got the look……that DOUCHEBAG look…

  32. OK

    Next step: Pay a hit-man.

  33. If there is a God, i wish He would open up a hole and the entire cast of Jersey Shore would fall in and never be seen from again.

    • Satan

      He leaves them to me to ruin their careers so they sink into depression and drugs and alcoholism because they reject him.

      In fact most of my demon minions are working 24/7 in Hollywood. I’m thinking of outsourcing their jobs to China because the wages will be less.

    • Schmidtler

      Maybe there IS a God, and he did create a hole to throw assholes like the Situation in it, to keep the assholes from annoying the worthwhile parts of the universe – and then he also threw in all the assholes who have nothing better to do than troll snarky celebrity gossip sites in the hole too. Welcome to the idiot hole!

  34. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    The worst abs of all time.

  35. Vivian

    In the meantime, when “La barbie” (a drugdealer) was caught in Mexico, he was wearing a Polo London shirt and young kids ran in frocks to get one…”damaging for their image?” I’d say it’s more about the money than the image.

    It may not be the same here but it is always about the money and this case is not the exception.

  36. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    sharon
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we pay this beast to stop wearing shorts???? ugh my eyes

  37. Kimarie

    Don’t they pay models not to wear their clothes at their stores and in their ads?

  38. Satan's bitch

    No one could have put it better and been more to the point. I love you, Fish.

  39. Rob

    I was once told, while in the bar at Applebbe’s, that I couldn’t order a drink at last call because I still had some of my current drink left. I then proceeded to finish off said drink and was then told by the manager that I couldn’t order a drink at last call because it was Applebee’s Grill and Bar and NOT APPLEBEES GODDAMN BAR AND GRILL and they don’t promote the mass consumption of alcohol in their establishment.

    True Story.

  40. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    Gross
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t remember, is the Ewok section of A&F on the 1st or 2nd floor?

  41. zomgbie

    also the human species would appreciate it if u would plz stop carrying a pulse. tyvm.

  42. rough bringing back the classics

    Candidate for best grandstanding for 2011 so far by A&F, since that ideal customer does not exist.

  43. Kelce

    Don’t pay them anything. They already get enough money just for being idiots.

  44. Random Food Company: “We are deeply concerned that Ms. Polizzi’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image”

  45. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    scat cat
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf is with that dumb old hag snapping w her free metro pos phone…oh yeah that shot will be one for the archives! trailer…

  46. I guess New Jersey’s gonna pay them to stop spreading diseases.

  47. Dan

    You guys do realize that this is just a strategy for A&F to get free advertising… right?

  48. Star Droppings

    Every douche in an Abercrombie shirt looks like he’s auditioning for Jersey Shore. It’s ideal. Wal-Mart doesn’t look down on the cast of Teen Mom…

  49. JC

    “We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our ecosystem could cause significant damage to our image,” a rep for the planet Earth said. “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but we believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our Nature, and may be distressing to many of our resident organisms.” The rep continued, “Look, we don’t want to be dicks about this, but we will totally activate a fault underneath the East Cost of the United States that will make the so-called ‘Ring of Fire’ under the Pacific look like a gently bubbling brook. Don’t think we won’t.”

  50. Jersey Shore Cast Abercrombie & Fitch
    elle
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re all repulsive.

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