A John Mayer Penis Convention

March 15th, 2010 // 46 Comments

This had to be awkward. Both Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston appeared on Good Morning America this morning where I can only assume they were kept separate to avoid the following conversation:

JENNIFER ANISTON: So… read that Playboy interview?
JESSICA SIMPSON: You know I can’t read! *runs away crying*
JENNIFER ANISTON: *looks around, starts licking up tears* Ice-Bot Aniston: Rehydrating. Beep boo beep.

Ice-Bots. I’m on to you…

Jessica Simpson

Jennifer Aniston

Photos: Splash News
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Comments (46)

  1. lol | March 15, 2010 at 11:27 am

    probably the least funny post in a while…

    Reply
  2. small business health insurance | March 15, 2010 at 11:32 am

    john mayer is king

    Reply
  3. captain america | March 15, 2010 at 11:33 am

    just waving requires the least effort from the brains.
    …………THANK GOD FOR HER, folks!!

    Reply
  4. Crabby Old Guy | March 15, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Only way anyone would give a phuck would be if it was Jennifer and Jessica who fucked and there was a 90-minute HD DVD available now for $19.95 at Target. $29.95 for the one with the butterscotch pudding wrestling and hot oil Twister outtakes.

    Reply
  5. IKE | March 15, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Fitting that Jessica wore red. I imagine NAPALM would come in a wrapper that looks dangerous.

    Napalm vs The Firecracker. lol!

    Reply
  6. Stella | March 15, 2010 at 11:37 am

    god she’s fat

    Reply
  7. Athens | March 15, 2010 at 11:43 am

    I didn’t even know who the photo was of until I read down. Man oh man has she packed on the pounds. Sad really.

    Reply
  8. gosyco | March 15, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Watched the JS vid and all I could think about was the Joker.

    Reply
  9. JR | March 15, 2010 at 11:56 am

    I don’t care what anyone says about Jessica Simpson. I still wanna make friends with those magnificent chesticles.

    And Jennifer Aniston IS kind of an Icebot. If she played an actual Icebot in a movie, it’ll be the most entertaining thing she’s ever done. Yes, that includes Leprechaun. Yes, I do remember that.

    Reply
  10. me | March 15, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    Awwww…. George is so smitten with Jennifer!! what a boring interview.

    I was suprised with Jessica. She is waaaaaay more interesting and human. I never really thought anything about her but maybe she was just a Hollywood bimbo that got a break somehow (here voice is not all that), but I can see she is a lot more. Wished I could see her show. I wish the best for her.

    Reply
  11. Alli Watermelon | March 15, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    #6, I’m dying to know what you look like. Mind posting a picture? That was probably one of Jessica Simpson’s best interviews. What is fat on this girl besides her tits? Her body looks very healthy and fit to me.

    Reply
  12. ing | March 15, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    @1 .. you called it.

    Sounds a bit phoned-in this one …

    Reply
  13. the only opinion that matters | March 15, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    #6…Stella, you are out to lunch..and I agree with #11. She looks great to me…isn’t it a shame that there are actually morons like you out there that think that is what fat looks like. We are suppose to look like women with curves, not like 12 year old boys. Shut the F*#! up.

    Reply
  14. oWL | March 15, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Jessica looks fatter and fatter. Her future is Branson, where she still attract the hillbillies who grew up with fat mommies.

    Reply
  15. Anonymous | March 15, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    You just know John Mayer was at home this morning gettting blown by Taylor Swift while he sat back and enjoyed this broadcast.

    Reply
  16. schnib | March 15, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Fat or not, she’s turning into a butterface

    Reply
  17. juddles | March 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Aniston looks great. She blows Simpson out of the water.

    Reply
  18. Jenny | March 15, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Hmm…beefsteak tomato or Kool-aid man? Can’t decide.

    Reply
  19. Richport's Ghost | March 15, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    Moooooo…… 2 cows.

    Reply
  20. Blah | March 16, 2010 at 2:26 am

    Fish you certainly talk a lot about Mayer’s penis. I know you’ve heard rumors about it but come on. He’ll let you suck it i’m sure.

    Reply
  21. Blah | March 16, 2010 at 2:26 am

    15, you’re stupid. She’s hot as fuck!

    Reply
  22. Blah | March 16, 2010 at 2:27 am

    16 you’re stupid. She’s hot as fuck!

    Reply
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  26. GORGAN | March 16, 2010 at 3:48 am

    John Mayer’s mouth is the best thing that’s happened to Jessica Simpleton in years, it got people talking about her again, and not for another failure for a change, lol…

    Reply
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  31. captain america | March 16, 2010 at 8:35 am

    I wonder: ARE THERE STILL AMERICANS WHO BELIEVE IN HER?
    well…………………………………………………….GOODNIGHT.

    Reply
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    Okay,it took some time but i’m used now to the fact that these babes are actually able to make a conversation aside of being sexual objects.

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    That must have been quite shocking #33.Do we need to group hug!?

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  40. Steve | March 22, 2010 at 11:17 am

    I haven’t seen either of them for a while, but didn’t even realise that was Jessica – what has happened, can’t remember the last film I saw her in now, but her face looks completely different.

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