A John Mayer Penis Convention

March 15th, 2010 // 48 Comments

This had to be awkward. Both Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston appeared on Good Morning America this morning where I can only assume they were kept separate to avoid the following conversation:

JENNIFER ANISTON: So… read that Playboy interview?
JESSICA SIMPSON: You know I can’t read! *runs away crying*
JENNIFER ANISTON: *looks around, starts licking up tears* Ice-Bot Aniston: Rehydrating. Beep boo beep.

Ice-Bots. I’m on to you…

Jessica Simpson

Jennifer Aniston

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. lol

    probably the least funny post in a while…

  2. captain america

    just waving requires the least effort from the brains.
    …………THANK GOD FOR HER, folks!!

  3. Crabby Old Guy

    Only way anyone would give a phuck would be if it was Jennifer and Jessica who fucked and there was a 90-minute HD DVD available now for $19.95 at Target. $29.95 for the one with the butterscotch pudding wrestling and hot oil Twister outtakes.

  4. IKE

    Fitting that Jessica wore red. I imagine NAPALM would come in a wrapper that looks dangerous.

    Napalm vs The Firecracker. lol!

  5. Stella

    god she’s fat

  6. Athens

    I didn’t even know who the photo was of until I read down. Man oh man has she packed on the pounds. Sad really.

  7. gosyco

    Watched the JS vid and all I could think about was the Joker.

  8. JR

    I don’t care what anyone says about Jessica Simpson. I still wanna make friends with those magnificent chesticles.

    And Jennifer Aniston IS kind of an Icebot. If she played an actual Icebot in a movie, it’ll be the most entertaining thing she’s ever done. Yes, that includes Leprechaun. Yes, I do remember that.

  9. me

    Awwww…. George is so smitten with Jennifer!! what a boring interview.

    I was suprised with Jessica. She is waaaaaay more interesting and human. I never really thought anything about her but maybe she was just a Hollywood bimbo that got a break somehow (here voice is not all that), but I can see she is a lot more. Wished I could see her show. I wish the best for her.

  10. #6, I’m dying to know what you look like. Mind posting a picture? That was probably one of Jessica Simpson’s best interviews. What is fat on this girl besides her tits? Her body looks very healthy and fit to me.

  11. ing

    @1 .. you called it.

    Sounds a bit phoned-in this one …

  12. the only opinion that matters

    #6…Stella, you are out to lunch..and I agree with #11. She looks great to me…isn’t it a shame that there are actually morons like you out there that think that is what fat looks like. We are suppose to look like women with curves, not like 12 year old boys. Shut the F*#! up.

  13. oWL

    Jessica looks fatter and fatter. Her future is Branson, where she still attract the hillbillies who grew up with fat mommies.

  14. Anonymous

    You just know John Mayer was at home this morning gettting blown by Taylor Swift while he sat back and enjoyed this broadcast.

  15. schnib

    Fat or not, she’s turning into a butterface

  16. juddles

    Aniston looks great. She blows Simpson out of the water.

  17. Jenny

    Hmm…beefsteak tomato or Kool-aid man? Can’t decide.

  18. Moooooo…… 2 cows.

  19. Blah

    Fish you certainly talk a lot about Mayer’s penis. I know you’ve heard rumors about it but come on. He’ll let you suck it i’m sure.

  20. Blah

    15, you’re stupid. She’s hot as fuck!

  21. Blah

    16 you’re stupid. She’s hot as fuck!

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  24. GORGAN

    John Mayer’s mouth is the best thing that’s happened to Jessica Simpleton in years, it got people talking about her again, and not for another failure for a change, lol…

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  29. captain america

    I wonder: ARE THERE STILL AMERICANS WHO BELIEVE IN HER?
    well…………………………………………………….GOODNIGHT.

  30. Rhialto

    Okay,it took some time but i’m used now to the fact that these babes are actually able to make a conversation aside of being sexual objects.

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  36. I haven’t seen either of them for a while, but didn’t even realise that was Jessica – what has happened, can’t remember the last film I saw her in now, but her face looks completely different.

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  43. Commented on this photo:

    I would love to meet Jennifer Aniston one day just to shake her hand and give a kiss! I would love to introduce my daughter to such a great woman!

  44. Carol
    Commented on this photo:

    Jenniffer Aniston and I have the exact same dressing style, but she’s got more money…

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