A Word on Willow Palin

November 17th, 2010 // 229 Comments
Willow Palin

No, she’s not the one with the kid. — Yet.

While her mother continued to bait idiots into thinking she’s dumb enough to run for president just to drum up publicity for her new reality show, 16-year-old Willow Palin has been under fire today for calling a classmate “faggot” and other gay slurs on Facebook after he criticized Bristol Palin‘s performance on Dancing With The Stars. Somehow, the Palin camp thought it’d be a good idea to not only have Bristol confirm this wasn’t an Internet hoax, but also issue a half-assed apology that not only fails to address the hate speech, but results in just more Internet trash-talking. But that’s not why I am here. My issue is this plea from Mediaite writer Tommy Christopher who suggests this issue is merely kids being kids. And don’t worry, I’m not about to go near Bullying is the Holocaust Land that Madonna has already laid her dark claim to. (For those of you not digging these political rants, might I suggest Natalie Portman in a thong? It’s what the French call, “HOLY FRIJOLES!”):

There are probably already people who are looking to score points, political or otherwise, based on this story. They are wrong. Willow Palin is a child, and she is not fair game. If this story was not already halfway around the world, I’m not sure we would be reporting it. Since it is, though, putting it into the proper perspective is the only responsible thing to do.
There will be some who are tempted to use this as an indictment of Sarah Palin as a parent, or to connect it with Republican opposition to gay rights, or to paint Willow as a homophobe who didn’t fall far from the tree. These instincts are completely wrong, and they muddy the true lesson here.

While the author makes a valid point, and continues to do so in his post, he forgets one crucial element: Sarah Palin touts herself as the Über-Mama Grizzly With Magic Jesus Parenting Powers. When you put yourself on that pedestal and claim you have divine knowledge that guides you as a mother, don’t be surprised when you get called out when your spawn gets knocked up at 17 out of wedlock and/or spouts hate-speech on the Internet like every other kid out there. (Not that that makes it right.) If this were normal parents going through this, I could sympathize – to an extent – because they’re not walking around calling everyone heathens for letting their kids read Harry Potter. They’re just getting by while trying to raise uncontrollable ingrates, like any parent regardless of religious belief. On that note, I can only hope this situation demonstrates that every time a Christian mother wears squeezing a baby out as a badge of honor, or worse a prerequisite to run for office, because she “chose life,” she really did nothing more than choose the most biologically-satisfying game of baby-doll dress-up possible that’s still going to end in embarrassment and head-shaking because nobody has all the answers. Case in point, I’m a pastor’s son. (Dick joke, anyone?)

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. boOO

    Please Republican party do NOT nominate Sarah Palin..

  2. NeNe

    @Dude:

    You need to lay off the crack. It has nothing to do with hating on the Palins. It has to do with being an ignorant young lady. Anybody who posts derogatory comments, is an asshole. Plug your head out of the Palin’s ass, and smell the roses.

  3. Eric

    Wow. Great post. Seriously, every point I would have made, you did fairly.

    It may be possible that Trig is the smartest of the whole Palin clan.

  4. Rick

    What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina? Only 20% of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.

  5. rusty

    Awesome piece.

  6. KANYEISGAY

    Fish is pissed his messiah Barrack is a complete failure so it would seem.

    • you are dumb at life

      Whats a barrack? Oh I know it’s a place to house Military soldiers. Do you hate the military. Why do you hate freedom America? Someone get this guys birth certificunt

    • Whatever

      Keep deflecting, it’s adorable.

  7. miked

    She is 16. 16

  8. cc

    Well, I am going to wade into this, despite my better judgment. Palin gave one of her ‘speeches’ here not long ago, and a local journalist attended and wrote about her experience. Want to know how questions were handled? They had to be submitted in writing in advance, and approved. Then, at the end of the speech there was one designated, pre-approved questioner. He got up, asked the preapproved questions, and Palin delivered her pre-prepared answers. In short, she can’t answer tough questions and refuses to answers questions she doesn’t want to answer. She is incapable of working without a script (and a safety harness and a net).

    Showing up, delivering a canned speech and delivering to canned answers to questions she knows are coming isn’t a speech at all, it’s an advertisement.

  9. El Dukeh Picante

    Sarah Palin touts herself as the Über-Mama Grizzly With Magic Jesus Parenting Powers? She claims have divine knowledge that guides her as a mother? …Um, no. She doesn’t claim any of those things and never has. And I think her claim to office is based on her experience as a mayor and governor, rather than her pro-life position. Dude if you want to rag on Palin and her family you really don’t need to create these stories about them in order to justify it. It’s obvious to everyone that you don’t like her because you don’t like Christians. Have some integrity and admit it. Oh, and a teenage girl calling someone a faggot is Hate Speech? HAHAHAHA! This site is PC now? So no more fat jokes, ugly jokes, gay jokes on the Superficial? No misogyny, no objectification of women? What a joke.

    • Whatever

      Keep threading that needle, Dukey.

    • Sarah Palin

      Way to stick up to the “Main Stream Media”! We need to show these un-American, socialists, fascists, marxists, atheists that there is nothing wrong with choosing life, owning guns, loving God, and putting the blame on the Mexicans! (Turns back to crowd, bends over, winks)

    • Blech

      Do you know the population number she’s governed, jackass?

      Obviously not based on your idiotic comment.

  10. Sandy

    It’s awesome that Palin is obviously running for president in 2012. It will be entertaining to watch the other Republican candidates squirm as they try to avoid offending her fans while stating the obvious (that she’s a jibber-jabbering attention whore, nothing more). No serious candidate will get any media attention until Palin leaves center stage, and she’ll only do that when the crane operator finally attaches the hook to the collar of her red jacket.

    • Blech

      It will also be awesome to watch Obama beat her.

      Anyone, even someone with the attention span of my dog, can and will beat Palin.

  11. SLW

    Who the hell is Fish that everyone keeps talking about?

    Seriously, the wild reactions to these posts are great entertainment.

  12. Nano

    “No, she’s not the one with the kid. — Yet.”
    You ever get the idea that this family doesn’t see pregnancy and childbirth as a joyous occasion but rather as a grim inevitability?

    Willow/Bristol Palin forgot “Rule No.1 of the Internet”: Don’t come visit and talk shit if you’re not prepared to get owned from 360 degrees in every direction.

  13. See Alice

    Where are the Superficials pictures of the Obama’s kids ?

    • Whatever

      The Obama kids are smart enough to keep their mouths shut, not get pregnant or drunk (or both) and are in school.

      You know, like role-models, unlike the Palins.

      • Sarah Palin

        Sasha and Malia are trapped in their “Elitist, Ivory Towers”, sheltered from the “Lame Stream Media”. Don’tcha think it’s a little suspicious that they haven’t been interviewed on television yet? It makes you wonder, “Just what in the heck are these two ‘American citizens’ are hiding?”. (Winks)

      • See Alice

        Actually the liberal media is protecting them .

      • Blech

        They have brains. They know that liquor and whoring themselves aren’t going to open any doors. Unless, well, you count a gigolo’s door.

  14. awordongaybloggers

    my taint itches.

  15. What a 16 year old writes on her Facebook is VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!

  16. Sarah Palin

    Just another attempt by the “Lame Stream Media” to further their agenda on increasing the size of “Big Government” and our nation’s deficit. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going fist myself for 2 years and then quit.

  17. LJ

    IS FISH REALLY A PASTOR’S SON? That is the biggest news/point of this article.

  18. Tony

    ” Hatred, the only thing that lasts ”
    Charles Bukowski

    I’ve had black friends and gay friends but I don’t care much for either when I consider them as a group.
    I don’t believe in god but some higher power has made the white race the top dog on the planet and
    it will be like that until the earth is reduced to a cinder.

    • atomicmug

      “Love, exciting and new.”
      Jack Jones

      …come aboard. We’re expecting you
      The Love Boat, soon you’ll be making another run.
      The Love Boat, promises something for everyone.
      Set a course for adventure,
      Your mind on a new romance.

      And love won’t hurt anymore
      It’s an open smile
      on a friendly shore.

    • You don’t believe in god but you believe in a higher power? What, like aliens?

      But you’re right, the white race is the top dog, that’s why the population of the earth is predominately white…

      …oh, wait, no it isn’t…

  19. Sara

    While everyone else gets their panties in a bunch, I just want to say that I’ll keep reading The Superficial no matter what nonsense you put on here, so just keep doin your thing! :P

  20. Amy

    This is why I love you most out of all the other boobtube sites out there.

  21. Pangulin

    No offense meant,Fish….BUT…your blog is beginning to look a lot more like Perez “The Gay Blade” Hilton or a mainstream news blog than a celebrity boobs and butts site. Having an opinion regarding newsworthy individuals’ foibles and follies is one thing, but three posts in and you don’t show one boob or butt naked or nearly naked? WTF are you becoming? How about a better ratio of nudity to idiocy.
    Oh, I really should have said 4 posts because frankly the low quality images of Natalie Portman’s butt in a thong are so not worthy of your former high standards. That is not to say Natalie’s posterior isn’t a work of art…IT is! The picture quality is just lacking a certain clarity!

  22. Mama Pinkus

    it’s like this family and her tabagging fans took over the role from bush as being America’s national embarrassment

  23. TheDuuuuuude

    This backwoods cunt needs to stop flapping her gums and get herself knocked up… Then she’ll be a “star” just like her BIG sister… Does she have thunder thighs like Bristol????

  24. Mandi

    I. Love. You.

    Be my best friend? Please? Pretty pleeeaaaase?

  25. Bill

    What a pathetic publicity whoring disgusting family. Sarah don’t have time to run her own house let alone a presidential office. America can’t afford to take care of Jed Clampett family and all the illegitimate grandbabies that will come.

    • Blech

      Doesn’t she have a baby with a disability?

      Mama Grizzly, my ass. Palin is trying desperately to remain a MILF.

      Gone are her days o’youth, though. Gone.

  26. la chica

    i dislike the fact that calling someone gay is fast becoming a default teenage insult.

  27. Jay

    Sorry to tell you this dude, but a lot of folks like Palin and will vote for her .. just not the smug assholes who write for TheSuperficial.

  28. Blech

    “I can only hope this situation demonstrates that every time a Christian mother wears squeezing a baby out as a badge of honor, or worse a prerequisite to run for office, because she “chose life,” she really did nothing more than choose the most biologically-satisfying game of baby-doll dress-up possible that’s still going to end in embarrassment and head-shaking…”

    Fish, this was the most brilliant line of all.

    Bravo.

  29. As much as I think Sarah Palin is an idiot, no parent has 100% control of their kid, including uber-religious quitbull types. Teenagers learn things from their peers, not just their parents. Trying to reason with a teenager is like trying to nail jello to a tree. Bash Sarah as much as you want since she provides people with ample ammunition, but as far as her MINOR children are concerned, you should just drop it…

  30. josh

    FISH FOR PRESIDENT !

  31. Cardinal Fang

    New planet discovered: Obama can finally go home!

  32. JC

    Enough with this Hate Speech BS.. it is just a tool to rule over those you disagree with… and that can be used against you, if the other side gains power.. and history ALWAYS shows that power flexes between the two sides of any debate. So either grow up and remember what your Mom should have taught you about the Sticks and Stones.. or wait to be found guilty of Hate Speech, when we take back over :O)

  33. Captain Slappy

    My good God…I am so hoping “Willow” Palin turns to stripping, as I will immediately marry her (as soon as she turns legal), and go to Alaska, then we shall nuke the whine-bags who can dish it, but just can’t take it. Okay, maybe not “nuke”, but I figure I can fire some old, shitty, left-over ICBM’s the U.S. bought from the defunct USSR with food stamps, full of leaflets over Canadon’t warning the people at Bed, Bath and Beyond to cease and desist.
    Because…you know, gays go there and stuff. I heard it on Google, it must be true, no homo.

  34. one legged

    willow is hot

    true story
    wait 2 years and meet her for fun

  35. government

    well good

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