A Scarf-Less Johnny Depp Emerges From Hiding

It was only a matter of time before Johnny Depp had to emerge from his dungeonous wine cellar to promote Murder on the Orient Express. It seems like he’s been in hiding since June when he drunkenly mumbled some comment about assassinating Donald Trump in front of a bunch of English people. Folks were pissed at him for roughly 6.89 seconds before completely forgetting about it because they’re idiots and it wasn’t even that bad in the first place.

Anyway, Johnny Depp is back and looking… surprisingly dry? Are we sure this is the same dude? Did he have some clause in his contract that he wasn’t going to show up to the premiere looking like he just smoked cat litter in a Burning Man porta potty? If so congrats to the producers, that’s quite the accomplishment.

As for Murder on the Orient Express, I’m still pretty excited for this movie despite the trailers/teasers looking like absolute dog shit. Imagine Dragons over Dame Judi Dench? Are you fucking serious? That should be condemned by the Pope or something.

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