A-Rod’s New Lover Seems Like A Nice Guy

January 10th, 2012 // 55 Comments

“Dude, I can still see the parts that look a vagina. Knock it off.”

When we last left A-Rod, he was throwing a gladiator bikini party and/or making them stand guard in the trees around his island compound. I go back and forth. Anyway, after forcing them to battle lions wearing nothing but fig leaves and bronzer, he apparently chose the victor for his lover, so here’s A-Rod sunbathing with Torrie Wilson in-between weird, erotic jacuzzi back-biting sessions where no one knows whose testicles are who making it all the saucier. On that note, I don’t know how you look at these and not know without a shadow of a doubt that Cameron Diaz has a penis. I already gave it a name: “Mr. Nottaclit, Dicktorney at Law.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News


  1. Boner

    I would hit that… I would hit that repeatedly.

  2. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh please. If she was 2 inches taller and wearing angel wings, you’d want to tongue her butthole, Fish.

    • Myers

      lol yeah Torrie Wilson is f**king gorgeous. Look at her playboy spread from a few years ago. I am starting to think Fish is just calling these ladies manly because he is secretly hiding in a closet wishing this was guy on guy action.

    • Grandpa Walton

      I would tongue ARod’s butthole just to get the opportunity to tongue her butthole.. and I’m not gay.

  3. juss

    Having more muscle tone than the average girl is certainly superior to having cellulite or skin hanging off of your bones. And Torrie was a really hot chick around 2000 but I haven’t seen her lately..

  4. Phil Collins

    I bet she has a massive clit.

  5. Deacon Jones

    We used to watch her in college when she was a WWF diva, she still looks hot as hell

  6. Austin "Danger" Powers

    That’s not a woman its a tran man!

  7. it had to be said

    A-Rod already admitted to using the ‘roids. Now he needs to come out and be done with it.

  8. karlito

    A-Rod seems to like women who masculine it up with muscular bodies. it says a lot about what A-Rod really wants. i think he’s a closet homo because he goes through lots and lots of women trying to prove to himself that he’s a “man”. i bet he has a difficult time keeping his boner down when he’s in the team shower after a game.

  9. I bet she’s got the most difficult brown in town.

  10. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m scared…I mean scarred…actually, both work.

  11. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the funniest foto of the week?

  12. Huh

    There is nothing wrong with her.

  13. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bun of steel + little puss dog + A-Rod = gayest Miami Beach vacation ever.

  14. Sensei John Kreese

    Is that Nitro or Gemini?

  15. Donald Trump

    Ahhh difficult brown…..love those words. LMAO

  16. Someday when I get rich, I want a muscle chick that can crack my walnuts and brazil nuts between her ass cheeks.

  17. Venom

    A Rod sure likes his men, I mean women, nah I mean men.

  18. He likes sporty type fitness-head chicks. That’s his thing. You guys labor this point every friggen time this dude sticks his dick in another girl. His ex wife was like that, most of the girls he’s dated have been like that (including Madonna).

    It’s his thing. There’s nothing wrong with that and yes..boning chicks like that (guilty as charged) is just as fun as boning what you call a significant other.


  19. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    A-Rod giving the dude a nice reach around. See the smile?
    He’s a proper gentleman.

  20. stratacat

    he’ll never need to open another jar of pickles.

  21. Andy

    Yeeeah, really hoping for their sake that whoever wrote this article is female. Torrie Wilson looking like a dude? Get your eyes checked.

  22. Happy_Evil_Dude

    In other news, Cameron Diaz got implants

  23. Da Cheese

    I bet she gives him Donkey punches.

  24. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    That does not look anything close to a dude to me. Stop hating.

  25. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    I know she’s muscular, but she seems plenty feminine to me. She’s pretty attractive, though with the sunglasses on it’s hard to say. I’d think she were hot but breast implants on athletic builds are a turn-off. Then again, implants in general make my inner lesbian go off somewhere to read the stock reports until something better passes by.

  26. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Alex: So you know I’m just killing time with you until I can hook up Jennifer Nicole Lee, right?

    Torrie: Ditto.

  27. Anthony M

    What a moronic take on this hot chick, she has killer legs on her. Nice bod for sure, if you think she looks manly you are out of your mind.

  28. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, that’s a bigger bulge than my ex-husband had.

  29. Winnie

    Was Torrie one the original lady gladiators in the first photos? Loving all the Dude’s jumping on to defend Torries feminine wiles…

  30. funny

    she looks good nothing wrong i dont see too much muscles shes in good shape slim and fit

  31. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    smh what is up with all of these chicks with zero hips and no ass?? they look like dudes with implants and and a wig.

  32. James

    She used to be 50x hotter when she didn’t have that huge muscle tone. Ironically she was in the WWF at that point. Too much muscle.

  33. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    hate her or leave her, but all and all she loks like a better person than Cameron Diaz, she’s sound, healthy, and seems to be taking a genuine interest in her pets.

  34. tumble weed

    americans hate to see the truth: MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING!!

  35. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Well…he certainly has a “type”.

  36. The Royal Penis

    I’ll bet A-rod is a closet NAMBLA member and that he’s fulfilling his fantasy of sleeping with the boys high school wrestling team.

  37. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. I so want this woman to rape me. My fantasy is that we workout together and in the weight room we both notice that she can squat and leg press more than me. Her toned body develops a shiny sweaty sheen.She catches me staring at her and laughs saying “As if you have a chance…. I could use you though…” Next thing I know she’s uses a wrestling move to knock me down and has me trapped between her muscular thighs. She squeezes my head and my squirming and begging her to stop turns her on more and more. When she is nice and wet she forces me to go down on her, still trapped between her legs. Finally, after she is satisfied, as a mercy, she decides to ride me until I climax. I bet this is A-rod’s fantasy too. Anyone else have this fantasy?

  38. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow Jim. That does weirldly turn me on. Every since I saw Famke Jansen in that Bond movie years ago, I did think about being squeezed by a woman’s thighs. I just didn’t quite take it that far. I do find very fit women to be super sexy. Once you date an athletic chick you will never want to sleep with an anoxeric waif again.

  39. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    shes an ex por wrestler… of course she looks like that!!

  40. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Awe. Look at the vicious guard puppy.

  41. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    rubber band

  42. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    I just want to fuck her from behind.

  43. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this picture is depicting him fucking her in the ass.

  44. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    What a beautiful ass. I can fuck it for hours.

  45. Torrie Wilson Bikini Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    athletes sometimes prefer chicks that work out….

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