A-Rod’s New Lover Seems Like A Nice Guy

“Dude, I can still see the parts that look a vagina. Knock it off.”

When we last left A-Rod, he was throwing a gladiator bikini party and/or making them stand guard in the trees around his island compound. I go back and forth. Anyway, after forcing them to battle lions wearing nothing but fig leaves and bronzer, he apparently chose the victor for his lover, so here’s A-Rod sunbathing with Torrie Wilson in-between weird, erotic jacuzzi back-biting sessions where no one knows whose testicles are who making it all the saucier. On that note, I don’t know how you look at these and not know without a shadow of a doubt that Cameron Diaz has a penis. I already gave it a name: “Mr. Nottaclit, Dicktorney at Law.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News