Doutzen Kroes Discovers New Species of Dolphin/Kid During A Photoshoot

“Who’s kid is this? Who let their kid on the set- OH MY GOD HE HAS A TAIL!” More »


Proof That Attractive Women In Bikinis Can Do Whatever They Want

That’s CJ Franco, Danielle Lombard, and Shannon Waterman popping champagne on a boat that definitely doesn’t belong to them. More »


Amber Heard Will Hopefully Recolonize A New Civilization With Elon Musk

Because I’m petty towards anyone who is super smart, I’m going to say that they’re only dating to create an attractive, super-baby genius and there are no feelings whatsoever… More »


Mariah Carey Looks High And Other Link-Beef

*“Baby, baby, baby, shhhhh- mommy’s just trying to find her pizza station…”*

I also have enough link-beef to last the weekend and a bunch of weird pictures from a fashion show in Japan that scared the shit out of me. More »


Goldie Hawn Put Out on Her First Date With Kurt Russell

Back in 1983, way before you could send someone an eggplant emoji on Tinder, Goldie and Snake Plissken broke into a house and went to pound town. More »


¡Ay, caramba! Tyga Found Someone Who Looks Sort Of Like Kylie Jenner

A guy took these pictures from a bush that shows him hanging out with his ex-girlfriend’s body double and it’s soooo juiccyyyyy if you ignore the fact that a ton of white girls in LA look alike. More »


Where Is That Wind Coming From, Kate Compton? Wait… Don’t Tell Me.

Terrible fart joke aside, this is the best gallery the plug has delivered since I started writing here… Since the nips speak for themselves, I’m also going to talk about a totally unrelated dream I had last night. More »


Jessica Simpson Flashes Her High Beams and More Link-Beef

Apparently impregnating strippers can lead to messy divorces, Caitlyn Jenner’s book is full of shit, Zoe Saldana celebrated Halloween early this year, and Mike Pence weighs in on Jessica Simpson’s massive bazoombas… … More »


Live-Action Aladdin Movie Might Have Will Smith As Genie Because Johnny Depp Was Probably Busy

Every time another live-action remake comes out, it feels like Disney is just poking us with a stick to see if we’re still dead… we are… and so is Robin Williams- WHY IS THIS HAPPENING! More »


Pageant Queen Lisa Opie Forgets Her Headphones- Reads A Book Instead

Another action-packed day down in Miami! Tune in next time when someone semi-famous in a bikini can’t decide what they want for lunch! More »


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