78th Academy Awards opening

March 6th, 2006 // 21 Comments

If you happened to miss the Oscars this year, here’s the opening intro skit featuring a ton of previous hosts and a quick explanation as to how Jon Stewart landed the gig. There’s also at least two instances of implied homosexual sex, which probably would have been totally inappropriate if it weren’t for that silly Brokeback Mountain movie. Somebody better be working on a lesbian supermodel movie so that we can finally embrace them the way we’ve embraced gay cowboys. Lesbian supermodels are America’s real heroes.

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78th Academy Awards
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Comments (21)

  1. gossipmonger | March 6, 2006 at 8:26 am

    Funny, all this hype about Brokeback Mountain… and yet it didn’t win…I’d guess there are more than a few homophobes in the academy voters…

    Reply
  2. Bill Clinton | March 6, 2006 at 8:29 am

    meh

    Reply
  3. ce127 | March 6, 2006 at 8:35 am

    Brokeback Mountain sucked. Just because it’s the first of its kind… doesn’t automatically make it good.

    I wish people would open their damned eyes…

    Reply
  4. Wolfy23 | March 6, 2006 at 8:39 am

    “Lesbian supermodels are America’s real heroes.”

    Myspace headline, here I come!

    Reply
  5. Tracie | March 6, 2006 at 8:43 am

    ZZZzzzzz…..
    Nice to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman and “Crash” win.
    I HATED how the orchestra started to play as soon as the award was handed over. How about less of those dumb, annoying montages and more time for these poor folks to enjoy their 15 seconds of fame?

    Reply
  6. Fatty Boom-Batty | March 6, 2006 at 8:51 am

    Brokeback didn’t win for one simple reason. Cause it’s a story about fags, and God wouldn’t have allowed it…Well, maybe not God but Pat Boone wouldn’t have stood for it. Score one for the Republican Party!

    Reply
  7. daizycakes | March 6, 2006 at 9:34 am

    Actually, there was a movie about lesbian supermodels (Gia, anyone?) Don’t know if she qualified as a supermodel, but she was definitely a lesbian.

    Reply
  8. ESQ | March 6, 2006 at 9:46 am

    In response to #5 – Being a big Truman Capote fan I was glad to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman win.

    I think Jon Stewart did an awesome job!

    Reply
  9. Otto | March 6, 2006 at 10:01 am

    #3…that was hillarious…”Brokeback Mtn. sucked…” I get it. How about “Brokeback Mtn blows…” or “I just flew in from Brokeback Mtn and gee is my ass tired…” Man, I could make fun of homos all day…homos and fat people…and penguins. In fact, doesn’t Truman Capote look like a fat homo penguin? He cracks me up.

    Reply
  10. snark | March 6, 2006 at 10:48 am

    Hey ce127, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. I thought Crash was one of the worst movies I’d ever seen and walked out of it, but I’m not going to tell people to “open their eyes” if they disagree with me. And Brokeback Mountain isn’t the first of it’s kind…just the first that you’ve heard of.

    Reply
  11. ethicka | March 6, 2006 at 1:29 pm

    That was really entertaining.Jon Stewart pwns!

    Reply
  12. gossipmonger | March 6, 2006 at 1:38 pm

    As regards the comments of Fatty, it’s important to remember that Jesus loved everybody-something that
    clearly some of us forget. As far as the Reblican Party goes,
    it inappropriate to bring them up on a blog that’s intented
    to make fun of the rich, powerful and stupid-ooops-now I’m
    talking about those darned Republicans again!
    Just my opinion.

    Reply
  13. fametastic | March 6, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    Apparently there will be lesbian supermodels a go go in the new biopic about Dusty Springfield.

    Ok, one supermodel and possibly Charlize Theron. But close enough.

    http://fametastic.co.uk/archive/20060221/423/kate-moss-to-play-lesbian-lover-of-dusty-springfield/

    Reply
  14. gogoboots | March 6, 2006 at 3:09 pm

    I thought the opening was funny as hell. But yes it is a homage to Brokeback Mountain, and it did win plenty of Oscars, including Best Director, which is probably artistically the best one to win. The best picture was a shocker and I thought it was exactly because Brokeback is a movie about gay cowboys, and that won’t just stand, man!

    Reply
  15. ce127 | March 6, 2006 at 7:40 pm

    #10

    Um, yeah. It is my opinion, you’re right. I also know that there are many other movies out there featuring people of alternative sexual orientations. Frankly, I have no problem at all with them. I’m not bashing the movie because it was about a pair of gay guys… I’m bashing it because it wasn’t good.

    And when I said “first of its kind”, I was merely agreeing with many film critics who also believe that Brokeback Mountain’s only claim to fame is the fact that it’s controversial.

    Name another mainstream movie that’s been out that features some rough cowboy sex?

    Seriously, man.

    If you replaced one of the guys with a girl, I’m sure Brokeback would have been one of the biggest flops of the year.

    Reply
  16. Grphdesi23 | March 6, 2006 at 8:08 pm

    And by the way…….Ben Stiller…….

    YOU’RE NOT FUNNY!

    Reply
  17. hafaball | March 6, 2006 at 9:53 pm

    I always knew Georgey Boy was gay…oh well, that was pretty good heh

    Reply
  18. snark | March 6, 2006 at 11:10 pm

    #15

    Obviously it was your opinion, but you state everything as fact, and like anyone who doesn’t agree with you is a moron. And you did the same thing in your second post with the statement “I’m bashing it because it wasn’t good,” when you could have said “I’m bashing it because I didn’t like it.” More opinion stated as fact. You didn’t like Brokeback Mountain, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t good. I didn’t like Crash but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.

    Your posts sound smug, in my opinion. And Brokeback Mountain made with a straight couple wouldn’t have made any sense.

    Reply
  19. Tetsuo | March 7, 2006 at 7:56 am

    Oh, and Brokeback Mountain wasn’t the first of its kind. Top Gun was just about as gay like 20 years ago.

    @16: Nail on the head. I saw him come out in that green outfit and was immediately like “Oh. It’s Ben Stiller being a fuckwit again. Yawn.” He’s like a B-grade Adam Sandler.

    Reply
  20. mamacita | March 9, 2006 at 2:25 pm

    #12 As regards Fatty’s comments-it’s called sarcasm.

    Reply
  21. casino | October 11, 2007 at 3:49 am

    I loved Brokeback Mountain, and I hate when people say is about gays. is about love!

    Reply

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