Archive for September, 2011

Nancy Grace Was Wearing Nipple Pasties That Look Exactly Like Nipples

September 28th, 2011 // 65 Comments

Monday night Nancy Grace flashed what I’d say without a reasonable doubt was a nipple on Dancing With The Stars, except she’s adamantly asserting her innocence and has now taken to Twitter where she posted the above pic of her “Breast Petal” pasties along with claiming she wore an “industrial strength bra” because apparently Nancy Grace wants you to know her tits are the goddamn Hulk. Anyway, Casey Anthony laughing at the delicious irony aside, this is like me taping another man’s penis on top of my penis then going, “I don’t want people to see my penis.” Then again, there’s usually duct tape involved which hides a lot of the shaft, bad example. Can I start over?

Photos: Getty, Splash News

Molly Sims in a Bikini and Other News

September 28th, 2011 // 12 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Everything we know about Juggalos is wrong. [FilmDrunk]

- When George Clooney tells you to get naked in an Italian lake, you do it. [Huffington Post]

- Even Lindsay Lohan‘s freckle-a majora isn’t this grotesque. [Dlisted]

- Sean Lennon‘s girlfriend must have borrowed her pasties from Nancy Grace. [Lainey Gossip]

- Seriously, the wings at this pool are so good. That’s really why I go. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Lindsay Pulsipher presents: The Reason It’s Uncomfortable To Watch True Blood With Your Mother. [DrunkenStepfather: NSFW]

- Hot chicks doing Jessica Simpson impressions. [theCHIVE]

- This is how Rihanna toned it down after getting booted off that farm. [Popoholic]

- Angela Simmons joins all of these other naked people for PETA. [TooFab]

- Damon Lindelof confirms everything you thought about Lost after it ended. [Videogum]

- Anderson Cooper puts things into his mouth that have never been there before. [BuzzFeed]

- Chaz Bono is receiving the appropriate smiting from God for his affront to Christianity. [IDLYITW]

- 6 Laws You’ve Broken Without Even Realizing It [Cracked]

- The Hottest Female Golfing Pics Ever: Sink your put into this! *lowers head in shame* [Bleacher Report]

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Photo: Splash News

A Suggestion From Alexander Skarsgard

September 28th, 2011 // 37 Comments

NOTE: I also took the liberty of adding captions to these which I can almost guarantee aren’t funny as much as they give Alexander Skarsgard a weird accent and continue my assertion that he’s a raging sex offender unencumbered by Victorian sensibilities.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

January Jones Looks Like This Already

September 28th, 2011 // 48 Comments

If you thought to yourself, surely January Jones‘s body will pay the price for her adultery and carrying a bastard child to term, clearly you missed all those pics of her doing 25 hours of yoga every single day along with pretty much every post on this site that proves God doesn’t exist. So here’s January walking around with baby Xander looking just fantastic probably because that’s a nanny behind her, so you’re going to want to stop thinking, “Ha! At least that bitch isn’t getting any sleep.” Because she is. Tons of it.

God hates you.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, GSI Media, INFdaily

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.27.11

September 27th, 2011 // 7 Comments

“Nice gut, fatass!”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring proof that Angelina Jolie‘s child-gathering is getting out of hand because I’m pretty sure the tall, blonde one has an owner, Jonah Hill getting larger before our eyes and Taylor Lautner remembering that time he shook Justin Bieber‘s hand: *snifffffffff* “Ah, maple syrup with just a hint of angel cum.”

For some reason, I like Mexican Dancing With The Stars better,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Jessica Simpson is Probably Going To Announce She’s Pregnant

September 27th, 2011 // 33 Comments

Seen here in Mexico yesterday looking.. well, like Jessica Simpson, these photos prove nothing, Jessica Simpson is apparently pregnant for real this time, according to InTouch Weekly:

The 31-year-old singer recently attended the 32nd birthday party of her fiancé, Eric Johnson, where she sent back her glass of champagne for a birthday toast. As it turns out, the pair has something even better to celebrate. A source close to Jessica and Eric tells In Touch the couple is expecting their first child.
“She’s already having kooky cravings!” a friend shares, especially nacho chips dipped in chocolate — “which satisfy her urge for salty and sweet” — cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas.

So Jessica Simpson is larger and craving snacks. How entirely out of the ordinary. Welp, I’ve heard all I need to hear here, cancel the sonogram. We’re having a baby!

UPDATE: Celebuzz reports People has a “special pregnancy announcement” coming soon, but that could be anyone from Reese Witherspoon – Her fetus is my white whale, sue me. – to Chris Brown provided his girlfriend steers clear of stairs and/or elevator shafts.

Photos: Splash News