Archive for August, 2011

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.31.11

August 31st, 2011 // 21 Comments

“I said, I fucked your wife! God, this motor’s loud…”

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Alysa Milano looking exactly like a woman who’s ready to pop at any minute, and she did this morning, Alexander Skarsgard sniffing out a new lovah and Great Caesar’s Ghost, Adrianne Curry really is fucking random nerds now. Fetch me my replica lightsaber.

Don’t even ask me to explain the Final Five,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Minka Kelly Bangs This Guy Now

August 31st, 2011 // 27 Comments

According to TooFab, the now-single Minka Kelly is already not-single because she’s having a “growing late-night relationship” (So I’m not the only one who wakes up with that? Thank God.) with Ramon Rodriguez who you might remember from such roles as Omar’s boyfriend on The Wire or Shia LaBeouf’s roommate in Transformers: This Time With Testicles. Except now you get to meet him as the new Latino Bosley which should go over well with Republicans/racist nutbags who hate when pop culture represents the reality of an ever-browning America and will suddenly consider Bosley the last stalwart of pure, wholesome television. “Why he worked the speaker box and drove the Angels around sometime? That’s a white man’s job!” they’ll probably say.

UPDATE: And I’ve just been informed Bernie Mac played Bosley in the second Charlie’s Angel movie that epically tanked, taking the franchise down with it, so… yeah. Uh, hey, look, brand new pics of Minka Kelly in a revealing dress! My God, what an ass. You almost want to stare at it and forget everything you just read, don’t you? Of course you do. Ahaha!

Photo: Pacific Coast News, WENN

Mel Gibson Made Court Faces Again

August 31st, 2011 // 24 Comments

Mel Gibson was in court this morning for reasons that aren’t really important, so just assume he somehow managed to only pay Oksana Grigorieva a settlement that’s a shart in the bucket to him because the California court system is afraid of getting Third Reich’d in the face. Because that’s exactly what happened. What is important is that Mel made a bunch of batshit faces again, and since I’m pulling posts out of my ass today, I took the liberty of adding captions to each of them because senile anti-Semites who stave off arson via oral sex are like manna from heaven. The Christian heaven, mind you. Not that pansy one that thinks the Holocaust actually happened. “Queer-ven,” Mel calls it.

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Photos: Getty

And Now For Your Pretentious Celebrity Vegan Quote of The Day

August 31st, 2011 // 81 Comments

You’re a vegan. For your last meal would you go for a fatty steak or just some tempeh?
I’m not a true vegan. I dabble in sustainable fish and dawdle in the consumption of eggs. Steak doesn’t speak to me, and tempeh is so-so. I’ll savor a solitary apricot that’s been kissed by my baby.

- Anthony Kiedis to Maxim.com (August 2011)

[Ed. Note - After reviewing the post, it appears I misled people to believe the Pretentious Celebrity Vegan Quote of The Day would involve talk of chimney fisting in a trucker hat when, sadly, it did not. I shouldn't have got your hopes up like that. That was uncalled for.]

Photo: Splash News

Giuliana Rancic Trolled LeAnn Rimes Like A Harp From Wherever People Don’t Eat

August 31st, 2011 // 75 Comments

While most of us recognize LeAnn Rimes‘s Holocaustiesque frame as the prime example of perfect health, Giuliana Rancic decided to get her name out there in the easiest way possible by publicly saying LeAnn looks too skinny. It’s practically the new conveniently-leaked sex tape. Via The Huffington Post:

“She lost a lot of weight from all the stress in her life,” Giuliana said about Rimes. “She seems a little thin right now and I think she looks great when she’s a bit curvier.”
Rimes, not pleased with the comments, called Rancic out over Twitter, mentioning that the E! News host is no stranger to criticism about her own small frame.
“@GiulianaRancic hey, we should go to dinner sometime. You get criticized all the time for how small you are. You can see just HOW much I eat and maybe put a stop to this crazy “shrinking” once and for all,” she wrote, adding, “Then we should workout together! Good luck with your restaurant!!!!”
Rimes later wrote, in response to another tweet on the subject, “I just don’t appreciate her comments, so I really would love for her to hang with me, see who I am. I am a person you know.”

“So maybe I hang on a stand in a high school science lab from 8 to 3. Does that not make me a person? If you prick me, do I not bleed? Eventually, I mean. Sometimes you gotta squeeze for a good solid hour, but that’s normal, right?”

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

Hello, Rose McGowan And Other News

August 31st, 2011 // 24 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Snooki is ready for the Fox News anchor desk. [Huffington Post]

- Shannon Doherty wants you to go back to school. [Dlisted]

- Contact with George Clooney‘s penis is the newest prerequisite for Dancing With The Stars. [Lainey Gossip]

- Meanwhile, an alarm just sounded at Adrianne Curry‘s house. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Here’s Kim Kardashian‘s music video, in case you’re shy a screwdriver for your eyes and ears. [DrunkenStepfather: NSFW]

- Keri Hilson understands how to market pop music. [Popoholic]

- Robert Downey Jr. knocked up his wife. [TooFab]

- Porn + Galleries Like This = 99.9% of the Internet. [theCHIVE]

- Daryl Hannah will break our dependency of fossil fuels. [IDLYITW]

- Amy Sedaris should star in everything from now on. [Videogum]

- Bill O’Reilly uses the local police department like his personal loofah. [BuzzFeed]

- Steven Soderbergh won’t retire until after his dong-flop opus and Liberace tribute are in the can. [FilmDrunk]

- Hottest Women of The U.S. Open [Maxim]

- And The 50 Hottest Sex Symbols in Sports in case the above chicks aren’t exactly smacking your balls around. Tennis puns! [Bleacher Report]

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Photo: Fame, Flynet, Splash News, WENN

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