Archive for July, 2011

Jesse James Cheated On Kat Von D

July 28th, 2011 // 71 Comments

In a shocking and not-at-all predictable turn of events, RadarOnline reports Jesse James was cheating on Kat Von D, so let’s just assume his dad beat him again:

According to an eyewitness, Jesse and Kat had a verbal argument outside of her Los Angeles, Calif. home Monday afternoon about another woman before Kat finally told him to leave.
“They were outside and I could hear them fighting. Kat kept throwing some woman’s name out and arguing about how she didn’t like him living so far away,” the source exclusively told RadarOnline.com.
“Jesse finally said, ‘Fine, f**k you!’ and sped away on his motorcycle. Kat sat in her Bentley with her head on the steering wheel for about three minutes before finally driving away.”

And it was during those three minutes, that Kat Von D bravely dusted herself off, pulled out her phone and exploited the entire thing for publicity because her show conveniently premieres tonight. Legend has it she even made up this story and timed it to leak yesterday because “if a woman does not lie and manipulate, then I believe the Kaiser has truly won.” – Margaret Sanger, 1926.

Photo: Flynet

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.27.11

July 27th, 2011 // 9 Comments

“That’s right, now look at the camera, keeping your mouth closed, closed, perfectly closed, never open, always close- Oh, God, the gap! Cement! I need cement!”

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Georgio Armani who apparently hires dudes solely to hover their face awkwardly close to his package, Satan’s other eye, another supermodel child who loves to grab her mom’s boobs (You’d be amazed how often this happens.) and Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what did that baby due to my sweet Kate Austen? Maybe if we detonate a bomb on the island, we can reverse the effects. Or flash back and ask Horace how the hell he managed to bag a 16-year-old. (Ha! Lost humor. So inclusive.)

LeAnn Rimes begging me to be in the Final Five in 3.. 2..

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

So Who Wants To Gaze Into The Eye of Satan? Anyone?

July 27th, 2011 // 86 Comments

And we got a taker.

What you’re looking at is Deena Cortese shopping in Jersey with no underwear on yesterday, and against my regard for public safety and ocular integrity, I made the uncensored version available because I really don’t want to Big Brother you guys if I can help it. That said, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell your friends and family you love them and maybe leave a note with specific instructions to set your computer on fire without looking directly at it, or even indirectly if at all possible, after they find you. But, again, free country.

Photos: Splash News

Alexander Skarsgard is Single, DTF

July 27th, 2011 // 45 Comments

Alexander Skarsgard and Kate Bosworth have called it quits, according to Us Weekly, and apparently he couldn’t be happier with his new life of plowing through anything with a vagina. I’m as shocked as you are:

During a July 21 Film District bash at Comic-Con in San Diego, the actor, 34, flirted with a brunette — and left the party with her.
“He’s single,” confirms a source, “and he is loving the attention!”

I know this site seems primarily aimed at dudes because we’ll look at anything with two yams or a butt, which is why it feels nice to have a chance to turn to the ladies and say, If you’ve ever thought about desperately hurling your naked body at Alexander Skarsgard, he’d probably fuck you right now without ever learning your name or caring about a single word coming out of your mouth because he’s Alexander Skarsgard and doesn’t have to.

You’re welcome.

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

The Orbit Gum Chick Seems Shy

July 27th, 2011 // 58 Comments

You ever find yourself watching those Orbit gum commercials and thinking, “Gee, I wonder what that blonde British chick telling me I have a dirty mouth (Real name: Vanessa Branch, by the way.) would look like in a bunch of saucy outfits?”

I can enter your thoughts.

NOTE: I’ve been informed there are two Orbit gum girls. This is the old one who says “Fabulous!” and the new one is Farris Patton. I can’t possibly know why anyone would know that or divulge that they do know that, but I guess that’s the point of having an Internet.

Photo: Splash News

Kat Von D Pulls a Paris Hilton, Walks Out of ‘Good Day LA’ Interview

July 27th, 2011 // 55 Comments

Kat Von D was scheduled to appear on Good Day LA this morning, but instead decided to storm out after they mentioned her breakup with Jesse James even though she approved it in advance along with the clip of her getting his face tattooed on her back (Read: Her new season premieres Thursday so, of course, she announced her break-up on Twitter Monday morning and now pulled this stunt.) TMZ reports:

During the introduction, “Good Day” aired a clip from Kat’s show “L.A. Ink” — showing Kat getting a tattoo of Jesse James on her side — and anchor Jeff Michael mentioned she got the tattoo before she and Jesse called it quits.
According to sources, Kat was pissed Michael even brought up her relationship with Jesse … and stormed out of the building.
We’re told Kat approved the Jesse James tattoo clip from her show — and even got a heads up from “Good Day” producers that she would be asked about the breakup during the interview.

Kat has since taken to Twitter to feign indignation and start shit with Jillian Barbarie:

- Dear GoodDayLA, thanks for the waste of a perfectly good morning. Lack of compassion n respect for eachother never fails to dissapoint me.
- @askjillian I didn’t walk out because you used the clip we sent you- I walked out because of your disrespectful intro you guys “snuck” in.
@askjillian ps. Publicly disrespecting people for the sake of better ratings isn’t something a person of compassion does. Good day..

Yeah, how dare they not respect the privacy of a reality star who airs her dirty laundry on TV for money? Bunch of compassionless pricks over there. Can’t you see she’s trying to grieve in a perfectly coordinated fashion for maximum publicity?! Gawd! Just no compassion.

Photo: WENN