“I said I like my burgers RARE.”
Like most Americans, The Superficial will honor our fallen soldiers by taking the day off and pretending every single of them died at Pearl Harbor and/or fighting Hitler because, let’s be honest, WWII is really the last great war we can justify by saying, “In our defense, he had that mustache.” And if that sounds offensive, wait until we’ve drunkenly abandoned all sense of pretense by 11 a.m.
SON: Dad, why do we get the day off to have a cookout?
DAD: Ya ever see the Rambo where he blows up Nam with a bow and arrow?
SON: No.
DAD: Then you fucking suck. *vomits into charcoal briquets*
Greatest Country on Earth. See you Tuesday,
- The Superficial
(Want to honor our troops without using questionable satire? Visit the IAVA.)
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Photo: Bobby Campbell
The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 29
Welcome to the 29th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet crammed with more cracks at an Ewok than you can shake a Han Solo in Endor Gear figure at. *snorts, pushes taped glasses back into place* But don’t worry, there’s also a diverse cavalcade of non-nerd comments including an Austin Powers reference that’s actually funny which, if my memory serves me correct, is the first time that’s happened on the Internet since 1999. Hyeah, bay-bee! (See what I mean?)
Zip it,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Splash News