The 2011 ESPY Awards were last night, and some of you maybe asking yourselves, “Why is this entire gallery full of women, and not a single one an athlete?” Fortunately, I anticipated your response because I’m a powerful Jedi, and it comes down to a complex algorithm meticulously designed to preserve the structural integrity of the Internet: “Tits or GTFO.” Also, have you seen female athletes lately? Lindsey Vonn looks like Stifler’s mom.
Photo: Getty, Splash News
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Ooooh, thought the dress was kinda boring until I saw the backside.
Nice!
And the nominees for most athletic breasts are….
Who did this hard faced hussy blow to get a red carpet invite?
Hank Whatshisname. And Hef.
I know that…I mean recently.
Tiger: Shut up! Be quiet! Stop moving around! Stay in there!
Tiger’s Penis: Guess who’s in cha-arge.
I insist on seeing her naked immediately.
you’d think they could invite chicks like michelle wie, danika patrick, allison stokke, about a dozen eastern european tennis players, and fuck yeah, lindsay vonn!
So are we to believe there were only 5 women in attendance? 4 are hot, 1 is not. Please no more Kendra. We get enough attractive trailer trash on this site and attractive she is not.
Couldn’t agree more…
Now why the hell did you have to put that pic of Brooke Hogan in there?
Hello, happy fatty.
What? No pictures of Wilson?! Throw some dick up for the ladies damnit.
Very, very disappointed by that dress on Brooklyn.
She should be airing those puppies out, not squashing them flat.
Those other chicks are ok, and there’s no Lindsay Vonn up there.
I can’t tell what’s at the back of her throat, but it looks like Peter Dinklage.
p.s. Good luck to US Women’s soccer–again playing for the World Cup Championship, vs Japan this Sunday!
Admit it, your wife made you post that.
nah i’ll watch in case someone rips their top off after the winning goal :))
If you ripped one of their tops off when they hadn’t scored would confusion about the traditions of soccer be a viable defense?
I just got an ESPY in my pants.
She got invited so that there would be one woman at the ESPYs who could walk (and probably dance) in heels.
Forty pictures of the same 4 broads? Really? How fucking boring.
And somewhere an IROC is lamenting its lost upholstery.
Dammit, this picture is distorted. Her 5head is distracting me from her cans.
Yes to both of the above
Who the hell let the trash in?
The transition from Amber Heard to Kendra Wilkinson stripped my gears.
The picture of Rachel makes her look orange, but she’s so hot.
Rachel Nichols has my penis flailing about like a drowning hairless mole rat.
This just looks like slutty prom circa 2002. WHO LETS HER GO PLACES?
Hottest lesbian EVER.
By a freaking landslide.
You can see the left nipple struggling to get free. Set it free, Brooklyn! Set it free!
Selling sex tapes out of the back of her Ford Econovan.
Who is she?
Hahaha, I can’t believe Justin Bieber was at this. Can you imagine how many times he ran home, grabbed Selena by the wrist, dragged her to the bedroom?
Justin: ‘Rachel, Amber, Brooklyn, UNH! Rachel, Amber, Brooklyn, UNH! Rachel, Amber, Brooklyn, UNH!’
Selena: ‘It’s me Selena goddammit!’
I seriously doubt he’s thinking of women when he’s trying to bang Selena. More like “Bob, Joe, Michael, UNH!”
There are several that I would like to wantonly violate and maybe take pictures when in flagrante delicto .
Chorloform , roofies and vodka / scotch ., I ‘d like to make my mark in that set of broads
Where the hell is Kerry Washington and Serena Williams?
How the hell do you leave out Serena Williams? She had her super fun bags well on display.
Still looks like JWow.
That color reminds me of a bowrider I once had. Speaking of motorboats…
Come to butthead….
This has got to be a stunt double. Anyone else think Rachel Nichols is trying to pull a Saddam Hussein on us here?
What are the odds she’ll do a reverse Anne Heche? What are the odds of me being there at that exact moment?
Reversing my previous JWow statement. Tongue lashings of apologies all round.
“One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong, can you tell me which thing is not like the others by the time I finish my song?”
noooooooooo.
it’s so sad she’s a lesbo.
damn hot and healthy looking
hot fucking damn rachel.
please sit on my face.
i don’t like serena. but her ass makes Kim Kardashian’s ass look puny.
and…. cue the botox!
who styled her hair? sheesh.
well, lindsey vonn saved the entire party with her presence, folks!!
Why does she have blue teeth?
In these pictures, there’s always a woman in the background saying it all with her stare and her sandals.
Her boobs look weird. They are wide, but flat at the same time. I call a case of small boobs and big, padded bra.
I love her hairy arm. I hope her bush looks the same.
Were these the only women that showed up? Besides amber heard all of these girls need to lay off on the sun, it’s showing on their faces and skin. So many wrinkles under the eyes even for the young girls.
looks drunk
Riddle me this….where’d dat ass come from?