Archive for December, 2010

Happy New Year!

December 31st, 2010 // 96 Comments

So, one of two things need to happen here:

1. She stays her in there permanently.
2. We inform the entire Middle East this machine is how the Great Satan derives its power. (Which if they’re reading, is true along with a warm infidel-y center. Allahu Akbar.)

I’m cool either way.

Back on Monday. Keep it safe out there,

- The Superficial

Click Here For The Entire “Best of 2010″ Countdown

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Photos: Splash News

BEST OF 2010: Hilary Duff Says ‘Yes’

December 31st, 2010 // 24 Comments

1. Hilary Duff

Posted: 2.23.2010

As I compiled this list at the beginning of the week, I found myself smiling when I saw the top post of 2010 because I completely forgot about these beautiful, almost quintessentially romantic set of photos. Here’s Hilary Duff accepting Mike Comrie‘s proposal in literally the greatest way possible. Because, honestly, at the end of the day, this is the only reason men even ask in the first place. Call it our ace in the hole, if you will. Plan B. “Break glass in case of emergency.” You get the picture. Anyway, I’m not sure Hilary Duff even said the word, “yes.’ Just “Ohmygod!” followed by the same exact face Britney Spears makes walking into McDonald’s, but less sexual.

Original Post: How to Accept a Marriage Proposal

BEST OF 2010: Miley Cyrus’ Special Place

December 31st, 2010 // 18 Comments

2. Miley Cyrus

Posted: 6.21.2010

Sometime around June 2010 it was determined that Miley Cyrus‘ stage show was missing a certain… something. And that something was her vagina. Not unlike ripping the governor off a car if cars had a vulva, Miley was set lose across Europe and the United States with specific instructions to vagina diddle her way into mainstream relevance. Sure, her audience was almost 99.9% comprised of seven- to 12-year-old girls, it’s not like they’d stick around and emulate her every move? I mean, that’s just crazy talk. Civilization would be doomed if that’s the case. Haha! Little girls being impressionable sponges soaking up the actions of a role model aggressively marketed to them by Disney. You and your ideas. They’re so cute.

Original Post: Miley Cyrus Flashed it Again

Photos: WireImage

Katy Perry is an Angel of the Morning

December 31st, 2010 // 186 Comments

Being the loving husband that he is Russell Brand took a picture of Katy Perry as she’s waking up without her normal 800 miles of makeup on, and then posted it to Twitter. He’s since deleted it which is exactly what I would do once I remembered my wife’s breasts are ginormously awesome and I want to die between them. Then again, he has seen this face, so I’m amazed he’s not calling the shots now and/or fleeing the country.

RUSSELL: Right, love, you wonkers are huge, but it isn’t nice wakin’ up to a dead person, now is it?
KATY: Fine. You can do heroin in bed.
RUSSELL: If you insist. Wheeee!

Click Here For Full Size Version

Photo: Twitter

Moesha? And Other News

December 31st, 2010 // 35 Comments

So, they really are contagious. You win this round, racism. This round…

- Lisa Rinna tries to scare these kids to death. [Popeater]

- Joe Francis just ripped off Ryan Reynolds’ entire separation statement. [Dlisted]

- JLo and Marc Anthony are tax evaders. [Lainey Gossip]

- Irina Shayk in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Montana Fishbourne chips away at her father’s will to live. [DrunkenStepfather:site is NSFW]

- Elmo is the goddamn devil. [Geekologie]

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Photos: Splash News

LeAnn Rimes in a Bikini

December 31st, 2010 // 55 Comments

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian slipped off to Mexico for a little Homewreckers Celebration because apparently they think getting engaged is a smart idea after proving marriage means absolutely jackshit to either of them. That being said, LeAnn Rimes actually looks pretty goddamn banging here. And it’s been a long time since I could say something like that because, as you know by reading the site, I’m a firm believer in traditional family values. In fact, I was at Bible study just the other night lamenting how it’s impossible for me to spill my seed looking at LeAnn Rimes knowing full well she’s a harlot. I mean, Internet porn? No problem. Let me at it. But a godless Jezebel? No, sir. No, thank you. That’s not the America I remember.

Adding… But I will gaze at her side-boob. For Jesus.

Photos: Bauer Griffin, Splash News

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