Archive for October, 2010

What In The Hell?

October 28th, 2010 // 49 Comments

When it comes to the paparazzi, I’ll always defend their existence and argue with anyone who says what they do isn’t a “real job.” Because like any occupation, they’re simply the product of supply and demand. If people didn’t enjoy their work, I’d be selling my body for profit instead of just the sheer thrill of it. That being said, there is absolutely no excuse for these shots of Courtney Love shopping in West Hollywood yesterday. The bastards were well aware I’m going to look at them, vomit blood for five hours, then inflict them on others because I’m an asshole. It’s like they know me better than I know myself.

“That wasn’t part of our deal, Blackheart!”

Photos: Pacific Coast News

Mike Tyson Would’ve Worked With Mel Gibson

October 28th, 2010 // 14 Comments

A now-kinder, gentler Mike Tyson (I’m actually being serious. The poor bastard lost a four-year-old daughter after cleaning himself up.) would “100% percent” have worked with Mel Gibson in The Hangover 2 which SPOILER ALERT: Iron Mike is apparently in. — I might’ve done that a little late. Page Six reports:

I’m not going to ever in my life point my finger at anyone. I don’t live in a glass house. None of us do. I work with anybody, as long as they’re respectful. …. We all have that guy — a Mel Gibson — in us. We just don’t want people to be exposed to it. Maybe he needs to go get help. We all need help, and need someone to talk to. I’m not against him, but I’m not for him.”

Granted, Mike Tyson raped a woman twenty years ago and committed a laundry list of crimes in his youth, those are actually some pretty sage words from a man still striving to find redemption for his past. Then again, this is a also a man who, for all intents and purposes, is probably immune to fire and therefore has nothing to fear. Because, at the end of the day, would could Mel Gibson possibly do to Mike Tyson that Mike Tyson hasn’t already done to himself?

Not counting saying his tits are sugary sweet. The champ don’t play like that.

Photo: Getty

Mariah Carey is Pregnant? I Would’ve Never Guessed

October 28th, 2010 // 64 Comments

Seen here already looking like Aretha-esque in Singapore a month ago, Mariah Carey has finally confirmed she’s pregnant to the surprise of, well, actually a few people because I just assumed her weight was some sort of cosmic joke on Nick Cannon. Via The Today Show:

In the spirit of some privacy, Carey, who shared the news with Bush from her home in Tribeca, didn’t divulge how far along she is. “It’s still early, I’m expecting in the spring, I’ll say that. I don’t want to give too much of like, specific outlines.”
Carey chose to share the happy news now because her new album, “Merry Christmas 2 U” drops next week. Her husband Nick Cannon, who was also on hand for the interview, describes the journey as an emotional one.
“Uh, it’s absolutely emotional, but first, so many reasons I mean obviously the greatest gift on earth is a child,” Cannon said. “But … you know how much we have been through, you know.”

The couple also revealed Mariah suffered a miscarriage two years ago which I chose not to quote so I wouldn’t look like a dick pointing out she essentially got knocked up by her butler. It’s the lies we tell ourselves, folks. The lies we tell ourselves…

Video After The Jump

Charlie Sheen Was With a Porn Star, Not a Hooker. PHEW.

October 27th, 2010 // 75 Comments

Great news, everybody. Your hero Charlie Sheen did not cause a hooker to hide in the bathroom the night he drunkenly tore apart a New York City hotel room. It was only porn star Capri Anderson (above). Oh, thank God. TMZ reports:

We’re told Anderson, whose legal name is Christina Walsh, met Sheen for the first time Monday in the bar at The Plaza Hotel, then went to dinner with Charlie, along with 4 other women and 3 other men. As we already reported, Denise Richards also briefly attended the dinner before it became just too awkward — she left before finishing her appetizer.
Anderson — who’s been in a ton of adult features — has told friends she’s extremely upset about recent reports that she’s either an escort or a prostitute … Anderson is adamant she’s NOT a working girl.

Also, there’s another correction. Apparently it wasn’t Charlie’s wallet that was missing, but a watch from his $5.6 million collection which he presumably thought would impress a porn star. I can see the logic:

Our law enforcement sources tell TMZ … during the NYPD’s interview with Capri Anderson, aka Christina Walsh … after the incident she told cops Charlie became irate, started throwing chairs and turning over tables and fell on the ground. That’s when she went to the bathroom and locked herself inside.
We’re told Anderson is telling friends she did not steal Charlie’s watch.

Is it me or does a lot of this information seem to be coming from a porn star who’s been assumed to be both a thief and a prostitute? I’m not questioning Capri’s story because it seems to check out considering Charlie wasn’t arrested for soliciting her. I’m just afraid we might be on a slippery slope of considering sex workers credible witnesses. Next thing you know innocent bloggers are being accused of not paying because they were charged extra to pretend they’re Batman with Instant Firing Action. It’s practically anarchy, is what it is.

Huge thanks to Mark at ClubCapriAnderson.com (Link is NSFW) for the hi-res photos. That’s how you webmaster.

Photos: Courtesy of ClubCapriAnderson.com

Miley Cyrus’ Parents File For Divorce

October 27th, 2010 // 67 Comments

This, uh. This explains a lot.

Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus are calling it quits after 17 years of marriage. There’s no talk of a third party, so to make this more scandalous, I’m going to say it’s Miley. People reports:

“As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family,” they say in a statement. “We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.”

Want to know the creepiest part about all this? Britney Spears‘ parents also divorced – after 17 years of marriage. It’s like that episode of Fringe where Massive Dynamic tried to raise test tube children under the exact same conditions. Except instead of acquiring mind control, these two become undue burdens of the state after suffering a psychological break from squeezing out redneck children because they ain’t done know any better. Goddamn you, Walt Disney. Goddamn you to hell.

Photos: Fame

Hello Again, Reese Witherspoon, And Other News

October 27th, 2010 // 55 Comments

(Anyone else not noticing the chin as much for some reason? I barely realized it was stabbing me in the neck. MEDIC!)

- Kimora Lee Simmons wants you to model her skincare line. [Celebuzz]

- Michael Lohan has Charlie Sheen’s back. Perfect. [Popeater]

- Jake Gyllenhaal took Taylor Swift… apple-picking? [Dlisted]

- Katherine Heigl spends way too much time with her mom. [Lainey Gossip]

- Emma Stone continues to be everything Lindsay could’ve been without the coke. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Coco just got some competition. [IDLYITW]

- Audrina Patridge is getting her own reality show. [Hollywood Life]

- Chris Brown pays tribute to The Beatles. Did they beat women, too? [Just Jared]

- Todd Phillips really wanted that Mel Gibson cameo. [StarPulse]

- Dave Navarro likes ‘em young now. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: INFdaily, Splash News