Archive for September, 2010

Dina Lohan Wants Conservatorship Over Lindsay

September 28th, 2010 // 63 Comments

Despite the fact he pursued one himself back in April, Michael Lohan is freaking out that Dina might succeed in putting Lindsay under a conservatorship while she goes into rehab. That’s his hard-earned money that somebody else earned! RadarOnline reports:

Michael said he’s aware that Dina and Taylor are making the move behind-the-scenes, in the wake of the Mean Girls starlet’s brief stint in jail last Friday.
Taylor, who in 2008 helped put Britney Spears under the conservatorship of her father Jamie Spears, came on board just over three months ago when Lindsay was first sentenced to jail.
“Lou and Dina are trying to throw Lindsay in a rehab right now and get her out of the picture so they can get a conservatorship without her knowing,” he told RadarOnline.com.
“They would control literally everything Lindsay does, what projects she has coming up, her finances and the people she sees-and that includes keeping me out of her life.
“I hope Lindsay hears this and realizes what they’re trying to do.”

I highly doubt a judge will let Dina Lohan, Queen of the Harpie Enablers, to be in full control of Lindsay’s career, but we are talking about a court circuit so ass-backward it allowed a cocaine addict to get out of rehab early only to immediately fail two drug tests and get a slap on the wrist. So how much more could this really fuck things up? It’s not like Dina would have the legal right to carve off Lindsay’s face and become her like she’s always wanted.

Or does it? (You owe me, California Legal System.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.

There’s a Megan Fox Upskirt Now

September 28th, 2010 // 55 Comments

I drink a lot, so I can’t be positive if this is the first Megan Fox upskirt photo to be caught in the wild which is why I’m such a vocal proponent of celebrity crotch tagging. (Blue = 1st time. Red = 2nd, Biohazard sign = Paris Hilton, etc.) Nevertheless, here she is in Italy over the weekend because if this site is anything, it’s a library of historical events. People in the future will mine it for data on our society and learn we’re a bunch of perverts who barely manage to function in the morning without seeing a transsexual midget eat a penis lollipop first. — Suck it, 18th Century France!

Photos: INFdaily

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.

Lindsay Lohan Wanted $10 Grand For This

September 28th, 2010 // 18 Comments

While her new publicity team attempted to make it look like she cares about the plight of the homeless and is super-serious about checking into rehab.. eventually, Lindsay Lohan spent the weekend attempting to hock pics of her latest SCRAM device because she hasn’t learned shit about shit. Us Magazine reports:

Lindsay Lohan was calling around the pap agencies all weekend trying to get $10,000 up front to pose up in the SCRAM bracelet,” a reliable insider tells UsMagazine.com. “All of the major players passed, and she ended up doing the setup with a small agency.”
Adds the source, “She was pimping it out all weekend, looking for 10 grand, but who wants to deal with that headache?”

You’d think Lindsay Lohan would understand how the paparazzi works by now, but then again she’s an alcoholic drug addict who runs over children. So let me help her out: Why buy the cow when you get free milk with cocaine in it outside Marmont?

(I think I did that right.)

Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.

Dania Ramirez Had a Pool Party

September 27th, 2010 // 60 Comments

Here’s Entourage star Dania Ramirez hosting a pool party at Wet Republic in Vegas Saturday because it’s been way too long without a swimwear post. Personally, I preferred her work as Chick Who Kills People With Her All-Black Eyes on Heroes, but that speaks more to my hatred of every single thing on Entourage than my love of horribly shoehorned-in characters that signal the demise of an entire series. To put things in perspective, a friend asked me the other day if I wanted to watch the episode where Vince films Medellin, and I made him give me a vasectomy instead because I believe people with Parkinson’s deserve a chance to be surgeons. Does anyone really need 3/4th of their testicle? No, of course not. Don’t be selfish.

Photos: Getty

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.

Christina Aguilera Looks.. Shiny? And Other News

September 27th, 2010 // 49 Comments

- George Lopez is leaving the wife who donated him a kidney to save his life. “Thanks, babe!” [Popeater]

- David Beckham will not stop it with the whores, kindly, sir. [Dlisted]

- George Clooney has officially been gold-dug. [Lainey Gossip]

- Hayden Panettiere could fit right in your pocket. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Rihanna looks classy. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Megan Fox Disappoints. I would’ve stopped there. [Popoholic]

- Taylor Swift is gobbling up Lindsay’s lost roles. [IDLYITW]

- Bret Michaels naked. Why not? [BuzzFeed]

- Lana Lang is dating that dude from V even though Laura Vandervoort is way hotter. [Just Jared]

- Johnny Depp on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Who Seriously Asked For This? [PopSugar]

Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.

Lindsay Lohan Loves The Homeless Now

September 27th, 2010 // 33 Comments

Because nothing inspires the homeless like a rich drug addict sporting a court-ordered alcohol monitoring device, Lindsay Lohan stopped by the Dream Center Sunday night to hand out purses to homeless teens. You know, so they have a place for all their cell phones, credit cards, make-up, car keys, etc. God, she’s so thoughtful. E! News reports:

According to a source, LiLo’s business manager Lou Taylor, who also was part of her group, is a supporter of the facility and encouraged her to visit.
While there, Lindsay met with children and families, signing autographs and handing out purses to some of the teen girls.
“What a great place The Dream Center is here in LA… had a nice time there today, it’s so important to give back. I feel blessed,” Lohan later tweeted.

Oh, good, she signed autographs. Why, I can almost see a poor, malnourished girl returning to her cot now, hugging a signed photo of a woman she’s never heard of before. “Some day I’ll be addict myself to the richest drug money can buy. I just have to.. ‘Always Clean My Room?!’ Did that bitch seriously write ‘Clean My Room?’ I’m homeless. Where’s my hobo shiv?” (Don’t act like they all don’t have one.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.