Archive for August, 2010

Jessica Alba is the Greatest Actress Alive

August 27th, 2010 // 44 Comments
Jessica Alba Upskirt
Jessica Alba Upskirt
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I don’t know what compelled me to write that headline, but it’s really something I don’t say about Jessica Alba enough. I just sort of woke up this morning and, for no reason whatsoever, realized she’s a phenomenal actress and should be commended as such. What’s that? You can see up her skirt? I didn’t even notice. I’ve been so captivated by her work in, uh, – *checks IMDB* – The Love Guru. Yeah, that, Dove Huju. Great movie.

Photos: Fame

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Hello, Hilary Duff and Other News

August 27th, 2010 // 31 Comments
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- Chris Brown obviously moonwalked for the judge. [Popeater]

- Mary Louise-Parker has never smoked weed. [Dlisted]

- Rachel Bilson somehow has breasts. [Hollywood Tuna]

- How the hell does Lady GaGa get past airport security? Seriously. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sophie Turner is hot and funny. [IDLYITW]

- Jennifer Love Hewitt is a thing of beauty. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Charlize Theron makes pumping gas look hot. [Popoholic]

- Vincent Gallo’s Personal Services [BuzzFeed]

- The Situation did something to his hair that probably netted him another million dollars. *puts gun in mouth* [The Fab Life]

- Kelly Osbourne wants you to see her new skinny body. Naked. [StarPulse]

- Christina Hendricks is on every magazine everywhere. [Just Jared]

- Miley Cyrus and Liam would’ve never worked out. [Hollywood Life]

- JWoww’s classiness knows no bounds. [Celebslam]

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Photos: Flynet, Splash News

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Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Need Your Lame Charity

August 27th, 2010 // 27 Comments
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Somehow Taylor Momsen‘s band The Pretty Reckless landed themselves on Letterman last night where she, of course, did her best to act like this was all a bunch of passé shit miles beneath her dark and edgy love of vibrators at age 16. (She’ll later apologize and profess her love for Dave within 48 hours. For such are her ways.) This must’ve been awesome for the two dudes in her band who finally catch a break after reconciling every morning that they play backup for Cindy Lou Who in lingerie. I understand most musicians are just happy to land paying gigs, but there’s no way this wasn’t the biggest heroin-fueled gamble of their lives.

DUDE #1: Okay, so we just sort of play for a while and see what happens.
DUDE #2: What was the name of the show again?
DUDE #1: “Gossip Girl.”
DUDE #2: …. I want all the drugs you can afford. In my mouth.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

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Paris Hilton’s Boyfriend is an A-Hole

August 27th, 2010 // 50 Comments
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When Nathan Parada burst into Paris Hilton‘s house like the benevolent angel of natural selection he was, it was just assumed her private security team handled the situation until the cops arrived. Turns out Paris is actually dating nightclub tycoon Cy Waits who was at her house and pulled a gun on the intruder which proves there is absolutely nothing Vegas won’t rob me of. TMZ reports: More »

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Lindsay Lohan is Britney Spears Now

August 27th, 2010 // 53 Comments
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In more ways than one apparently.

The team responsible for allegedly reviving Britney Spears‘ “career” are now working to do the same thing to Lindsay Lohan‘s. Which sounds reasonable until you realize I just referenced a person who’s been legally declared a burden of the state as the ideal business model. Page Six reports: More »

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Karissa Shannon: ‘There’s a Sex Tape.’ Heidi Montag: ‘No, There Isn’t.’

August 27th, 2010 // 47 Comments
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Seen here at Millions of Milkshakes, Karissa Shannon not only confirmed that place will literally give anyone off the street their own milkshake, but also that the sex tape she made with Heidi Montag is very real and she doesn’t want anyone to see it because that would just result in even more publicity than she conveniently got this week. She just wants to wear smoking hot dresses at public appearances she could’ve never booked before and do exclusive bikini photo shoots in private, you guys. Seriously. RadarOnline reports: More »

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