Archive for May, 2010

Dennis Hopper gets a post (1936 – 2010)

May 31st, 2010 // 37 Comments
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Before getting into the deluge of news/bikini pics from the weekend, it wouldn’t be right not to take a moment for Dennis Hopper who died Saturday at age 74 from cancer. I can’t honestly say I was a rabid fan, but his scene with Christopher Walken in True Romance was on par with seeing Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro’s first on-screen encounter in Heat. Plus at least half of us have walked around going “Pop quiz, hot shot” then proceeded to announce there’s a bomb on something. (If you guessed my penis, pat yourself on the back.)

Rest in Peace.

Photos: INFdaily
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Heidi left Spencer

May 28th, 2010 // 137 Comments
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Just when I think I’m out…

Seen here during happier, gun-toting times in 2008, Heidi Montag’s rep just announced she’s separated from Spencer Pratt. TMZ reports:

Heidi’s rep tells TMZ, “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”
We’re told Heidi is looking for a new place in Malibu.

With The Hills coming to a close I can’t say I didn’t see this coming a gay mile away. Fortunately, with someone as emotionally unstable as Spencer, there’s not a lot of guns lying around around the house that will make all this go away with the warm, sweet, non-judgmental embrace of death. Where there’s also naked men holding crystals. That grant reality TV contracts just put the fucking gun in your mouth.

Photos: Pacific Coast News
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Gary Coleman dead at 42 (1968 – 2010)

May 28th, 2010 // 125 Comments

One last unfortunate update, folks, Gary Coleman died today after being taken off life support, according to RadarOnline:

Coleman had been hospitalized in Provo, Utah since Wednesday, May 26, after suffering what his family called “a serious medical problem.”
As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Coleman had slipped into a coma and was on life support after suffering an intracranial hemorrhage, according to ABC News.

You really can’t say anything bad about Gary Coleman considering he was doomed the minute he stepped foot on the set of Diff’rent Strokes. Everything that transpired afterward was out of his hands, and I for one don’t begrudge the man a few random head-buttings while trying to navigate through a world that must’ve seemed built for only giants.

Rest in Peace, Gary. May you find what Willis was talkin’ ’bout on the other side.

Photo: WENN
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Happy Memorial Day! Love, Wonk-Boobs

May 28th, 2010 // 154 Comments
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Now that I’ve loaded up the site with varying amounts of intentional and unintentional sexy, I bid you adieu, o ye, readers of my dick jokes. But as a parting gift, here’s three miles of tit canyon courtesy of Audrina Patridge. Maybe you can have a cookout or simply park your RV for the weekend, there’s really more space than anyone could possibly need in there. (Just watch out for my boathouse, gazebo, and full-size tennis court on your way to the Starbucks.)

See you Tuesday [Ed. For real this time.],

The Superficial

Photos: Splash News
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Peter Brady needs to trade me his wife for two goats and other news

May 28th, 2010 // 51 Comments
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- Gary Coleman really is suffering from a brain hemorrhage and is now in a coma. Awkward. [Popeater]

- Alicia Keys was apparently knocked up by Swizz Beats while he was still with his wife. Neat. [Dlisted]

- Lindsay Lohan continues to be a cocaine avalanche of dumb. [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Love Hewitt will read your emails. [Huffington Post]

- Adrianna Lima is the good kind of leathery. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Kate Hudson almost pulls a Britney. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kristin Cavallari’s ass is.. hot? I think. [Popoholic]

- Tiger Woods isn’t allowed to date until the divorce is over. But ain’t nobody said nothin’ ’bout no hookin’! — I’m a terrible person. [The Fab Life]

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Photos: Meredith Lovegrove
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And now Kelly Brook is topless, too

May 28th, 2010 // 92 Comments
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Thanks to the perfect storm of absolutely zero news happening and me trying to get out of town for a wedding, I’m slapping you guys in the face with topless awesome this morning. Here’s Kelly Brook in the July 2010 issue of Loaded, and this is practically art because she’s British. I almost want to take these to Michael’s and have them framed, but what do those Philistines know of class and refinement? Nothing, that’s what. Now where are those doilies I masturbate into? Could’ve sworn I left them on the credenza…

UPDATE: Thanks for the traffic, Captain Understands the Internet.

Photos: Loaded
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