Archive for April, 2010

Jenna Bentley in a Bikini (Or at least one breast is.)

April 28th, 2010 // 201 Comments
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That’s a nipple slip.

Here’s Playboy model Jenna Bentley on a photo shoot in Hawaii which makes absolutely no sense to me. 1.) I thought Playmates only spent their time pretending Hugh Hefner’s penis works. 2.) What the hell were the instructions on this set? “Now make sure you only let one gigantic tit pop out. We want to keep things fancy.”

NOTE: Full Size versions are NSFW.

Photos: Pacific Coast News
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Oh, good. Russell Crowe has a sword.

April 28th, 2010 // 34 Comments
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Here’s Russell Crowe at the Madrid photocall for Robin Hood where some genius thought it’d be a good idea to provide him with a sword, wine and the opportunity to trash anyone who’s played Robin Hood in the past century. Christ, at that point you might as well put an open Snickers in your pocket and threaten his cub. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be playing dead on the ground until he goes away. (Don’t let him eat my Pop Tart.)

Photos: WENN
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Rihanna’ll go blind doing that and other news

April 28th, 2010 // 36 Comments
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- Jessica Simpson has slippery teeth? [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Lopez has big hair for the big ass. [Dlisted]

- Justin BieberPopEater]

- Katie Holmes does have experience with a husband who bangs other people. But with penises. [Hollywood Life]

- Megan Fox slumming it. (Not a Brian Austin Green joke.) [HollywoodTuna]

- Christina Aguilera does her best Lady GaGa impression. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Ricky Gervais will host the Golden Globes again. Maybe this time they’ll let him tell more than two jokes. [StarPulse]

- Breaking Dawn just got a director. [TheFABlife]

- Lizzy Caplan does Complex. [Popoholic]

- Ryan Phillippe’s trash is Josh Hartnett’s treasure. [Just Jared]

- The Hills can’t be killed! [Celebslam]

- Jeremy Renner might be banging Charlize Theron. [PopSugar]

- Jared Leto has a pink mohawk now. [The Blemish]

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Photos: Splash News
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Who wants to see Kate Gosselin’s abs?

April 28th, 2010 // 75 Comments
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Because America is basically a slow kid fascinated with its own belly button, Kate Gosselin was a huge ratings draw for Dancing with the Stars and apparently got herself into some sort of respectable shape when you compare her to pics from last year. Except the only way I’d find Kate attractive is if she suicide bombed Jon, taking the kids with him for their own good. At which point, I’d be open to coffee.

Photos: INFdaily
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Tito Ortiz is innocent

April 28th, 2010 // 46 Comments
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Seen here shopping and smiling just hours after Tito’s arrest, Jenna Jameson is getting support from Tiger Woods’ mistress and fellow porn star Joslyn James who claims she witnessed Tito abuse Jenna before. Except it didn’t happen when TMZ was there, so why bother telling anyone? Am I right? NY Daily News reports:

“I saw three separate situations myself,” James, a friend of Jameson’s, told the Daily News. “They would be partying, and she wouldn’t do anything in particular to set him off.”

Meanwhile, Tito’s lawyer claims they have proof of Jenna’s painkiller addiction:

“We have witnesses and evidence,” said Ortiz’s lawyer Chip Matthew. “She underwent private rehab at home, and family and friends participated.”
Matthews said Ortiz found two pills in Jameson’s pants pocket and said “I’m out of here” when she responded with an excuse.
“He meant he needed a day or two without talking, but she went ballistic,” the lawyer said.

Of course, none of that matters because Joslyn James opened her mouth. Jenna’s lawyers could present a tape of Tito in full MMA gear kicking her unconscious in front of orphans and the judge would just stroke his chin and go “But didn’t that Tiger whore say something…”

Photos: Splash News
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Lindsay Lohan should solve crimes

April 28th, 2010 // 36 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan knows it was her dad who tweeted she has AIDS and not the work of a hacker, according to Page Six:

He’s a grown man and has done the exact same things on TV/interviews, [so] why wouldn’t he lie on Twitter, and everywhere else!” she tweeted. “He just wants money — and he’s using me, my name, my status, my mother, brothers and sister for the cash to pay for [another] wedding.”

When someone whose body is 80% rum, dick and coke is able to deduce you did something, it’s time to pack up your shit and find a new con. To put things in perspective, Ronald McDonald could flash Lindsay for 20 minutes and she’d swear to God she just saw a puppy. Or a shark. — A puppy shark.

Photos: Pacific Coast News
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