Archive for April, 2010

Olivia Munn in lingerie and other news

April 30th, 2010 // 125 Comments

- Conan O’Brien throws Leno under the bus on 60 Minutes. [PopEater]

- Lance Armstrong has the most powerful testicle on Earth. [Dlisted]

- Brooke Hogan still has huge breasts for a dude. [HollywoodTuna]

- Gwyneth Paltrow < Kate Hudson. [Lainey Gossip]

- Christina Aguilera has some video out. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Simon Monjack is probably banging Brittany Murphy’s mom. [StarPulse]

- Shakira will save you, Arizona. [TheFABlife]

- Heidi Montag’s tits just suffocated her career. [Hollywood Life]

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Photos: FHM

Christina Ricci is a LILF

April 30th, 2010 // 98 Comments

I’ll let you guys do the math on that one.

In the meantime, does telling a woman your testicles are the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow ever work? I mean for you people. I’m batting a thousand over here. Although in fairness, it involves a lot of Super Glue, those chocolate gold coins and a heavily desensitized scrotum. (Thank you, failed dates trained in self-defense.)

Photos: Splash News, WENN

Kate Hudson’s Breast-Gate continues

April 30th, 2010 // 68 Comments

Kate Hudson decided to let her breasts go braless last night at the Chopard celebration last night furthering speculation as to whether they’re fake, signs of a pregnancy or she just loves ice cream. As a taxpayer, I don’t see any way to settle this outside of a congressional hearing. It’s not like the economy isn’t on its way up, so let’s tackle some real issues for once or I’m pissing my vote away on batshit Ron Paul in 2012. Sure, he’ll never win, but dammit, I’m a man of principle and knowing what boobs are made of. (Redundant? You’re right.)

Photos: Splash News, WENN

Pauly D will romance you

April 30th, 2010 // 169 Comments

Here’s Jersey Shore’s Pauly D picking up some chicks in Miami yesterday and despite the fact MTV continues to embolden the robots by proving Americans will spend 60 minutes staring at anything bright and shiny, you really can’t fault these kids for being on the show. They’re getting paid to drunkenly bang people who want to bang them for getting paid to drunkenly bang people. I mean, sure, you can literally see the VD in each photo, but there’s an old saying: You can’t make an omelet without needing special shampoo or they keep coming back. (Never let me cook breakfast.)

Photos: INFdaily

Halle Berry is single

April 30th, 2010 // 86 Comments

Gabriel Aubry has reportedly kicked Halle Berry to the curb but at least was decent enough to do it before he stuck his penis in much younger women who aren’t aging before his eyes. And thanks to Tiger Woods and Jesse James, that’s actually remarkably chivalrous. RadarOnline reports:

“Gabriel just felt it wasn’t working anymore,” the source says. “When they were first together the 9-year age difference between them didn’t phase him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever dated and he was totally in love. But as time went on he started feeling it more and more.
“Also, Gabriel started noticing other women, and being attracted to others, and he felt it just wasn’t right to stay with Halle in those circumstances.
“Gabriel is a really nice, decent guy and he would never cheat on her, but I suspect that he had become attracted to someone and that he felt he needed to break it off with Halle before anything developed any further.”

I’d offer myself as a rebound, but Gabriel has probably turned Halle off to dating anyone attractive and possibly even men at this point. Which makes it a great day to be Samantha Ron- wait, I said men.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

Lindsay Lohan: Toothless and jail-bound

April 30th, 2010 // 64 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has apparently violated her probation and could see herself in jail as early as next month, according to TMZ:

Judge Marsha Revel made it clear to Lindsay late last year, she must attend alcohol ed courses once every 7 days. The only exception — if she was in inpatient rehab. And the judge was explicit … if Lindsay did not comply with the terms of probation, she was going to jail.
The school in which Lindsay enrolled is required by state law to inform the court only if the student is MIA for 21 days. So here’s the disconnect: The school has not reported an attendance violation … because Lindsay frequently waited until the 21st day to attend classes.
Bottom line — Lindsay met the school’s requirement, but squarely violated the judge’s order.

Of course, let’s not kid ourselves, Lindsay won’t serve a minute of jail time because that would make too much sense. But just in case, she bolted to New York this morning to supposedly meet with her dad, so look forward to a happy Lohan reunion next week where everyone pretends Michael doesn’t kick vaginas and Lindsay hasn’t already made the switch to the more easily affordable meth. “Her teeth are falling out because she’s such a good actress. Happens all the time.”

Photos: Fame, Splash News
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