Archive for March, 2010

LAPD: ‘Lindsay’s gonna die.’

March 29th, 2010 // 53 Comments

Friends of Lindsay Lohan have recently come forward to say she’s not going to live without going to rehab, and apparently even the cops have noticed. TMZ reports:

Cops who see Lindsay at her worst — late nights and early mornings when she needs assistance avoiding the paparazzi — tell TMZ they have been concerned about her “erratic behavior” and “attitude,” which have grown progressively worse over the last few months.
We’re told during one of Lindsay’s crazier nights out recently, cops became so concerned they discussed taking her in for a 5150 evaluation.
Cops decided against it because she didn’t meet all the criteria for a 5150 — they felt she could still take care of herself, though feebly.

So basically Lindsay Lohan is no different than any other crackhead on these officers’ beat, except she gets into a chauffeured car instead of pissing on a fire hydrant. (Most of the time.) Am I reading that right?

Photos: Splash News

Kim Kardashian & Adrianne Curry in Bikinis

March 29th, 2010 // 79 Comments

Because I always reward attention-seeking famewhores who pose in bikinis, here’s photos of Adrianne Curry and Kim Kardashian that they recently posted to their respective Twitter accounts. While neither one holds a candle to Coco, Adrianne Curry wins for not even trying to hide the fact she has implants and that time she made her husband a sandwich without pants on. (You should really be writing this down, Kim.)

More Kim Kardashian in a Bikini Pics

Puck is a great dad

March 29th, 2010 // 38 Comments

By now most of you know that Puck from The Real World was in a DUI accident last week with his 8-year-old son in the car because Puck’s a bad boy who doesn’t play by society’s rules. Particularly that one about doing shots of Jack inside the car. He fucking hates that one. Via The National Enquirer:

“I drank two shots of Jack Daniels in the car,” he admitted, “but I also ate a sandwich.”

I’m not even going to finish the rest of that quote because Jesus Butthole Christ! If you think knocking back shots of Jack behind the wheel in front of your kid is a good idea, I’m pretty sure you’re already plowed and a sandwich isn’t gonna cut it. I mean, it’s nice you thought “Wait, there’s a child in the car. Better get some carbs.” But by that point you’re basically arranging deck chairs on the Titanic – then whipping your kid at the iceberg.

Photos: Getty

Kendra Wilkinson & Holly Madison in Bikinis

March 29th, 2010 // 189 Comments

Kendra Wilkinson and Holly Madison hosted a pool party at Wet Republic in Vegas on Saturday, and it’s nice to see Kendra return to (partially) serving the purpose Hugh Hefner created her for. Seriously, she’s been practically walking around in a beekeeper outfit these days, and I’m pretty sure Hugh didn’t grow her in a lab just to hear her thoughts on child-rearing. Which reminds me, why didn’t he sterilize these things during the bleaching process? Or is building an Aryan army of big-titted sex slaves already pushing the limits of playing God? Because I could see that being the case. if you like to half-ass shit. C’mon!

Photos: Retna Digital, Splash News, WENN

Perez Hilton’s birthday looks entirely legal

March 29th, 2010 // 85 Comments

RECORD EXEC.: Justin, you’ve experienced unparalleled success for a boy your age. There isn’t a kid under 14 who doesn’t know your music. But with great success there’s always a price.
JUSTIN: Mom, what’s he talking about? Who’s that guy in the gold suit?
MOM: Be strong, honey.
JUSTIN: Mom, what’s happening? Mom, where are you going? MOMMM!
RECORD EXEC.: Happy Birthday, Mr. Hilton.
PEREZ: Leave the White-Out on the table.

Photos: Splash News

Gerard Butler is a goose monster

March 29th, 2010 // 57 Comments

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were in Paris promoting The Bounty Hunter yesterday where TMZ snagged a photo of Gerard Butler grabbing a handful of ice-butt. Some might say this clearly proves they’re fucking while others, like myself, will say this was coordinated move because the movie’s tanking. On that note, I’m amazed they haven’t been forced to “make one of them Shiloh babies.” You’d just assume that would’ve been in the contract.

Photos: TMZ, WENN