Archive for March, 2010

Kim Kardashian is in a bikini again

March 31st, 2010 // 110 Comments

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian were spotted exactly where they told the paparazzi they’d be in Miami today, and I will still never understand why Kim feels the need to cover up her ass. It’s like opening up a Starbucks then not carrying coffee because you figure everyone will just stare at your breasts.

Okay, that is a good business model.

Photos: Fame

Shauna Sand still wearing bikinis and other news

March 31st, 2010 // 49 Comments

- Angelina Jolie enjoys the sound of children crying. [Dlisted]

- George Lopez and Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter “feud” ended exactly as predicted. [PopEater]

- Jessica Szohr hawking for Ocean Pacific. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Zach Braff and Emmy Rossum might be having green intercourse. [Lainey Gossip]

- Marisa Miller in Vegas magazine. [HollywoodTuna]

- Paris Hilton “guns” LA who should return the favor. [StarPulse]

- Kate Gosselin has no fucking shame and I hope the government takes her kids. [TheFABlife]

- Scarlett Johansson’s new Iron Man 2 poster. [Popoholic]

- David Hasselhoff better preen his chest hair. [Just Jared]

- Samantha Ronson wants Lindsay Lohan to die. [Celebslam]

- Heidi Montag’s mom just made sure there’s going to be a Heidi Face 4.0. [The Blemish]

- Eclipse stills! Because Robert Pattinson is pale like you. Whee! [PopSugar]

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Photos: Splash News

WOW.

March 31st, 2010 // 79 Comments

There’s really not a whole lot to say here except for Michael Jackson is still our greatest photobomber, and Justin Bieber has to be like gay catnip. Has to be.

Photos: Getty

Gerard Butler is friends with that

March 31st, 2010 // 95 Comments

Jennifer Aniston wore an almost see-through dress while partying in Madrid last night and I’m posting these pics so people can fully understand why Gerard Butler gave her The Shocker in public the other day: He’s goddamn Jesus.

Photos: Splash News

Tiger Woods used to have sex where the star is

March 31st, 2010 // 60 Comments

Four of Tiger Woods’ mistresses, including Loredana Jolie above, appear in the May issue of Vanity Fair who obviously knew the right amount to make them sing like penis-loving canaries:

On Mindy Lawton’s tampon ratting him out:
Although she was menstruating, he insisted on having sex with her, but when the key card to access his office didn’t work, he drove to a nearby parking lot, where they had sex in his car. After they left, Lawton claims, reporters from The National Enquirer, who had been following her, picked up the tampon she had dropped in the parking lot, and later threatened to use it as part of a story exposing Woods’s infidelity.

On Tiger’s gambling buddies:
“When Tiger showed up in Vegas, he was always with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley,” according to Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist Norm Clarke. Years earlier, however, John Merchant had warned Woods to avoid Jordan and Barkley, saying of Jordan, “Stay away from that son of a bitch, because he doesn’t have anything to offer to the fucking world in which he lives except playing basketball.” Merchant adds, “Are they his black role models? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

On knowing how to treat a lady:
Mindy Lawton says the only thing he ever bought for her was a chicken wrap from Subway (he was stopping there on his way to meet her).

What’s hilarious about these stories is the unifying theme of how cheap Tiger Woods is when it comes to women and the fact he’s completely oblivious to it. He’s probably reading this right now thinking ” They only had sex with me for my money?! But I’m so good at golf! At least Elin loves me for who I — Aw, shit.”

Lindsay’s parents are dickheads

March 31st, 2010 // 46 Comments

Michael Lohan held a press conference yesterday at his lawyer’s office yesterday where he announced his plans to get Lindsay in rehab before she dies but really just wanted an opportunity to shove his face in the press. I mean, Christ, he even brought his star-fucker girlfriend who literally smiled for the cameras. “Everyone say ‘Lindsay’s gonna die!’ Cheese!”

Not one to miss out on delicious press, Dina also got in the act and used Lindsay’s imminent death to bitch about Michael not paying child support and tout her incredible parenting skills:

“I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using this [Lindsay's problems] as a diversion.”
Dina says, “Lindsay is in good hands. Everything is fine.” She adds, “He’s trashing a child he doesn’t even see.”

Seeing how the fact that the media already wrote Lindsay’s obituary started this whole mess, here’s The Superficial version that’s ready to go at a moment’s notice:

“It was Dina and Michael Lohan’s fault.”

I think that covers all the bases.

Photos: Fame
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