Archive for December, 2009

Lindsay Lohan draws a crowd? WTF?

December 29th, 2009 // 34 Comments

Lindsay Lohan went shopping in New York last night where her mere presence drew a crowd so large it required the police to come out and direct traffic. Seriously, Lindsay Lohan? Considering it was 80 below zero on the East Coast last night, you’d figure people would just look at pics of her on the Internet in the comfort of their own home. Also, there’s a considerably less chance they’ll get their face gnawed off in a drug-related mugging.

Unless she’s figured out how to jump through screens… DON’T CLICK PLAY!!

That was fast. The Kardashian Baby, everyone.

December 29th, 2009 // 50 Comments

It’s barely been two weeks and Kourtney Kardashian is already pimping her newborn son Mason Dash Disick in the latest issue of Life & Style. In fact, I’m pretty sure she gnawed off the umbilical cord just in time for the first shot. No, really, tell me that’s not the face of a woman who wish she Scotch taped the C-Section incision shut because it’s dripping on her foot. You can’t.

Photos: Courtesy of Life & Style

Michael Lohan kicked his ex in the vagina. Of course.

December 29th, 2009 // 33 Comments

Michael Lohan’s ex-girlfriend Erin Muller filed a detailed list of abuse in court papers yesterday which are a response to Michael Lohan’s harassment allegations against her. And it looks like she’s going with the classic defense of “Are you fucking kidding me? This cock kicked me in the no-no spot.” TMZ reports:

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan “slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.
Feb. 2008: Michael “punched Erin in the mouth” because she had a male friend on Facebook.
March 2008: Michael “whipped a computer cord” at her face but she blocked it with her hand … causing a laceration.
May 5, 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the ribs.”
May 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain.”
June 2008: Michael “spit in Erin’s face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist.” Then he “yelled at her to ‘stop crying c*nt — other people will see you — if they see you, I will kill you!’”

Not to condone his actions, but wouldn’t Erin Muller honestly prefer to be kicked in the vagina by Michael Lohan instead of him, I dunno, sticking his penis in it? I’m not trying to be insensitive or anything. Just attempting to wrap my head around the situation, that’s all.

Giuliana & Bill Returns January 3rd!

December 29th, 2009 // Leave a Comment

Once upon a time, E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi interviewed Apprentice winner Bill Rancic. They fell in love, got married and settled down in Chicago and L.A.! Watch their wedded bliss unfold in Style’s real-life romantic comedy.

Catch the New Season January 3rd 9/8c on Style.

Photo: WENN

Charlie Sheen: ‘My wife’s jealous of my daughter’

December 29th, 2009 // 56 Comments

According to police documents, Charlie Sheen told officers at the scene of his fight with wife Brooke Mueller that his wife was jealous of a Christmas song he shares with his daughter Sam from Denise Richards. This led to him snapping her eyeglasses in half during a “predominantly verbal argument.” E! News reports:

Sheen told Magnuson that Mueller was jealous of his relationship with a daughter he fathered with someone else and that their latest argument started when he “shared a song for his daughter.”
Their “predominantly verbal” scuffle escalated and both slapped each other’s arm during the fight, Sheen said. Mueller “irately” threatened to divorce him and take the kids, and at some point he grabbed her eyeglasses off her face and snapped them in two, the actor admitted.

And that brings us to Brooke’s side of the story which doesn’t involve her acting like a villain from a bad Christmas special. “She hates the magic of our daddy/daughter song. Oh noes!”:

Sheen became enraged when Mueller told him she wanted a divorce and would take their children away, states the report filed by responding officer Rick Magnuson of the Aspen Police Department. (Mueller talked to a female officer at the scene, who relayed her statements to Magnuson.)
When Mueller said this, Sheen straddled her on the bed and grabbed the upper part of her throat, she told police, adding that he then put a knife to her throat and said, “You better be in fear. If you tell anybody, I’ll kill you.”
And his alleged comments get nastier.
“Your mother’s money means nothing, I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won’t leave any trace,” Sheen continued, according to Mueller.
Mueller told the police that she feared for her life and that Sheen only let her up when she apologized, telling him, “You’re right, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry, I love you.”

Of course, the most surprising aspect of this ordeal is that Denise Richards hasn’t used it as an excuse to shove her face in front of the camera. I’m serious. Charlie Sheen flipping his shit? Not exactly shocking news. Denise Richards not pouncing on an opportunity to call him an asshole? Someone should probably form a search party and prepare her kids for the worse. (I’ll get the hand puppets.)

Photos: WENN

The Wentz’s abuse their child with their dumb faces and other news

December 28th, 2009 // 38 Comments

- Jude Law and Sienna Miller should probably not wear swimwear together. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tyra Banks is quitting her talk show already. She knows she’s not Oprah, right? Tell me someone’s said that to her. [PopEater]

- Pamela Anderson’s breasts should never be examined up close. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Jon Gosselin had something happen to his apartment that didn’t involve him being murdered, so now I regret wasting my precious words on this sentence. [Just Jared]

- Ivana Trump was forcibly removed from an airplane after swearing at little kids which, in this writer’s eyes, completely redeemed the entire airline industry for letting the Underwear Bomber on. [Celebslam]

- Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t entirely bored with Bar Refaeli’s vagina yet. [PopSugar]

- Kourtney Kardashian’s boyfriend made her lift boxes while she was pregnant. — Why do I suddenly feel a high five coming on? [The Blemish]

- Mary J. Blige and Elin Woods should fight crime together. [Socialite Life]

- Paris Hilton pretends Doug Reinhardt didn’t beat her with the tree this year for Christmas. [ICYDK]

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Photos: Splash News