Archive for November, 2009

Katie Holmes is lucky to be alive

November 25th, 2009 // 46 Comments

Clearly on a suicide mission to free herself of tiny shackles forever, Katie Holmes went to see New Moon over the weekend and basically threw herself to the lions. FOX 411 reports:

“Katie talked through all of ‘New Moon.’ It was unbelievable – they talked nonstop about the movie and everything else. Some people wanted to tell them to be quiet, but when they realized who it was, they stayed silent. No one wanted to shush Katie.”

Wow, Twi-hards are dumb because I’m pretty sure it’s incredibly easy to shush Katie Holmes. All you gotta do is inhale a bunch of helium then say something like, “Katie, why are there so many Thetans in this room?” Or “Katie, I thought I told you to wear metal underwear on that thing.” She’ll clam right up.

Photos: Splash News

Megan Fox not invited to Transformers reunion

November 25th, 2009 // 93 Comments

Tensions are apparently still high from the open letter calling Megan Fox a “thankless, unfriendly bitch” because she was noticeably absent from Michael Bay’s reunion party for the cast and crew of Transformers, according to Page Six. At this point, it’s safe to assume these two will never be in the same room together until it’s time to film Transformers 3: This Time All The Robots Have Giant Metal Testicles and One’s Gay.

Photos: INFdaily

Chace Crawford used to bang Shauna Sand

November 25th, 2009 // 85 Comments

The headline pretty much covers it. Star reports:

Four years before Gossip Girl brought him instant stardom, the 18-year-old hunky college freshman had a steamy, sex-filled romance with model/actress Shauna, the ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and May 1996 Playmate who is 14 years his senior!
“He was so incredibly beautiful — I immediately fell in love with him!” Shauna tells Star exclusively about meeting Chase at a college party in Malibu. The couple began dating “and I even gave him a key to my apartment,” Shauna said.
They quickly wore out a path to the bedroom. And though Chace has said he dated a girl for three years while in high school, a friend tells Star: “Chace told me, ‘Shauna was the first girl I ever had sex with! She blew my mind, and I’ll never forget it!’”

Wait. The source of this story is Shauna Sand? Jesus. Let this be a lesson to you, young Hollywood: The things you stick your penis in will always come back to haunt you. Right, Phantom Copy Machine trying to call TMZ? — HEY!

Photos: WENN

Taylor Lautner in Rolling Stone and other news

November 24th, 2009 // 74 Comments

- Rihanna does Good Morning America while Adam Lambert learns a lesson about ABC not being MTV. [Lainey Gossip]

- Lady GaGa gets breasty at Best Buy. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are apparently going to do it. [PopEater]

- Kate Bosworth is leggy. [Celebslam]

- Leighton Meester can go in my stocking. Blake Lively, you get under the tree. [Just Jared]

- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart tweet together. [PopSugar]

- John Mayer in DETAILS. [ICYDK]

- Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian bought a new home. With his money. [Betty Confidential]

- Ashley Greene? But she’s not dressed all slutty like. This has to be a mistake… [Splash News]

Brad & Angelina don’t agree on politics. OH SHIT!

November 24th, 2009 // 119 Comments

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie apparently have heated discussions over Obama, according to Us Magazine:

“She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise,” adds the source.
“Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors,” the source says.
And those political views are putting her at odds with Brad Pitt, 45, who is a big fan of the president and even went solo to the 2008 election party in Chicago.
“They get in nasty arguments all the time about it,” says the source. “She doesn’t respect Brad when it comes to politics, but, in the end, this won’t tear them apart.”

MEMORANDUM

TO: Editors Stuck Working This Week (Sorry!)
RE: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie

Hey, if you guys could make up a wacky story where Angelina Jolie inexplicably repeats Glenn Beck talking points while liberal Brad gets all offended, that would be tits.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Management,
Us Magazine

11/24/09

#

Photos: Getty

Zoe Saldana in a bikini thinks you’re a pansy

November 24th, 2009 // 73 Comments

Actress Zoe Saldana (Star Trek) poses for DETAILS.com and talks about her penchant for starring in action flicks like the upcoming Avatar:

“I’m such a physical person, action-film work came natural,” Saldana says. “Even at 5 years old, I was watching Sarah Connor. If you fucking switched the channel to The Last Unicorn, I would’ve been like, ‘Ah, Jesus–just find your way home, you fucking unicorn!’”

Ways to Bang Zoe Saldana

- Write a blog.
- Wear a unicorn around waist using penis as a horn.
{{{ – Hot-glue circuits to testicles, claim to be The Terminator. }}}

Photos: Doug Inglish for DETAILS