Archive for November, 2009

Alessandra Ambrosio poses for DT and other news

November 30th, 2009 // 60 Comments
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- Paris Hilton goes skiing with arms dealers which proves she’s a biological weapon for the government. [Lainey Gossip]

- Carmen Electra’s leaked lesbian “sex tape” was really a viral ad. That would explain the lack of sex. [Drunken Stepfater: Site is NSFW]

- Chelsea Clinton is engaged. [Just Jared]

- Michael Lohan did NOT threaten to kill himself on Twitter but appreciates the idea. [PopEater]

- Kevin Federline lost some weight. I think. It depends on the angle, really. [Celebslam]

- Colin Farrell gets shirtless for the woman he knocked up. [PopSugar]

- Shauna Sands stops pretending she wasn’t 100% behind the release of her sex tape. [The Blemish]

- Britney Spears might have proposed to Jason Trawick. Or got down on one knee to pick up an M&M. Story developing… [Wonderwall]

- Tom Cruise horns in on Katie Holme’s So You Think Can Dance action because he’s a tiny eater of joy. [Socialite Life]

Photos: DT Magazine
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Kim & Khloe Kardashian are full of shit

November 30th, 2009 // 156 Comments
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Kim Kardashian posted the rest of the obviously Photoshopped pics from her QuickTrim photoshoot on her blog today. Of course, since Kim has the intelligence of a reality star who followed the footsteps of Paris Hilton, she included non-airbrushed pics of a fully-clothed Khloe and herself that slap you in the face with how edited the bikini shots are. Unless these two know some sort of sorcery that makes Khloe’s Chewbaccian ass deflate at will, there’s no way in hell these two legitimately lost weight.

Also that would require work, I rest my case.

Photos: Kim Kardashian
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Cindy Crawford & Elisabetta Canalis in bikinis

November 30th, 2009 // 57 Comments
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George Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis spent the holiday weekend in Mexico with Cindy Crawford and her husband Randy Gerber, and surprisingly none of these pics include Clooney instructing a submissive Cindy to throw her wedding ring into the ocean before slathering a naked Elisabetta in organic guacamole. Personally, I don’t even think George Clooney likes women anymore because there’s really no other explanation here. Did he lose his voice and there wasn’t a pad of paper handy? I’m confused.

Photos: Flynet, Splash News
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Nick Hogan is still a f-cking idiot

November 30th, 2009 // 57 Comments
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On the bright side, no one ended up with a gaping hole in their face. Via TMZ:

Nick Hogan was involved in a minor car accident last night in downtown Los Angeles.
He was coming back from a charity event to raise money for an organization called Keep It On The Track that teaches people to drive safely.

Seriously, who the fuck invited Nick Hogan to an event about safe driving? Because there’s no way anyone who’s not a blood relative legitimately said “Oh, yeah, that kid learned his lesson.” I even got drunk and tried once and the only thing I could muster was Nick Hogan possibly feeling a small pang of remorse if John Graziano had borrowed his Wii and never returned it. Even then we’re talking five, maybe six, seconds of regret, maybe.

Photos: WENN
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Emma Watson in a bikini

November 30th, 2009 // 289 Comments
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Because perverts make up 98% of The Superficial’s traffic – And 110% of the editorial staff. (I have a conjoined twin.) – here’s a bikini-clad Emma Watson in Jamaica this morning. For any young Harry Potter fans accidentally stumbling upon this post, you’re probably experiencing strange feelings you’ve never felt before. But don’t worry, those feelings are perfectly natural and are only going to send you to Hell for a fiery eternity spent wishing you only thought about baseball and free market capitalism. No biggie.

NOTE: Did I tell you guys James Dobson is covering the site today? Probably should’ve mentioned that.

Photos: Splash News
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David Hasselhoff’s entire family has a drinking problem

November 30th, 2009 // 36 Comments
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Depending on where you got your gossip in my absence, David Hasselhoff was either hospitalized for a seizure or put on psychological hold for the weekend. Regardless it’s pretty much a given he drank an entire replica of KITT filled with bourbon then lost consciousness. On top of that, his ex-wife Pamela Bach managed to get herself picked up for DUI the next day. E! News reports:

The 46-year-old sometimes-actress, who has her own history of alcohol abuse, was arrested in Los Angeles around 8 p.m. Saturday after getting pulled over by the California Highway Patrol and then flubbing a sobriety test. She had breathalyzer tests of .14 and .13, the CHP said, well above the legal limit of .08. Bach was booked at the Van Nuys Jail, and released Sunday morning.

I’m going to assume a traditional Hasselhoff Family Christmas involves everyone gathered around the tree unwrapping their annual gift of a new liver in a cooler. And by unwrapping I of course mean attacking the presents with a broom because “that’s how you get them cold coins to pop out.”

Photos: WENN
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